Rituali Tenebris - The Ritual of Darkness (tiny demo)

[Viniciuskk]

Hi guys, the other day, I posted this story's summary here (http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 47&t=19452), and decided to make a very short demo for the first chapter. It should take you about 8 minutes or less to finish it. I hope you guys like it

This is a story I wrote a year ago, so tell me if it's too cliché, if it's worth continuing or not (But first, read the summary I made!)

I created single handedly this demo in a day, so be nice in the critiques

(There is a misspelling in it: "InterVEW" instead of "intervIew", sorry about that.)
The credits are in the end of the game.


P.S: I need to rewrite this first chapter... Things happen way too fast... Any ideas?

P.S.S: Forgot to include in the game's credits, but images are from Google, and I edited them to look like drawings.

Link of download:

http://www.mediafire.com/?kimlb6fzto4n11o

[lollia]

Hi there! Thought I would try out your game as I had a spare half an hour. It's my first time doing this so let me know if I don't feedback anything I should have!

Little things like...
Spelling: It compresses me with great strenght (should be strength).
Missing word: I hurriedly pick everything up, and throw it inside my car.

The music after the explosion should probably be different to the first bit. It makes it seem really domestic still, if that makes sense? (But I understand you made this quickly so, no worries!)

The name colour should probably be something a bit easier to read, sometimes the pictures obscured it a bit.

I liked the pace and the story in it so far. Perhaps add a bit of background to the character? Like when she gets up she could reflect on her job / school / where she lives etc. I would love to see this finished

Feel free to ask me about anything in particular you would like feedback on.

[Viniciuskk]

Thanks for the reply!

The word "Strength" is my biggest "flaw". I always mess it up for some reason...

And yes, you're right. I completely forgot to add her thoughts about job/friends, but I'll add those later, when she's rescued. Mainly because the town she is in (Silverpine), doesn't have anyone of much importance in her life (She had moved there a few months before). Only coworkers. Her hometown, Grutsville, is where her family and friends live.

By "name color" , do you mean, "Kathleen" in blue whenever she speaks? I didn't have that problem when I read through it

As for the music, it took me a looooooooooong time to find that piano one, and I didn't manage to find another ambiet song suitable for more action packed scenes (or even a creepy one), so since it was taking too much time, I decided to leave it like that :>

[lollia]

Don't worry about it, spelling is hardly my strong point. I loved the introduction of spell checker/google checking in my life

Fair enough, I would do it in a similar way

Yes, indeed. I have to have my screen brightness low otherwise I get a major headache, so yes it is a bit difficult to read. I can still make out the letters, it just takes a bit of effort.

I thought as much ~!

[Viniciuskk]

I see. I'll use a little brighter colors now :>