NaNoRenO is an event where creators make a game from scratch during the month of March.
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arachni42
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#31
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by arachni42 » Sat Apr 06, 2013 3:21 pm
Donmai wrote:
"They are ugly and stinky, they pollute the water with their droppings and they exterminate the animals we like to hunt." Who would imagine, at that point, that those creatures could be human beings?
I did like that.
I'm done with my own comments -- I'll PM you.
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Donmai
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#32
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by Donmai » Sat Apr 06, 2013 6:19 pm
Thank you arachni. Based on what pwisaguacate and saguaro told me, I made some modifications to the "human ending" that I believe will help to clarify many things.
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ririruetoo
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#33
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by ririruetoo » Sun Apr 07, 2013 1:36 am
I have a question on how to play this, I've downloaded the game, but all that is in the game file is a MPlayer Audio File...
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pwisaguacate
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#34
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by pwisaguacate » Sun Apr 07, 2013 6:48 am
ririruetoo wrote:I have a question on how to play this, I've downloaded the game, but all that is in the game file is a MPlayer Audio File...
He posted the game somewhere down the first page (8th post) as an attachment. Here's a quick link:
Lil Red-1.0-all.zip
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Donmai
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#35
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by Donmai » Sun Apr 07, 2013 7:51 am
Oops! My fault!
Thank you pwisaguacate! I should have moved that link to the first post.
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Donmai
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#36
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by Donmai » Sun Apr 07, 2013 10:05 pm
I have updated the download link with a new version that includes several modifications that I have done based on the comments made here. It also includes arachni's suggestions and corrections to the text (she did a very wonderful job, I must say!
). I am now waiting for pwisaguacate's verdict on the grammar department.
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pwisaguacate
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#37
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by pwisaguacate » Sun Apr 07, 2013 11:42 pm
Ahh, I was almost done! I will have to come back in a few hours to finish it. By then I will send a PM.
I see you added to the human ending, but I think unnecessary length was added (now longer than wolf ending and weird-ish[?]). I came up with a simpler way to explain the father's reasoning. Sit tight.
EDIT: PM sent. Now we're even closer to finishing.
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Donmai
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#38
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by Donmai » Mon Apr 08, 2013 8:42 am
pwisaguacate wrote:I see you added to the human ending, but I think unnecessary length was added (now longer than wolf ending and weird-ish[?]).
No surprise here!
Donmai wrote:Yes, I admit the reasons the human father had to not tell the story to his son when he was younger are more subtle, and I just could not find a way to make them more clear without extending the story too much.
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