Tarnished Hearts [GxB][Scifi]

[Nym]

UPDATE: 2 Jan 2013
UPDATE: 6 Jan 2013
UPDATE: 16 Feb 2013

This project has been in the works for a while now, but I have just gotten around to making a WIP! This is a bizarre little otome-ish story I came up with in the fall, and it is quite silly! This is a first time VN for all of us, but we are not aiming high. We just hope to bring an entertaining story to life!



Right before our story begins, our dear MC (default name, Hero) is one of those girls who can never catch a break. The closest thing to romance she's ever experienced is BL fanfiction, and her best friend is now hanging out with the rich kids in a crazy attempt for a college scholarship. However, her life is turned upside down when she walks on a Ben, a cute, but strange, new student and Sho, an aloof and scary, but brilliant, classmate in a compromising position. It turns out that Ben is actually a robot disguised as a boy in order to learn how to adapt to human society and Sho is his inventor. When Hero is asked to help this robot learn emotions, she becomes caught up in a web of mysteries veiled by the past, childhood promises, confusion...maybe even love? Or is a giant evil computer with tentacles going to get in the way of their plans?


-2 obtainable boys
-approximately half hour runtime playthrough
-6 endings
-free!
-glorious 1366x768 resolution

Yay! First sprite! Our dear MC, Hero, is an introvert who loves to talk to herself. She is a closeted BL fan, and a little bit of a Japanese culture weaboo.

Marie is Sammy's best friend. An intelligent opportunist from a bad family background, her current goal is to befriend the daughter of a CEO, charm her parents, and get a college scholarship from them. Though actually a giant scifi nerd who usually walks around in jumpsuits, she cleans up nicely.

Julia is the said daughter of a rich CEO who Marie is trying to befriend. She is popular, talkative, a little boy-crazy, passive aggressive and naive. She has a crush on Ben.

We are still discussing the male characters, so we don't have any great sketches for you yet, but please enjoy our placeholders.

Benedict (aka H-83) is a robot. Disguised as a human and attempting to pass for one, he is easily confused, but remains cheerful and kind. He keeps hinting that they have met before, but Sammy can't remember.

Sho is a highly intelligent classmate of Sammy, and Ben's inventor. He is very father-like towards his creation, and is fairly quiet, intimidating and is highly respected by his fellow classmates, mostly out of fear. Sammy recognizes his face from somewhere...

Writing and BGs: Nym
Proofreading/Editing: Anon1203, Inhalance, PB&Jelly
Character Conception: harleesayshey
Character Sprites: Pyonkotchi
Programming: We need a new programmer! Please apply if you can help out!

Script: roughly 15% finished (3.5k)
Character Art and Sprites: 5%
CGs: 0%
GUI: 0%
Programming: 0%

We are looking for artists, writers, proofreaders, and anyone who think they can help out! Please PM me, or visit the recruitment thread! (Located here: http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... =18838)

[inhalance]

Ah, the art is cute! The placeholders for the female characters look nice as well. The robot looks cute too // Since it's your first VN, I wish you good luck, and I hope you will be able to finish this game.
Also, I am willing to proofread what you have for now. ^^

[gekiganwing]

It turns out that Ben is actually a robot disguised as a boy in order to learn how to adapt to human society and Sho is his inventor.

Can Ben easily pass as a human?

Also, in the universe of your story, how common are robots and other artificial beings? How easy is it to create a bipedal, functioning robot?

She is a...little bit nerdier what the picture suggests. Sammy is a introvert who loves to talk to herself. She is a closeted BL fan, and a little bit of a Japanese culture weaboo.

Even if you're not writing comedy, it's often good to have an imperfect main character. Giving her hobbies, quirks, and flaws can help make this character seem believable and human.

Julie is Sammy's best friend. An intelligent opportunist from a bad family background, her current goal is to befriend the daughter of a CEO, charm her parents, and get a college scholarship from them. Though actually a giant scifi nerd who usually walks around in jumpsuits, she cleans up nicely.

Is this is supposed to describe Marie? Your characters' names are a little confusing... I recommend making sure that one of the three girls has a name that does not end with an "ee" sound.

Anyway, it's good to know that your main character has at least one friend. I don't know if you have any interest in writing GxG, but even if you don't, I'm interested in their relationship.

[Nym]

It turns out that Ben is actually a robot disguised as a boy in order to learn how to adapt to human society and Sho is his inventor.

Can Ben easily pass as a human?

Also, in the universe of your story, how common are robots and other artificial beings? How easy is it to create a bipedal, functioning robot?

This question is raised actually quite early in the VN and plays a fairly major plot point. Ben is a prototype robot (how exactly he was created would be spoilers. ^^). Sentient robots are nearly unheard of it this universe and the industry for them is an infant industry. Ben fits in okay, but from time to time has trouble acting human.

She is a...little bit nerdier what the picture suggests. Sammy is a introvert who loves to talk to herself. She is a closeted BL fan, and a little bit of a Japanese culture weaboo.

Even if you're not writing comedy, it's often good to have an imperfect main character. Giving her hobbies, quirks, and flaws can help make this character seem believable and human.[/quote]

I am not really sure what the intended tone for this statement was, but I have had to modify the character to make her more likeable. She is extremely socially awkward (to the point where she has trouble making friends), but is too prideful to try to overcome it. She is not very smart, is often jealous of other people, blunt, forgetful and often delves too deep into her own fantasy. Her favorite hobbies often isolate her from really enjoying life. Haha, the first time I attempted to write her, she turned into this really unlikeable, bitter and angry person. I am trying to lighten up some of her flaws, and make her a lot funnier. I think I am doing okay.

Julie is Sammy's best friend. An intelligent opportunist from a bad family background, her current goal is to befriend the daughter of a CEO, charm her parents, and get a college scholarship from them. Though actually a giant scifi nerd who usually walks around in jumpsuits, she cleans up nicely.

Is this is supposed to describe Marie? Your characters' names are a little confusing... I recommend making sure that one of the three girls has a name that does not end with an "ee" sound.

Whoops, typo! (Will go edit in original post). I just noticed that...I originally had them have different names, and I think I am going to revert to those. Thanks for the tip!

Anyway, it's good to know that your main character has at least one friend. I don't know if you have any interest in writing GxG, but even if you don't, I'm interested in their relationship.

I am kinda sick of lonely protagonists, so I thought that having a good friend who shake things up. I am not planning for this VN to become a GxG (It is a fairly short game.), and I wanted a side character to root for. She is quite a fun character to write about, as she is nearly the opposite of the protag.

Ah, the art is cute! The placeholders for the female characters look nice as well. The robot looks cute too // Since it's your first VN, I wish you good luck, and I hope you will be able to finish this game. Also, I am willing to proofread what you have for now. ^^

Thank you so much! I am sure we will finish it eventually. I am going to need your offer! XD

[Nym]

I am excited to announce that the wonderful Pyonkotchi has joined as sprite artist, the cheery inhalance, and the lovely Anon1203 have joined the team as PR/Editor/Buttmonkey/CG artist.

A redesigned Hero by our new sprite artist, Pyon!


A freckle covered Marie!

[Nym]

First character sprite added to original post!
I am excited to announce that we have a new editor (and potential voice actor?) on staff, the talented PB&Jelly!

[SheerGlade]

I confess I was enraptured as soon as I read your description of the main character. The story sounds so whimsical and the characters so interesting; I'm definitely looking forward to it. Great design for Hero as well. Her sprite looks awesome.

Also...spiffy avatar, Nym. Gotta love Pinkie.

[Nym]

@Sheerglade Thanks so much! Pyon is a wonderful person to work with! I hope to fufill your expectations! Hehehe, Pinkie...I am a sucker for colorful cartoons. @_@

[DreamDragonHatchling]

Now imagine her lifting up a fallen pencil or anything else.... NO ONE IN THERE RIGHT MIND WEARS THAT SHORT SKIRTS.
I would understand if this is BxG (or a Hentai) game where every girl dresses like a ... I won't be using nasty words, but I hope you know what i meant.

The spirits is nice and i like her, but GOD, those short skirts. If i were her, i would feel uncomfortable, both because everyone could see my underwear and because every boy wold assume MC is easy going girl (not in the good way).

Other then that, i like her hair and skin color is nice too. And ayes mmmm green, nice tone. As a design MC looks original, haven seen other similar to this one. Like the nose!
Can't wait for boy spirits ^^

[Dougstyles]

Now imagine her lifting up a fallen pencil or anything else....

You have my thanks.

[Pyonkotchi]

i drew it like that bcuz i thought it was cute nothing more to it


solution

i always crouch like that to pick up anything and i dont even wear skits :\

[Nym]

XDD This conversation.
I personally thought it is really cute too, but I totally get your point. We were considering using the sprite as a side portait (like, waist up), so if the skirt bothers that much, we may go use that solution. However, thanks for the comment and I am glad that you look forward to the future development!

[Nym]

Update: NEW LOGO!
The project is progressing fairly slowly, but it is still active! Yay!

[SheerGlade]

...Going to pop in here even though the most recent post was in February. o.o

Made any more progress on it? You still got my support!