Fury of the Thunder God[GXB][fantasy][mystery?][Hiatus]

[lilyrose]

"What do you mean?"
"Exactly what I said. Your father made a deal with me and now you're mine,
forever."

Yuriko is a normal girl. She's been to the nurse and hospital more times than she can count even though she's never been sick a day in her life. This is because her father died of unknown reasons and her mother is in the hospital with an incurable (and unknown) illness. As it turns out, the reason she's never been sick is because she holds Raiden's power. It's stored in the necklace her parents gave her when she was small. Now Raiden's come back for his power and something else.

demo:

windows

Fury of the Thunder God-1.0-win.zip

(26.51 MiB) Downloaded 79 times

mac

Fury of the Thunder God-1.0-mac.zip

(25.91 MiB) Downloaded 53 times

Linux

Fury of the Thunder God-1.0-linux.tar.bz2

(28.31 MiB) Downloaded 54 times

Sorry it's so short

Characters

Yuriko Kiyomizu
She's the main character and a pretty sarcastic girl. She's pretty with light blue eyes and hair. Due to a deal that her dad made with Raiden, she's now being hunted by him. But what did this power bring her? Who is she really?

Mayu Hara
Yuriko's best friend. She mostly acts like a mother hen whenever anything concerning Yuriko's health is at stake. She won't allow Yuriko to do anything that she thinks Yuriko's parents will disapprove of. She seems pretty clueless about the deal but is she really?

(recently changed)

Michiru Hashimoto
She just showed up on Yuriko's doorstep after her mother was taken to the hospital and said she was there to take care of her. Who is she really?

???
Not much is known about him. He seems to be looking out for Yuriko and shows himself only to her. Raiden doesn't seem to comprehend his presence at all either.

(image recently changed)

Tsuneo Kiyomizu
Yuriko's father. He made a deal with Raiden to save his wife and his unborn daughter. He died a couple of years afterwards.

Yuka Kiyomizu
Yuriko's mother. She's in the hospital with an incurable illness.

Raiden
The thunder god. He gave Tsuneo his power to save his wife with a condition. Now he's chasing after Yuriko.

screenshots

Any feedback you can give me will be great any constructive criticism or any comments are welcome. As for most of the stuff like the choice textbox and options screen, I know they are plain I'm planning on working on them a little later.
Thank you:)

[Aines445]

Since no one was commenting on this, I decided to give to do it myself, and give some criticism (I'm not that good at it, though)

Well I played the demo and a thing that I must say is that the art needs some improvement BADLY.For example the main menu could've looked really cool if the art were better (I can imagine it....So cool), and the sprites were not that good too (the colors really bugged me but you don't need to change them since they are part of the design).The story seemed to be good though, the way the demo ended made me want to know MOOOORE. WHATS GONNA HAPPEN NEXT? I WANNA KNOOOOOOOW.*ahem* <.< and I kind of liked the protagonist (lol I have the same deadly disease XD) and the fact that the menu was kind of plain...well...I can live with that. And it will have choices from what I've seen, so does that mean that there will be more than 1 obtainable guy?? (YES PLEASE!) I'm looking forward to that. To end this I must ask this though, Why did you name the thunder god Raiden? (This is from this post not the demo) It is bothering me (I have suspicions) its not a bad thing though, just asking.

Overall, I really want this game to be completed since I'm really curious about the rest of the story (Like REALLY) but I think you need to improve the art a little.(Wow so short...)

[lilyrose]

I'm not much of an artist ;p lols but I do plan to improve them a lot and I have already changed quiet a few of the settings like the menu choices and dialog box and such lols so hopefully it looks better. I'll keep on working on the title screen too. It was kind of a last minute thing lols. And yes, there is definitely more than one guy. In the original draft, I had 4 but I had (temporarily) cut 2 of them out. As for the name Raiden well, well I can't reveal too much since it'll spoil the game for you buuuuuuuut I got some of the story background from Japanese myths such as the thunder god Raiden. And the game wasn't originally supposed to be about him. Like I said, I can't say too much or it will spoil it but here's something to think about. That guy with the red hair? Yea well lets say the story was originally supposed to be about him... oh and for future reference the first name he gives you for himself is an alias lmfao XD When I change a few things and add a bit more to the story I'll put up a second demo And thank you for the feedback. It helped a lot

[Aines445]

I'm not much of an artist ;p lols but I do plan to improve them a lot and I have already changed quiet a few of the settings like the menu choices and dialog box and such lols so hopefully it looks better. I'll keep on working on the title screen too. It was kind of a last minute thing lols. And yes, there is definitely more than one guy. In the original draft, I had 4 but I had (temporarily) cut 2 of them out. As for the name Raiden well, well I can't reveal too much since it'll spoil the game for you buuuuuuuut I got some of the story background from Japanese myths such as the thunder god Raiden. And the game wasn't originally supposed to be about him. Like I said, I can't say too much or it will spoil it but here's something to think about. That guy with the red hair? Yea well lets say the story was originally supposed to be about him... oh and for future reference the first name he gives you for himself is an alias lmfao XD When I change a few things and add a bit more to the story I'll put up a second demo And thank you for the feedback. It helped a lot

Great that it helped because the post looked pretty lonely there and I thought it would be a shame if no one ended up playing this game since there are a lot of games that became really famous even with terrible art (touhou) so I felt compelled to say something. And if you are doing this by yourself then not being good at one thing is forgivable (besides art is about practice you can ALWAYS get better and one day you'll have all the bragging rights XD) And lol the title screen was a last minute thing?! (I thought it was the best piece of art in the game O.O) Though Its a nice thing to hear you are improving the art because there were some sprites that were bothering me.(especially the red guy.He ESPECIALLY bothered me.Im sorry its just that eye <.<) And YESSS theres more than one guy!!!I love variety....
*ahem* <.< Oh so the reason for the name Raiden must be really deep (Has no more suspicions) And I really only asked about that out of sheer curiosity I didn't initially think that it was about him (I kind of thought it was about Yuriko's parents or something) And hey...I did not have the slightest clue about the importance of the red guy *veeeery curiousss* *<.<* But no need to be spoiled about that (Since I don't want my curiosity to be completly destroyed)

Also...Sweet there will be a second demo (MORE CURIOUS<.<)

[lilyrose]

lols Yeeeeeeaaa I noticed it too after I went back and really looked at him and I fixed his eye......I think? lols and I do need to work on his pants lols (I suck at those) and really I can't wait to see your reaction when everything actually comes out because I'm planning on making this one of those games where you have to work to find out stuff but around the end it throws in HUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE twist lols and thank you again ~

[Aines445]

lols Yeeeeeeaaa I noticed it too after I went back and really looked at him and I fixed his eye......I think? lols and I do need to work on his pants lols (I suck at those) and really I can't wait to see your reaction when everything actually comes out because I'm planning on making this one of those games where you have to work to find out stuff but around the end it throws in HUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE twist lols and thank you again ~

LOL My reaction?? I'll probably die XD (in a good way...) And oooooh sounds like I'll have to expect the unexpected (I'm terrible at guessing twists so yeah XD) And I also am really forgetful (example: *reads a sentence in a visual novel* Ok! I totally got it! *reads next sentence* what was the other one again??? XD) so its gonna be a fuuuuuun ride

[lilyrose]

and thank you again for your advice

[Aines445]

and thank you again for your advice

Lol you're welcome now this will be like,first topic on the this forum so it MUST BE GIVEN SOME LOVE! XD Lol but yeah I'm gonna be stalking this (Ahahaha....<.<)


So do your bessssst!!

[lilyrose]

Well I was going to release the second demo but due to some unforeseen circumstances that is put on hold so I thought I would use that time to improve my sprites I only got one done so far and it's just a rough sketch but I thought ya'll would like to see it so here it is.
This is him before

and this is him now

(sometime later I finally finished coloring him and here he is)

please let me know what you think

(I also will be working on the other sprites)

[Aines445]

Well what do I think....

HOLY SH*T MUCH BETTER HOLY---

*ahem* That is much better! If the others will look like that when remade I'm expecting good things from this!Lol You FIXED that dude! Cause he kinda loked like a cyclop <.< Well NOW HE DOESNT! I now have some VERY NICE expectations on this!

Good luck!

And lol I decided to not quote since Its obvious to what I'm replying to.

[lilyrose]

lol thanx I'll try to make it live up to those expectations

[lilyrose]

bad news this game is now on hold sorry but for some reason whenever it comes to this game (no matter how many times i retype all of it) it still has a problem with the build distributions thing and i know it only applies to this game because i had a few projects i did when i was learning the ropes of renpy and i can build distributions with them but i can't with this one

good news is to occupy my spare time (until i get the other problem figured out) i will be working on a new project call Chemical Malfuntion: Project Saisha I already got it plotted out too so be looking out for it

[PyTom]

Can you zip up the game directory and post it, so I can see what's wrong?

[lilyrose]

yea here ya go (I had to split up the files T.T)
pt 1

game.part1.rar

(20 MiB) Downloaded 48 times

pt 2

game.part2.rar

(20 MiB) Downloaded 49 times

pt 3

game.part3.rar

(20 MiB) Downloaded 45 times

pt4

game.part4.rar

(20 MiB) Downloaded 56 times

pt5

game.part5.rar

(16.7 MiB) Downloaded 47 times