Bremen [Fairy tale] [Dark fantasy] [Comedy] [GxB/G]

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Manga
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Bremen [Fairy tale] [Dark fantasy] [Comedy] [GxB/G]

#1 Post by Manga » Wed Sep 26, 2012 4:40 pm

This is a semi-prequel to another visual novel I'm doing. However, since the other one is fairly long (at least in comparision), and has menu choices up the wazoo, I think I'd like to have a go with something more static. And, perhaps this'll let me think more about the setting of the other visual novel.

Image

Oh yeah, and I'm going to be drawing like that. Heads up. Thought, you know, too many animesque drawings out there. Need uniqueness. So let's do a throwback! To stick figures. Because.

I'm going to try and be vague here. No point in even making the game if I told you everything. I will be posting some more images soon (and later on some screenshots), though.

In all honesty, though, I'm not sure I like how the hair turned out. Might edit that.

Synopsis:
You are Lucy. A former towndweller. When you were a child, you were kidnapped and magically replaced by less-than-reputable creatures for less-than-pleasant reasons. You have spent the past few years trapped, in their company. By happenstance, they have lost control of you and three others. Also, they were murdered.

You have a hatchet, and three people who you don't know but are now your bestest friends. As the Woods where you are kept are pretty terrible even without your little magical slave-runners, I suggest fleeing. Towards the town, of course. Your family is there, but as they don't even know you ever left, the main objective would be to get away from the maneating monsters that are probably behind you. Good thing you have a hatchet, that should be enough for some of the creatures. Probably.

Break a leg, as they say.

Setting:
Although this is a prequel, let's stick with the Woods for now. Because you don't really need to know about the outside, or the mages who run about. The main character certainly does not know these things. The Woods rarely allow for much communication to the outside, and it's been a while. Frankly, you don't even know much about the current location, given that you're mostly sheltered.

The Woods, as they are known, are filled with trees that go bang in the night. Goblins prowl about doing evil... gobliny things. And, of course, there are werewolves. They aren't very talkative. For the best, I guess, given that the things that do talk tend to try and aim for first-born sons or your soul, providing they don't just trick you into walking into a hidden spike pit. Or challenge you to an annoying game of riddles.

Bremen is a town. It is where you originally come from. It also rhymes with semen. These are all things to consider. Doesn't do much, but is located way too close to that forest thing.

Characters:
Image

Lucy
This would be you. The synopsis pretty much got your backstory, I imagine. Personality-wise, I suppose you are somewhat bitter. Being enslaved in such a manner does that to people. Given that you're going around brandishing a weapon, I'm sure you're also fairly strong-willed. I'll let you decide on the more intricate workings of your mind.

You're probably insane, though.

Jim
Again, mildly insane. Distracted. Distant. Has bad dreams. Can set things on fire with his mind. Is fond of cheddar.

A romance option, although don't expect romance to play as big a role as it does in other games. But, hey, where's the fun in going around covered in blood if you don't take the time to have a shag?

Derek
Has a sword. Violent. Passively seeming with rage. Of course, a bit unhinged.

Again, a romance option. Same applies.

Alice
Snarky, as every group needs a snarker. Ever played Dragon Age? Alistair's a good comparison here. Coping better than others with the whole insanity thing, so it seems.

Also a romance option, because why not?

Note
Although all these characters are, indeed, insane, they're not that crazy. Just to put your fears to rest. Most of the time, you wouldn't even notice if you didn't have such close contact with them. Which you will have.

Music:
Just a little note here. Since I can play the keyboard, I will probably try a few short tunes to add in. However, the first version of the game is probably going to lack most background sound, at least initially. It can be a pain, given that I have little way of doing proper
recording.
Last edited by Manga on Mon Jan 21, 2013 8:31 pm, edited 5 times in total.

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Re: Bremen [Fairy tale] [Dark fantasy] [Comedy] [GxB/G]

#2 Post by gekiganwing » Wed Sep 26, 2012 7:17 pm

Welcome to the forum, Manga.

It's good to start with a simple VN. Climb a hill before trying to climb a mountain.

I'm wondering how the events in your story will happen. It sounds like there are obstacles to overcome and multiple endings. If I may make a suggestion, think about your story will be structured. I think you'll benefit by having Lucy realize in the first few scenes that she's been raised by dangerous and untrustworthy creatures. Show how she wants something specific very badly, and show us her attempts to get it. From there on, the conflict should escalate. You won't necessarily benefit by emulating story patterns from _The Hero with a Thousand Faces_, but you want to make sure you present a struggle that your readers will appreciate and understand.

Also, are Jim, Derek, and Alice humans? I know you said that their sanity is dubious. If their humanity is also in doubt, just say so.

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Re: Bremen [Fairy tale] [Dark fantasy] [Comedy] [GxB/G]

#3 Post by AshenhartKrie » Wed Sep 26, 2012 8:47 pm

HEHEHE... I LOVE the sound of this. Always good to have an insane chick with a murder weapon as the main character. *huge thumbs up*
And Alistiar is totally the best. Please tell me one of the other's is going to be Alice's 'Morrigan'? banter.... oh the hilarity of that banter.
Anyway, i think it loos and sounds good, and I will most definitely be playing this when you're done.
Good luck.

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Re: Bremen [Fairy tale] [Dark fantasy] [Comedy] [GxB/G]

#4 Post by Aedin » Wed Sep 26, 2012 9:55 pm

That is the crack-est description I have ever read. I think I'm in love.
Seriously though, this sounds like a lot of fun and I can already tell it's going to be hilarious. I love the choice of art style.
Manga wrote:But, hey, where's the fun in going around covered in blood if you don't take the time to have a shag?
For some reason, I read that in his voice.

Anyhow, I wish you luck, and I shall be keeping a close eye on this.
"There’s no shame in pleasure, Mr. Gray. You see, man just wants to be happy, but society wants him to be good. And when he’s good, man is rarely happy, and when he’s happy he is always good."

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Re: Bremen [Fairy tale] [Dark fantasy] [Comedy] [GxB/G]

#5 Post by Manga » Thu Sep 27, 2012 4:03 am

gekiganwing wrote:Welcome to the forum, Manga.
Yo.
It's good to start with a simple VN. Climb a hill before trying to climb a mountain.
Gotta agree there.
I'm wondering how the events in your story will happen. It sounds like there are obstacles to overcome and multiple endings. If I may make a suggestion, think about your story will be structured. I think you'll benefit by having Lucy realize in the first few scenes that she's been raised by dangerous and untrustworthy creatures. Show how she wants something specific very badly, and show us her attempts to get it. From there on, the conflict should escalate. You won't necessarily benefit by emulating story patterns from _The Hero with a Thousand Faces_, but you want to make sure you present a struggle that your readers will appreciate and understand.
Structure's always a hard thing. I have a great idea on what obstacles there will be, and how the game begins and how it ends (there will be some different endings, yes. Though, I think some of the fun comes more in how you get to the end), but it can be hard to make it feel like they're not just jumping from place to place randomly.

She's aware her raising was not normal. As for her motivation, it's really quite simple. You want out. It just so happens that an opportunity has appeared, namely the untimely slaughter of basically everyone you knew (and didn't much like). And you've found a hatchet.

Run through the woods, wearing a hood, and make everything that tries to stop you explode in (puts on accent) bloud.

And when you're willing to kill for something, I find conflicts arise naturally.
Also, are Jim, Derek, and Alice humans? I know you said that their sanity is dubious. If their humanity is also in doubt, just say so.
Oo, that is a good question! Indeed, their humanity is in doubt. Even if they were human, it's possible they wouldn't be such after the kidnapping. A bit like Changeling: The Lost, now that I think about it. And there's no definite yes that you ever escaped.

"What if this is all a trick... or if I was allowed to leave?" <- TV Tropes on Changeling. That sounds fun.
The game is actually a drug-induced hallucination of the three teenagers, leading to a dramatic "drugs are bad" moral when they find themselves "back to Earth" and surrounded by corpses.
No, wait. That's stupid. Disregard.
----
AshenhartKrie wrote:HEHEHE... I LOVE the sound of this. Always good to have an insane chick with a murder weapon as the main character. *huge thumbs up*
You and I, we share such wavelengths. I think Aedin's hitting on me, though.
And Alistiar is totally the best. Please tell me one of the other's is going to be Alice's 'Morrigan'? banter.... oh the hilarity of that banter.
Don't have any specific Morrigan in mind, but yes. That was some good banter. Hopefully, I can find a sufficient substitute.
Anyway, i think it loos [...] good
Well, that's certainly an opinion.

----
Aedin wrote:That is the crack-est description I have ever read. I think I'm in love.
Let's not rush this. I'm not that kind of woman.

Of course, I am male. But, if I wasn't male, that kind of woman is not what I would be.
Seriously though, this sounds like a lot of fun and I can already tell it's going to be hilarious. I love the choice of art style.
I like the artstyle too, which is good given that I'm the drawer here. It appeals to both my lack of skill, and my stylistic side.
For some reason, I read that in his voice.
It's good to see that my old Dragon Age reference was not lost.

Zevran was, of course, awesome.

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Re: Bremen [Fairy tale] [Dark fantasy] [Comedy] [GxB/G]

#6 Post by Aedin » Thu Sep 27, 2012 2:07 pm

Manga wrote:
Aedin wrote:That is the crack-est description I have ever read. I think I'm in love.
Let's not rush this. I'm not that kind of woman.

Of course, I am male. But, if I wasn't male, that kind of woman is not what I would be.
Well, dang. Way to crush my dreams.
Last edited by Aedin on Thu Sep 27, 2012 3:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"There’s no shame in pleasure, Mr. Gray. You see, man just wants to be happy, but society wants him to be good. And when he’s good, man is rarely happy, and when he’s happy he is always good."

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Re: Bremen [Fairy tale] [Dark fantasy] [Comedy] [GxB/G]

#7 Post by Aedin » Thu Sep 27, 2012 2:08 pm

-double post- ._.
Last edited by Aedin on Thu Sep 27, 2012 3:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"There’s no shame in pleasure, Mr. Gray. You see, man just wants to be happy, but society wants him to be good. And when he’s good, man is rarely happy, and when he’s happy he is always good."

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Re: Bremen [Fairy tale] [Dark fantasy] [Comedy] [GxB/G]

#8 Post by Hiddlestoners » Thu Sep 27, 2012 2:15 pm

Ermagerhd I love you.
This is amazing. Please don't drop it. Or I might have to employ Lucy to do something with her hatchet...
If you need any help...do ask ;)
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Re: Bremen [Fairy tale] [Dark fantasy] [Comedy] [GxB/G]

#9 Post by Manga » Thu Sep 27, 2012 5:28 pm

Ah, those warm feelings I get when someone threatens me with a hatchet are going to fuel this game.

Glad to see people are liking the game so far. Hopefully, the finished product will not disappoint.
Aedin wrote:Well, dang. Way to crush my dreams.
In another universe, Aedin. In another universe.

In other news, here's a quick little drawing of what I dub "child Lucy", as a "preview". Yeah, this image lasts for about... a second (actually less). Then grabby zombie hands emerge, as they are prone to do.
Image

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Re: Bremen [Fairy tale] [Dark fantasy] [Comedy] [GxB/G]

#10 Post by Manga » Fri Oct 05, 2012 6:16 pm

Apologies, been a bit preoccupied to properly work on the game recently. But I have a very good reason for this: I just got Mass Effect 3. And if that isn't a good reason, then I don't know what the heck is.

Been testing around a bit with the artstyle. Of course, basics have remained the same. They have circle heads and a bias towards square bodies. But, still:
Image
Might go for a style more like this for the game, like the way the faces turned out. Add more edgey outlines? Wondering what everyone thought of it. Hard to judge until it's all together, to be honest, but maybe someone will have some super cool ideas. Of course, there's a certain niceness in more simple designs. Like the current "logo". Or, there is that avatar of mine. I could go for a look more like that.

Although those eyes have pupils, I have decided that no matter what, Lucy will be pupilness. It's like, a thing, or something. Other people will be happy enough to continue a pupilled existence.

-----

A new character concept, sort of. Quick sketch:
Image

Yeah, this guy being is called Malum. I think that just about sums up anything I could say about him. He will have more importance in the game to which this is a prequel, but suffice to say he is neither of the Woods nor particuarly nice.

Click on that image, by the way, for an inner insight to his deepest thoughts.

Also, that colour robe merges into the forums' colour a bit. Looks weird.

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Re: Bremen [Fairy tale] [Dark fantasy] [Comedy] [GxB/G]

#11 Post by AshenhartKrie » Thu Oct 11, 2012 5:45 am

I want ME3.... no wait, I want all the ME games.... *grumblesaboutbeingpoor*
I like your look. It's cute, it's cartoony, and it's scary, everything cartoons should be ^^
I was gunna make a dumb joke about Aedin hitting on you but now i can't be effed

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Re: Bremen [Fairy tale] [Dark fantasy] [Comedy] [GxB/G]

#12 Post by Manga » Thu Oct 11, 2012 11:56 am

I'm afraid I have already made the dumb jokes about Aedin hitting on me. I might make some more, though. Hmmm. "Aedin"? More like... *points at someone else like both my hands were guns while raising an eyebrow* Hey. Din. Yeah.

Well, I'm just about satisfied with my level of punwork there. I just hope "Ae" is pronounced to rhyme with "hey", or I have made a fool of myself.

And thanks for the compliment. In development news, I'm tempted to add in a bunch of musical numbers to the game, but I cannot sing and it probably wouldn't fit with the rest of the VN. On the other hand, that's never stopped me before.

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Re: Bremen [Fairy tale] [Dark fantasy] [Comedy] [GxB/G]

#13 Post by Aedin » Thu Oct 11, 2012 2:51 pm

Manga wrote:Well, I'm just about satisfied with my level of punwork there. I just hope "Ae" is pronounced to rhyme with "hey", or I have made a fool of myself.
Don't worry, it is.

Also, I vote yes on the musical numbers.
"There’s no shame in pleasure, Mr. Gray. You see, man just wants to be happy, but society wants him to be good. And when he’s good, man is rarely happy, and when he’s happy he is always good."

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Re: Bremen [Fairy tale] [Dark fantasy] [Comedy] [GxB/G]

#14 Post by WickedRaccoon » Thu Oct 11, 2012 4:22 pm

looks interesting.will keep me eye on this ^^

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Re: Bremen [Fairy tale] [Dark fantasy] [Comedy] [GxB/G]

#15 Post by AshenhartKrie » Thu Oct 11, 2012 6:05 pm

Manga wrote:I'm afraid I have already made the dumb jokes about Aedin hitting on me. I might make some more, though. Hmmm. "Aedin"? More like... *points at someone else like both my hands were guns while raising an eyebrow* Hey. Din. Yeah.

Well, I'm just about satisfied with my level of punwork there. I just hope "Ae" is pronounced to rhyme with "hey", or I have made a fool of myself.

And thanks for the compliment. In development news, I'm tempted to add in a bunch of musical numbers to the game, but I cannot sing and it probably wouldn't fit with the rest of the VN. On the other hand, that's never stopped me before.
I would be happy to sing with my horrible voice that sounds like a banshee should you ever need the help to make others' eardrums bleed profusely.
Also, I agree with Aedin. Musical numbers is a must.

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