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owlcity89
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Last edited by Taleweaver on Mon Jun 03, 2013 2:48 am, edited 2 times in total.
Reason: Opening posts should not be entirely deleted
Reason: Opening posts should not be entirely deleted
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merdeamour
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Re: Schein [Adventure, Psych-Thriller, Romance] [KN]
I think this should be posted in the WiP...The WiP NaNoReno is for the games in progress for the NaNoReno that happens in March (:
The word choice 'broke' is kinda, um, weird. Just an observation, though. Also, why would she be 'outraged' at everyone, as you put it? Did you mean 'everyone' to mean everyone in general, or just the family she hates? (It's just that I think it'd be weird to be outraged at Jae's other friends and her family... unless her parents haven't noticed that she's gone/aren't making an effort to find her.)
The concept's pretty interesting, although the 'transported-to-another-dimension' story is one that's been done many times over. I'm interested to see how this goes (:
The word choice 'broke' is kinda, um, weird. Just an observation, though. Also, why would she be 'outraged' at everyone, as you put it? Did you mean 'everyone' to mean everyone in general, or just the family she hates? (It's just that I think it'd be weird to be outraged at Jae's other friends and her family... unless her parents haven't noticed that she's gone/aren't making an effort to find her.)
The concept's pretty interesting, although the 'transported-to-another-dimension' story is one that's been done many times over. I'm interested to see how this goes (:
What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?
-Vincent van Gogh
I manage a blog, Another Otome Diary where I give my two cents on otomes I've played. Check it out, or let me know if you want a game of yours reviewed!-
owlcity89
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- Posts: 16
- Joined: Sun Nov 25, 2012 3:35 am
- Projects: Schein, Finding My Wings
- Location: Arizona, US
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Re: Schein [Adventure, Psych-Thriller, Romance] [KN]
Thank you for your constructive criticism and thank you for telling me I am in the wrong WIP thread! Never trust a quick link I guess.
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