Someone perfect (Need feedback)

[alberte]

So since I'm not good at making demos right now I have a script of a Vn that i'm making.
Please help me with feedback good and or bad.
Be critical if you want, it won't offend me.
here's the link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-Vg ... sp=sharing

[CheeryMoya]

I only got to the 7th page or so, but your script right now is very rough. With a bit of polish it would be your generic Japanese love story (set in high school? They were talking about going back to school). It's been done so many times, and unless something out of the usual happens, it'll just be another one of those kinds of stories. While not inherently bad, you're going to have a tough time standing out from the crowd since you're up against a lot more competition. If you don't want to change the setting of your story, you'll need to find a way to make this story special.