Angelic Sonata Demo(Need beta tester, preferably Mac users)

[SargentJY]

Hi this is SargentJY of game group Amber Clover. Angelic Sonata is our first visual novel and we finished its demo some time ago. We have provide downloads through DeviantArt and Ren'py website, but recently got friendly notified that here is the better community to share your work and get feedback.

Angelic Sonata is a really typical ren'ai visual novel that happens in Okinawa. Naoto, the main character and normal high schooler(see, I said it is typical), found a girl asleep on a tree on his way back home. After carrying her back home and wait her to wake up, he realize this girl lost her memory. As the result, the family decide to let her stay till they can find her family. Thus the story begins.


The game is made by Ren'py and the demo covers the first two chapter. There are some test players who reflect about the wording or grammatical issue in the script(English aren't our first language, thus this outcome), we have corrected them through time, but would hope to get more comments from you guys to make it better. Also, there has been issue of it running on Apple, which might be because this game is developed on Windows and apparently there are some compatibility issue. The last test with Mac users reflects it works, but it might be safer if we can get more of such report.


You can download the game files through:
Demo Link
Or check our DA page through:
DA Page

Thank you, and we look forward to your feedback :3

[gekiganwing]

Unfortunately, I don't have a current Mac computer. Just a few thoughts in terms of story feedback:

* So your main character considers himself average and boring. Maybe that's true... or maybe it isn't. I think you'll benefit by giving him at least one interesting trait or ability. Or at least let someone give him an unexpected compliment.

* If you give the player a choice, then it should probably mean something. To be more specific, if the player decides that Naoto should not bring the girl down from the tree, then it should not have the same result as getting her down from the tree right away. (You could have him walk away and return to the scene due to a change in circumstances. Or use Ren'py variables, and give the player a negative point for hesitation, or a positive point for not rushing in.)

* So the main character's mom is not bothered by the presence of an unfamiliar girl in her house. This might be necessary in order for your story to happen. And maybe the mother knows that "Shiori" is not actually human. Unless that's a safe assumption, I would expect Naoto's mother to think that this girl is a normal person who's a runaway, or a recent case of trauma. If the mother isn't Someone who doesn't immediately think Shiori is an angel or a fairy should calling the police and trying to figure out her identity.

[Duskylli]

Heya SargentJY!

I'm a Mac user. It works fine on Mac OS X version 10.6.3. I didn't pay too much attention to grammar but I did pick up a few errors at the start of chapter 2.

Six hours have passed, but the girl shows no signs of waking up. Feeling bored I pick up a novel I have reread a couple of times.

There was also something else weird but I'll have to replay. Is there anything else you need feedback on? Hope that helps.

[SargentJY]

Unfortunately, I don't have a current Mac computer. Just a few thoughts in terms of story feedback:

* So your main character considers himself average and boring. Maybe that's true... or maybe it isn't. I think you'll benefit by giving him at least one interesting trait or ability. Or at least let someone give him an unexpected compliment.

* If you give the player a choice, then it should probably mean something. To be more specific, if the player decides that Naoto should not bring the girl down from the tree, then it should not have the same result as getting her down from the tree right away. (You could have him walk away and return to the scene due to a change in circumstances. Or use Ren'py variables, and give the player a negative point for hesitation, or a positive point for not rushing in.)

* So the main character's mom is not bothered by the presence of an unfamiliar girl in her house. This might be necessary in order for your story to happen. And maybe the mother knows that "Shiori" is not actually human. Unless that's a safe assumption, I would expect Naoto's mother to think that this girl is a normal person who's a runaway, or a recent case of trauma. If the mother isn't Someone who doesn't immediately think Shiori is an angel or a fairy should calling the police and trying to figure out her identity.

Thanks for your suggestion on plot, allow me to provide some explanation:
1) The concept of Naoto is essentially a normal human being like you and me and I try to let the player decide Naoto's trait in action. There are also side character in the story that will help you understand some traits of Naoto better.
2) The first choice, despite having the same outcome in plot, does influence the point system, thus making specific choice make you gain or lose point that will affect your ending.
3) Naoto's mom does find the police to search for Shiori's family, which would be mentioned right at the beginning of chapter 3.

Hope these explanation helps :3

[philip]

Hi - Just came across this, I have a Mac, running OS X v10.6.8. Downloaded the demo and ran through it quickly, it works just fine. Looks like it will be an interesting game; I look forward to its completion!

[Puchin]

I'm downloading it (using Mac).

As long as I give it a try, I will tell you my opinion. How long does it take to finish de demo? I want to start and finish in one round, so some I would like to know how much I'm going to need before hand

[SelLi]

I haven't played the game yet, but you introducing a piece of work which you worked on as average, though humble, doesn't make me want to play it. You don't have to "sell it" to me, but just don't put it down. Just give it a good description.

[SargentJY]

I'm downloading it (using Mac).

As long as I give it a try, I will tell you my opinion. How long does it take to finish de demo? I want to start and finish in one round, so some I would like to know how much I'm going to need before hand

Sorry for the late response, but in case you haven't noticed the demo shouldn't take you more than half, at most one, hour to clear. Our sole purpose for this demo is just to give you a taste what the game would be like.

[philip]

Any progress toward completion of this story? It has been a year since the last post by SargentJY. It has an interesting beginning, and I would very much like to see the rest.

philip

[SargentJY]

Any progress toward completion of this story? It has been a year since the last post by SargentJY. It has an interesting beginning, and I would very much like to see the rest.

philip

My apology for the late response. The game production has been taking a break due to one of the main artists serving obligatory Taiwanese military. Though the good news is, he is back now and we are thinking re-initiating the project once again.

[philip]

Thank you for your reply. I do hope that you and your team will be able to compete this project!

philip

[philip]

Any progress to report?

philip