[Swan Grimoire] Character Feedback

[Auro-Cyanide]

Hello everyone

As some may know, Camille and I have started pre-production on Swan Grimoire, which is an otome game (that I have been dying to do for over 2 years). This obviously gives us a long concepting phase since we are still working on BCM. The reason we have started now is to give ourselves a good opportunity to experiment and think over different elements without any pressure to move further with it. It gives us time to consider our options and let things sit for a while before looking at them again. Hopefully this process will result in better production decisions. At least, that is what we are going for.

I'm doing initial concepts for characters here and there, some of which I have already shown. I haven't really had the opportunity to properly ask for feedback before, since usually work is complete by the time I have shown it or there have been close deadlines. This time round though I can actually ask in this phase, and so it's a lot easier to take on suggestions and make changes. That is why I am opening this thread. As I make sketches of the characters I will put them up here and I would love to hear feedback. What you think when you see the character, what you think needs to be changed, what you do and don't like, what you think of the style, if I'm constantly making the same mistake etc. Whatever thought you wish to share I would love to have *u*

You can read a bit about the plot in the second half of this blog post (convenient that Camille wrote that up today).

These were the very beginning sketches I came up with to record some visual ideas down and to make notes of what type of things I wanted to look up. This was before we even discussed the characters, so only some of them are turning up in any form.

And without further ado, I introduce the first character that is starting to be rounded out.

This is our protagonist, a Witch anmed Azalea. As Camille would put it "Our witch is a sarcastic, intelligent little spitfire and no love interest—no matter how dashing—will be able to change that."




Let me know what you think!

I'll be putting up the guys as I get them done, starting with one by the name of Fakhri~

[azureXtwilight]

You know, I support this design a lot! All the heroines I've seen so far are super-slim and tiny that I wanted to see something different for a change... And she looks rather unique too! So yes! Continue on, please!

[chocojax]

She does look like her character description, especially in the first/fully colored image. (probably someone that I'd be kinda scared of, haha. orz)

Just a curiosity question, why does she have feathers in her hair? Is it just for decorative purposes, or does it have a deeper meaning?! :0

[Auro-Cyanide]

@Azure, Thank you I originally sketched her as being small and skinny, but then I decided I really should try something different, and I think this suits her a lot more. I want to try expanding my body types so I'm not always drawing the same thing :B I really wanted her to come across as a different type of main character, especially since our game will be aimed at 20+ year olds.

@Choco, Thank you She can be a little scary, but she is very good natured.
The feathers don't really have strong signifigance just yet, but that isn't to say they won't. Since we haven't nutted out many details there is a good chance the drawings will effect the story, and later the story will effect the drawings. Righ now I added them because in my mind she is the daughter of a Hearth Witch, and while she isn't it's affected the way she was brought up. She has a strong affinity with nature, a down to earth personality that doesn't mind getting her hands dirty and excellent cooking skills. I wanted to give her a natural look, which is why I gave her the wild hair and freckles, and the feathers striked me as something she would add because she thought they were pretty.

[dramspringfeald]

Ooo Pretty, Keep it up. It's so hard finding healthy characters.

[latte]

I absolutely adore the witch's appearance and the style you've used for her, it's hard to find a single concept picture that conveys personality so well. The guys also look really good. Keep it up!

[CaseyLoufek]

Wow. The main character looks awesome and the male concepts look good too. I'm also very intrigued by the plot summary. This game sounds like it's going to have a lot going for it.

[Arelune]

Are those moles/freckles I see on her arms and legs? Yessss.
And it's not a redhead!
I quite like the design, I agree with Azure about digging the different body type. Looking at the concepts sketch, I'm glad you changed her somewhat, she looks better now.

[Deji]

She comes as a bit of a shock, being used to tiny skinny heroines... but it's a good shock! I'm glad people are starting to actively draw different body types for girls (I'm slowly trying to do that myself, but it's hard to break the old habits!)

I'm also one of the people who'd feel intimidated by her, though, haha x'D

[Auro-Cyanide]

I'm very happy her design is going down well and everyone is very positive towards having more variation in shapes. It's very exciting!

@Arelune, she was probably close to being a red head XD I love drawing red haired woman, but I've already done Lina and I think brown hair suits her earthy nature. The freckles are very cute I think and I'm glad I changed her a bit

@Deji, I have the same problem >_> That's why I'm going to try hard with this game to try and mix it up a bit and break some habits. I tend to default terribly and I think I'm missing out on a lot of fun designs because of it. It's good that she comes off a bit intimidating, some of the guys aren't exactly push overs and she'll need to stand on even ground with them. I should be so fun to do \(^o^)/

[Auro-Cyanide]

Now, for the next update, I introduce Fakhri.

He is a descendent of royalty from the far south. Because of his connections with his homeland, he is able to procure rare and exotic goods no-one else can. One of his most popular acquisitions is a vivid blue dye, the like of which has never been seen on the continent. Due to it's cost and rarity, it's become a symbol of status and nobles buy the blue cloth whenever they can. While a noble, Fakhri loves the business game. He is very wealthy and extremely charismatic.

The above is just me rambling, so everything is subject to change. I would love to hear what people think of him. Fakhri is one of Camille's otherwise he probably would have ended up with facial hair... seriously, it's probably the one thing we disagree about being hot and he resides in the city.

[Geckos]

I agree that she looks better now than she did in her original concept sketch (the flat toned image). It was a good choice to try a larger body type.

I really enjoy Fakhri's color scheme; the subtle high lights are very nice. His smile is quite charming. That is also my favorite skin tone of all time. :O

On a side note, I hope you don't mind my nitpicking but his right leg is a bit short in comparison with his other leg. I did a quick red line to show you what I mean.

The little design on the end of his..scarf...belt..thing is great
Looking forward to seeing more.

[15385bic]

fakhri looks like he's a lady's man XD

i love all the character designs *Q*
and the mc seems like a bubbly and interesting person - hurray for freckles and curly hair XD

my fav type character so far....archer =D

[Auro-Cyanide]

@Geckos, Ah, so that is what it was. I though it looked off, but then I just ended up shortening his foot XD Thanks for pointing it out. That's also a much more effective form of measuring... sure beats me folding my fingers up to the screen. Gah, I'm stupid sometimes.

@15385bic

He's definitely a ladies man all right. I imagine it goes something like this:

Fakhri: My mother told me many stories about the witches of this land, but none mentioned they were quite so beautiful.
Witch: Well, my mother also told me stories about men like you. It never ended well for them.

She is taking none of his shit today. She also desperately needs a name...

I'm looking forward to doing the archer (his name is Rowan). He probably isn't going to change a great deal since I'm pretty happy with him.

[AshenhartKrie]

The guy that stands next to the witch in the concept art looks like Grell.... XD
Grell appear everywhere. No one is safe....
I really like the concept of this - and your art.
Art so purdy~
I think a name that starts with an A or a T would suit her.
-Azalea
-Theresa (seriously... what is it with me and the name Theresa).
-Aelinor
-Terinna
I could keep going XD
There's a really cool blog somewhere with all these unusual names, but I always forget what it's called. D:
Also I'm going to do something kinda strange here..... Why Maya, why?!?!??! Feel free to ignore me throwing my help hindrance at you.
I was brought up in Wiccan tradition... so I kinda know a bit about this stuff. I know most people like to do their own research or invent things themself.... but hey! Walking almost-wikipedia here.... take advantage of me!
-ahem- anyway, I won't encroach on your creativity, but I'll just throw some ideas around.
Feathers can be used in rituals to call the element of air - which is attuned to the east. (North is Earth, Sout is Fire, and West is Water), so maybe she keeps them in her hair for when she's doing a spell or something.
Or maybe a spirit animal or guide is some kind of bird.
Umm....
I'm going to stop right about now before I overwhelm you.
ANYWAY!
Also, even though I'm a teenager in high school, I'm much more mature than most of my cohorts, and this game does appeal to me, especially becuase there are no sparkles. YAY!

And anyway.
Seriously.
Sorry for random 'helping'.
Good luck.