Kuroi Tsubasa [GxB][Supernatural/Fantasy][Romance/Action]

[DangoRiceBalls]

Tokiwa Nakamura comes from a very rich family. She moves to a large complex made specifically for the elites and rich. On the outside, it looks like a completely normal apartment. But on the inside...there are certain things hidden from the public's snooping eyes.

Tokiwa Nakamura
Age: 18
Height: 5'1
Blood Type: B
Race: Half-Oni
She comes from a very rich family. Quite sadistic... Likes to hurt people? Sarcastic. XD >.> Her parents are away on business trips often so she decides to move into an apartment. She is a 3rd year in highschool and doesn't have many friends.

Jun Kimura
Age: 21
Height: 5'7
Blood Type: A
Race: Tengu
He's cute. :3 In a chibi version b/c Tia and I wanted to draw something cute... He's Tokiwa's guardian. Touched easily. Cry-baby.

Tatsuya Fukuda
Age: 19
Height: 5'3
Blood Type: O
Race: Half-Fox Youkai/dog thing...
He's badass. YAY! A badass character. XD No really, he's a jerk sometimes and incredibly immature. And teases Tokiwa a lot. Dislikes sushi.
(by saiyukiluver)

images (1).jpg (7.99 KiB) Viewed 1223 times

Oihuro
Age: 24
Height: 5'5
Blood Type: B
Race: Vampire
He's a lazy bum who likes playing Dragon Age Origins. He's in college. Stuck with Tokiwa since she was a child.
(by lyeow)

Sora Izumi
Age: 18
Height: 4'10
Blood Type: O
Race: Human
She's human...but she has the power of the wind god. She likes clothes...clothes...and more clothes. Tokiwa's classmate. Goes to the same highschool is 3rd year. Has a major crush on Tatsuya.

Taiki
Age: 2 years.
Height: 1'4 (sitting)
Blood Type: For Pete's sake...it's a cat!
Race: Cat... >.>
He's a talking cat. And a bakeneko. Which is a cat that can change shape.(: He's Tokiwa's pet. ... cat ....

Yeah so...I'd really like to know what you think?
I still need a cover though. It's insanely annoying that I can't make a fancy logo/title. But somebody's working on it...i think.... think...
Thank you. XD

Rated 15+ for some violence and crude humor...language.

Progress:
Writing: 75%
Plot Outline: 100%
Programming: 2%
Sprite art: 20% (Haven't found a photoshopper and made enough poses. (6/15)
Background art: 5%
Logo: 0%
CG: 0%
Planned Release is: August 30, 2013 (Lots of work to do.)
Free game.

Team:
Writer: Myself
Backgrounds: Myself and Tia
Sprite art: Sketches: Tia... Actual artist: umm?
CG: hmmm....
Music: ehh...not sure.
Interface: We need you D:
That's all....XD

Tokiwa's cat. MeOw

[broken_angel]

Isn't this basically the plot of (and isn't the main character from) "Inu x Boku SS"? Though you gave the main character a different name, she looks and acts exactly like Ririchiyo from the anime/manga. Jun is also pretty similar to Soshi in appearance, personality, and relationship to the protagonist, even if he's a tengu instead of a fox demon.

I would suggest one of two courses of action:
1) State specifically that your game is a fangame, use the names and settings from the anime/manga, but put your own spin on it. Maybe add one or two original characters (but make sure they're original) and involve them in new situations.
Or...
2) Start over and create a new, completely original game idea. Maybe there's still an apartment for demons/supernatural beings, but take it in a completely different direction. Forget about the anime/manga and make a whole new cast of characters that don't resemble the original cast at all. Create a whole new premise and plot so far detached from the original work that you don't even recognize it.

Perhaps what you've tried to do is the second, but it doesn't come off as a truly original work at this point.

[Deji]

I also think this thread would be better off on the ideas forum, since you don't have character sprites or mock-up screenshots yet