Pygmalion

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Mr. E
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Pygmalion

#1 Post by Mr. E » Sun Jan 14, 2007 9:41 pm

Ok. Here's my game. Please comment and criticize at will.
Time: 15-30 minutes to see all paths.
Age rating: 13+ due to some very mild nudity in one scene in the extras.
Synopsis: Andrew is a successful manga artist that, in a fit of disapointment over his work, creates a character just like the woman of his dreams. But characters can't come to life, can they?

EDIT: Here's 1.1... Sorry everybody. I didn't knew that those files were going with the package...

EDIT N.2: Version 1.2 here. Fixed a few grammar mistakes and Changed to Ren'py 5.6.6. I owe a big favour to dizzcity for all the corrections. (And as a sidenote... My game was downloaded 100 times! Yay! *Dances around, trips on something and falls down*)
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Pygmalion-1.2.zip
(10.64 MiB) Downloaded 1720 times
Last edited by Mr. E on Fri Feb 02, 2007 4:31 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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DaFool
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#2 Post by DaFool » Sun Jan 14, 2007 11:03 pm

Congratulations on the first game of 2007!

Whee, and now with omake!

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Keitsu Han'ei
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#3 Post by Keitsu Han'ei » Mon Jan 15, 2007 2:36 am

very interesting synopsis.... now gimme a couple of moment to panic download before it rains and i'll get back to you >o<
DA Page me anytime for job offers *_*

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F.I.A
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#4 Post by F.I.A » Mon Jan 15, 2007 3:25 am

Congratulations on your first game, Mr. E!(Dang, another one beat me to it.)

Well, aside from the comments I gave in the WIP thread, I have to say those new scenes look good enough. And yea, the Extra section is entertaining.

Though, I am wondering why there is a compressed Pygmalion.rar inside the game directory. If anything, it is the beta version of your game. If you are to publish a full version of the game, it is wiser to remove other unnecessary files to cut down the size. Excluding the beta version, the game can be only 11.5 mb instead of the current 18.3 mb. And mind you, those numbers do matter for those without a good connection speed.

Well, too bad there is not really a NaNoReNo this year, but that does not mean you cannot just make your next game in time. So good luck.
「通りすがりのメーカだ。覚えとけ。」

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Winter shard
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WIP: Hyperion(Trace unknown), ?????(Progressing)

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Keitsu Han'ei
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#5 Post by Keitsu Han'ei » Mon Jan 15, 2007 3:58 am

oh? there's onli 2 endings?

ah, the synopsis gave me a cliche feeling about the whole thing of a character coming out of something but this is really good. i love how everything just falls into place and how real it could be.

though the first time i played, it shut down on me halfway...

after that, there isn;t much problems.

*applauds for the work*
DA Page me anytime for job offers *_*

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monele
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#6 Post by monele » Mon Jan 15, 2007 5:30 am

Ah! So I'm not the only one getting random crashes ^^;. I still have to try out this new version though.

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#7 Post by Ignosco » Mon Jan 15, 2007 7:59 am

Congratulations :D, this is a great VN
The art worked well for the story, particularly having Andrew facing the opposite direction sometimes (I haven't seen that technique used before). The facial expressions were very vivid too. I know almost nothing about anime or the anime scene so I can't really say much about that part of the story from an anime perspective, but I've seen or read about similar things happening to people... not nearly to that extent though.. I've only got ending 1 so far, so I might edit this once I've got the others... In regards to the bonus for ending 1 - if I remember correctly part of the reason why Hitler became who he was, was that he failed to get into Art College... :?

Edit: Have got all three endings now - The literary references, to Shelley, Poe etc fitted into the story quite well and the touches of humour were great... The main message of the story seems very important, as (in my opinion) that we all shape each other in some way, and the reminder of the responsibility we have to each other because of this is an important thing. When you were writing this story, was the main focus on the moral message of it?
There's one 'bug' I've noticed, as the save file location name (not sure of the proper name for it) is too long and the screen expands downwards to fit the text and it overlaps the return button. I can get around it by saving and then just loading the saved game.. maybe you could change it to 'Meeting at Comicket'?

The game also crashed on me near the end, but upon reloading there were no problems. :?.. Whenever I exit the game I also get a strange message which I can upload if you're interested.

I'm looking forward to the next game you make, congratulations again :D

Edit: Attachment removed
Last edited by Ignosco on Sat Jan 20, 2007 10:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

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#8 Post by mikey » Mon Jan 15, 2007 10:05 am

Congratulations! There's not much more to add that hasn'e been said here or in the WIP thread. Just one thing: Can we add the game to the Ren'Ai Archives?

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Alessio
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#9 Post by Alessio » Mon Jan 15, 2007 11:22 am

F.I.A wrote:Excluding the beta version, the game can be only 11.5 mb instead of the current 18.3 mb.
There is also a 10 MB draft picture that is apparently not used (pygmalion.bmp). Deleting both useless files we're down to 10 MB file size. :)

Other than that, congratulations for the release! I'll start playing now...

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lordcloudx
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#10 Post by lordcloudx » Mon Jan 15, 2007 2:25 pm

hey! Mr. E is using a kino's journey quote for a sig... hehe I think I'll give this game a download.
How do you make your games? I see. Thank you for the prompt replies, but it is my considered opinion that you're doing it wrong inefficiently because I am a perfushenal professional. Do it my way this way and we can all ascend VN Nirvana together while allowing me to stroke my ego you will improve much faster. Also, please don't forget to thank me for this constructive critique or I will cry and bore you to death respond appropriately with a tl;dr rant discourse of epic adequately lengthy proportions. - Sarcasm Veiled in Euphemism: Secrets of Forum Civility by lordcloudx (Coming soon to an online ebook near you.)

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#11 Post by monele » Mon Jan 15, 2007 3:47 pm

I second the problems of the filesize ^^. Got it down to 8mb and that would be better :).
Well since I already beta tested, I just enjoyed the new pictures (neat ^^) and the little Extras which actually add a lot to the experience for me :).
A great little game ^^

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Mr. E
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#12 Post by Mr. E » Mon Jan 15, 2007 7:00 pm

My first game! *Walks around nervously, goes at the forum, reads everything, hesitates, decides to wait some more before answering, Walks around nervously, repeats the whole process over and over again*
Anyways...

DaFool: Hope the omake and the new images are worth it for you (check out the credits :D )

Keitsu Han'ei: Actually there are three endings. They are:
Hubris A, Hubris B and Nemesis
Each one of them opens up one "extra". The extra "The myth of Pygmalion" is already present at the begining. Sadly enough, I don't know what causes these crashes. If anyone can help me with that I will release Pygmalion 1.2...(Already :? )

monele: I'm glad the extras were worth the while then. I already took out the unnecessary stuff (sorry!) But the final size is 10MB not 8... (Or is there a way to make it even more compact?)

Ignosco: Thanks for the heads up. I already corrected that. I also get that message at the end and I have no idea what it means... :( And about the moral of the story
Actually, I didn't think about any moral or objective when making this story. I just went on creating and when I finished I gave my interpretation of the story, but it was about as much of a surprise to me as to anyone else...
mikey: Of course! I've got the other versions (Mac and Linux) of the game here. What should I do with them? (E-mail is going to be a bit tough... I would have to send it in pieces or use someone else's e-mail...)

Alessio: I also erased the picture for version 1.1. Hope you enjoy my game.

lordcloudx: You know that anime too?! It's probably one of the best I've ever seen. I almost cried when I saw for the first time that part I quoted...

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lordcloudx
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#13 Post by lordcloudx » Mon Jan 15, 2007 11:19 pm

Mr. E: yep! It's one of my favorites. There's a glowing review for it on my website. I like how it uses the absurd to depict human nature and how it never gets overly dramatic.

back on topic: I've got your game and I'm gonna try to get through it in one sitting tonight.
How do you make your games? I see. Thank you for the prompt replies, but it is my considered opinion that you're doing it wrong inefficiently because I am a perfushenal professional. Do it my way this way and we can all ascend VN Nirvana together while allowing me to stroke my ego you will improve much faster. Also, please don't forget to thank me for this constructive critique or I will cry and bore you to death respond appropriately with a tl;dr rant discourse of epic adequately lengthy proportions. - Sarcasm Veiled in Euphemism: Secrets of Forum Civility by lordcloudx (Coming soon to an online ebook near you.)

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#14 Post by mikey » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:03 am

Mr. E wrote:mikey: Of course! I've got the other versions (Mac and Linux) of the game here. What should I do with them? (E-mail is going to be a bit tough... I would have to send it in pieces or use someone else's e-mail...)
You can also upload to to rapidshare or similar. But you can also send it in pieces, or upload to the forums in pieces. It's probably wise to wait for a version that fixes the crashing though. Take your time, the most important is the permission, we'll find a way of uploading :P .

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Alessio
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#15 Post by Alessio » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:05 am

Very nice! I really liked the fact that some thought went into the story. The beginning was captivating despite it being a one-man show - well done, reminded me of a theater piece. Also, very nice body language/expressions of Andrew!
If there was anything to improve, it would be the technical side of the graphics: The living room background was a bit bland, and the characters' transparency was a bit too harsh on the borders (you could try using a more gradual transparency so that the outline blends in nicely with the backgrounds).

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