Square- Four Sides of a Shape. [slice-of-life]

[mirelle]

Let this thing be a side project while I wait for The [X] Story's main writer to stop being lazy. .A."

Intro:
"I've been hiding this for far too long, I know. I'm sure my twin sister is finding out about it already.

She had always been helping me since I was young, but for this case, she cannot help me. More like that I don't want to be helped on this.

My body is slowly weakening. The bitter end is already waiting for me. I have to find out..."


"...about who I really am."

Synopsis:

Play as Christopher, a junior high school student, through his normal school life with his rebellious, if not rather overprotective twin sister Evelyn- until at an unfortunate day, after P.E-- he felt ill and to his dismay, he's coughing up blood.

His family record never showed any illness like that, and he never recalled doing something terrible to affect his health-- how could this happen? More importantly, how would his sister react if she ever found out about it?

Someone from the next class is keeping a terribly close eye on him. This guy seemed to know something about Christopher that he doesn't know himself...

To add to the unfortunate formula, he kept bumping into a grade-schooler named Chloe, who always says the same thing whenever they bump into each other.

"You're the same as me..."


With his slowly deteoriating body, Christopher is determined to find out the connection between all of these sudden incident- and how he seemed to be at the center of this mess.

Questions:
-For a story like this, is it better to proceed with Christopher's point of view alone or provide viewpoints from another person?
-should there be any romance at all, since the plot seems so unfacilitating for that romance?
-what the hell of a genre is this? ;w;/

[suqling]

-For a story like this, is it better to proceed with Christopher's point of view alone or provide viewpoints from another person?
-should there be any romance at all, since the plot seems so unfacilitating for that romance?
-what the hell of a genre is this? ;w;/

I found the premise to be really compelling- not too original, but it promises a good story. I believe that this is a 'Slice of Life' story because it deals with realistic matters in a realistic setting. It's definately not a dating sim either but why can't you have Christopher chase after his romantic interests?

In a story like this though, time is an important factor as the main character's ill and trying to hide it from people. Therein is the emotion of tension and anxiety felt as a reader, so you want to play to this quality as much as you can through telling the story as Christopher himself. However it's mostly your judgement as a writer to determine which perspective of narration to take.. in the end you want to match the voice to the situation to be most effective to us readers.

Can't wait to see more development!

[DreamDragonHatchling]

hmm. This is good place where to put TRUE ENDING,
Like you can't find out all truth in one play trough, because time runs out and MC dies, but every time you player find out something important and then can piece all this together to get one TRUE ENDING and that can maybe even save MC life!

well that is what shot in my head...

[mirelle]

I found the premise to be really compelling- not too original, but it promises a good story. I believe that this is a 'Slice of Life' story because it deals with realistic matters in a realistic setting. It's definately not a dating sim either but why can't you have Christopher chase after his romantic interests?

In a story like this though, time is an important factor as the main character's ill and trying to hide it from people. Therein is the emotion of tension and anxiety felt as a reader, so you want to play to this quality as much as you can through telling the story as Christopher himself. However it's mostly your judgement as a writer to determine which perspective of narration to take.. in the end you want to match the voice to the situation to be most effective to us readers.

Can't wait to see more development!

Ah, thank you for such a quick reply! And such a detailed one as well. I'm really glad that you find the concept interesting!

The reason that I don't think I can write romance inside is that...
A. I don't know where to put that,
and B. I'm terribly inexperienced with romance, love and the likes, so there is a high probability of me screwing things up were I to throw in romance.
So yes, It's my fault. Everything. I beg your forgiveness.

Also thank you for the help on perspectives! It really gave me a hint on how to write the story up. I think I will mainly go on Christopher's side of the story, thanks a whole bunch!

hmm. This is good place where to put TRUE
ENDING,
Like you can't find out all truth in one play
trough, because time runs out and MC dies, but
every time you player find out something
important and then can piece all this together
to get one TRUE ENDING and that can maybe
even save MC life!
well that is what shot in my head...

What shot in your head was brilliant. If not of what you said, I would have made this a Kinetic Novel, hahahaha.

[DreamDragonHatchling]

Happy to save the day! XD Well i liked this kind of VN like ever17/never7/enzai/others had a TRUE ENDING, that could only be played when other endings were cleared (or something like that, unfortunately, i didn't have time to play all of them and I liked the endings i got, even if it weren't true endings)

Good thing that this will not be KN, i know that this kind of games, can have good story, but it there are no choices I will left out, just like a observer. I better read a book then play KN- but that is just my thoughts. I love VN just because you can shape how it will end, that is the best part.

Good luck.

p.s.

Someone from the next class is keeping a terribly close eye on him. This guy seemed to know something about Christopher that he doesn't know himself...

BxB? ;3 (me BxB addict) XD

[mirelle]

Happy to save the day! XD Well i liked this kind of VN like ever17/never7/enzai/others had a TRUE ENDING, that could only be played when other endings were cleared (or something like that, unfortunately, i didn't have time to play all of them and I liked the endings i got, even if it weren't true endings)

Good thing that this will not be KN, i know that this kind of games, can have good story, but it there are no choices I will left out, just like a observer. I better read a book then play KN- but that is just my thoughts. I love VN just because you can shape how it will end, that is the best part.

Good luck.

p.s.

Someone from the next class is keeping a terribly close eye on him. This guy seemed to know something about Christopher that he doesn't know himself...

BxB? ;3 (me BxB addict) XD

And you suuure did save the day. Though I won't make, like, a gazillion endings hahahahaha

And about the BxB, I don't know if pulling that off is possible due to my abysmal romance knowledge but mayyyybeeee I'll throw some hints if possible

(Out of the 3 charas, it's either incest, lolicon, or BxB... *sigh*)

[DreamDragonHatchling]

(Out of the 3 charas, it's either incest, lolicon, or BxB... *sigh*)

I don't envy you. Sound like hard material to chew.

BxB Best is to do research like real pro by reading Shounen Ai manga XD

lolicon is lolicon.... it mostly in men head, japanese men. In my thoughts lolicons are not too far from pedbears, but then again I'm a straight female so can't judge that.

incest[needed to look in dictionary XD first time seeing this word in english lol].... uh.. as far as i know, that can happen mostly because psychological trauma or both have lived all there life apart so thy don't have bond like normal brother and sister or sister and sister or brother and brother have. We have to be all our life to be remained that that is our sibling, and siblings are siblings. Its little strange, but if we wouldn't know that loving our siblings more then family members, that we might do it. Being disciplined by or society we know what is right so we block any thoughts in this matter, that loving or sibling more is out of question. In one why its like society is hypnotize us on that is right and what is wrong.

or minds are funny..

Like fake gays that don't know that thy are fake. If girl doesn't get mother love , like normal child gets, no matter what she does or mother hates her child, , girl will try's to find this love in other females. It isn't exactly love and this girls are... straight, but there psychological trauma thy got by absence of there mother love, thy try to fill this emptiness. This is not consciously, thy themselves don't know it.
for boys mostly, thy are traumatized by a women so far thy are afraid of having relationships with them. Thy may even not know that thy are afraid of women but thy can't think of them as love interest.
One thing is being born gay other is becoming one.



sorry by em... writing strange thins, i tend to start writing seriously, Since MC is dying- it demands serious look on things.

p.s.
sorry for bad, unreadable english. writing my thoughts and things i know in foreigner language is hard.

[Hijiri]

BxB Best is to do research like real pro by reading Shounen Ai manga XD .

About that BxB thing: shounen ai isn't a very good reference about gay relationships since they're usually stories written by straight women who just want to make two boys kiss. The best reference are gay people themselves, really.

[DreamDragonHatchling]

BxB Best is to do research like real pro by reading Shounen Ai manga XD .

About that BxB thing: shounen ai isn't a very good reference about gay relationships since they're usually stories written by straight women who just want to make two boys kiss. The best reference are gay people themselves, really.

Well i don't know, maybe it is easy for you to catch them on street and learn, but for me and most people reading manga is a bit easier.
It's nice if someone you know is gay and you can easy talk to him and learn, but that mostly is not the case.
If I want to write about astronauts I'm not going to become one or find one, i will read all i can find, and write that what i learned.

[Hijiri]

BxB Best is to do research like real pro by reading Shounen Ai manga XD .

About that BxB thing: shounen ai isn't a very good reference about gay relationships since they're usually stories written by straight women who just want to make two boys kiss. The best reference are gay people themselves, really.

Well i don't know, maybe it is easy for you to catch them on street and learn, but for me and most people reading manga is a bit easier.
It's nice if someone you know is gay and you can easy talk to him and learn, but that mostly is not the case.
If I want to write about astronauts I'm not going to become one or find one, i will read all i can find, and write that what i learned.

There are plenty of gay lifestyle blogs online, and some relationship advice ones as well. I'm just saying that most yaoi/bl/shounen ai aren't very good source of information because they're just heterosexual relationships but with the woman turned into a (ridiculously pretty and ridiculously submissive) man. (The again, manga shouldn't ever be used as a reference for any kind of relationship.)

[mirelle]

E-eh, uhm.
After reading all of this, I don't think I want to write that romance because of my horrible lack of experience. Sob.

[RunicV]

Well, if you don't want to write romance, you could always just tease. XD Just make the character go out of the way for the person, always help them out, treat them special, compliment them, admire them openly and say they like their guts/honesty/idkwhatever, but never actually make them say they like them.

It's evil but hey it works. 8D

[mirelle]

Thanks a lot for explaining how to pull that one off! You have a lot of my gratitude.

By the way, most of the music will be from Kommisar's chiptunes, because I'm somewhat of his fan.

[mirelle]

time to show some progress since test month is approaching and I'll be busy at that time...
Done with a part of Evelyn's sprite (the one in the freebie thread)
Started sketching CGs....
and gathered sources for backgrounds- next step is to stylize them beyond recognition.
also worked on a GUI mock-up. simple, but I personally love it

[Ran08]

I think it's pretty nice. However in the pic above umm... err... I think it's just me but... isn't it a bit too messy? Like all those boxes? They look kinda untidy to me. But if you love it personally, there's no problem! It's okay. Hahaha. Just my thoughts. :3