White Box [Romance, Tragedy]

[ebi-hime]

White Box

A young girl lies in a hospital bed. Diagnosed with a terminal illness, all she can do is wait patiently for her life to end. Alone and isolated, she has nobody to turn to in her final months - other than her own doctor. So begins their hopeless love story; doomed from the very start.

A rather short and gloomy visual novel (about 18,000 words) about doomed love.
Also, you might be interested to know, I literally wrote/put together the whole thing in three days. So, that's something? XD







Either way, I hope you enjoy it, if you do want to check it out!

Download for windows here: http://www.mediafire.com/download/ar4ge ... .0-win.zip
If you want to look at my tumblr, where I post about what VNs I am making, you can look here: http://ebi-hime.tumblr.com/ ~

[Takkun]

Sounds like a very tragic story. I have always loved sad stories like this so I'll definitely download and play this game ^_^ l'll tell you what I think about your game after I've played it =w=

[Anne]

I like your writing. I wonder if you are planning to do a bigger project?
And I liked the textbox, fits really well (kind of sets the mood even).

[Nekobiker]

Just finished it, and I must say, I liked the writing quite a bit; it had quality. Using silhouettes really helped to divert the reader's attention to the writing itself, and also helped create a somber atmosphere.

Although, revealing the sprites in the end ruined it a bit. I think the characters would have benefitted from staying faceless, and therefore more ambiguous, in this case.

Overall it was an enjoyable read. Keep up the good work!

[nefferinthia]

I really liked the premise of your visual novel, and I think the story felt rather real. I love your writing style! It feels very natural, I especially love the way that it's obvious this is set in Japan without it being thrown in your face or using 'sensei' or whatever. Props! I do agree with the above poster on the sprites though. Using stock sprites bothers me a little, especially when I've seen them used multiple times. It breaks the immersion, and makes characters feel less unique. Using the silhouettes, I think, was a great way to circumvent that a little. Then the "reveal" kind of ruined that.

To be honest, I kind of disliked how it ended on such a happy note. As the whole story was rather melancholy and depressing, to end it there just didn't seem right to me. Of course, it's your story, and I still thought it was a lovely story.

There's a few typos here and there by the way, you might want to clear that up.

[BeforeThePrologue]

I loved this so much, I actually cried a little. I can't wait to see more from you.

[KanukoBlue1236]

I read it and i realized something as soon as i saw it. do u have the app Love Academy? if u do, i'm sure that u used Momoka as one of the girls! XD
also, the story was really emotional and u wrote it well. i cried a bit and then i may have gotten off track and started doing acting practices for fake crying. which i can do pretty well already but ur story helped with it a lot

[buttdumpling]

oh man, I cried through the WHOLE THING !!
the writing was really good, and I think you described the emotions the main character was going through really excellently. And the way you kept her disease vague but added in the effect her symptoms had on her really added to the story without becoming an exercise in a medical pamphlet.

I will say that I didn't really like the stock reveal at the end, but I *did* like how the story itself ended. That was a really good angst ;o;

[4kashiro]

I already played this a while ago, but just made an account now so i can finally comment on it.
I can only agree that the story was very well written and it is quite amazing that you put it together in 3 days.
I think i cried somewhere near the end...


And i liked that you could only see the characters silhouettes,
i was not so happy that you revealed how they really look at the end.
All in all i really enjoyed this more than i expected to!

[aaliyah31902]

I love this game!! <3 It is so sad... O.O
I almost cried... (Tbh, I don't cry because of sadness..)
It was beautiful!!!

............

(Did she die in the end....?)

............

Oh and guess what?
I listened to a song that I had on repeat for a few days and..
It reminded me of White Box...
Now this song is even more sad then ever....
The song is called 'Vivi'.
(I listen to the English version by Road.)
Anyone who loves White Box should check that song out...
O.O

[aaliyah31902]

I really liked the premise of your visual novel, and I think the story felt rather real. I love your writing style! It feels very natural, I especially love the way that it's obvious this is set in Japan without it being thrown in your face or using 'sensei' or whatever. Props! I do agree with the above poster on the sprites though. Using stock sprites bothers me a little, especially when I've seen them used multiple times. It breaks the immersion, and makes characters feel less unique. Using the silhouettes, I think, was a great way to circumvent that a little. Then the "reveal" kind of ruined that.

To be honest, I kind of disliked how it ended on such a happy note. As the whole story was rather melancholy and depressing, to end it there just didn't seem right to me. Of course, it's your story, and I still thought it was a lovely story.

There's a few typos here and there by the way, you might want to clear that up.

-----

What are stock sprites? (I'm new here..)
Yeah.. I guess that the end was kinda happy but I feel like that she died in the end... o.o
What do you think?

[ebi-hime]

What are stock sprites? (I'm new here..)
Yeah.. I guess that the end was kinda happy but I feel like that she died in the end... o.o
What do you think?

Um, stock sprites are ones that are free for use, that anyone can use them for their projects. Sprites that are not made specially for one particular VN. The stock sprites that I used in White Box are really popular, and have been used in loads and loads of other EVNs, haha XD So if you have seen them a lot before, I guess it would be kind of tiring to see them again in another story XD
I think I might remake this game at some point, with a proper spellcheck, different sprites (maybe) and better GUI...

I like being vague about things on purpose, since it opens up more discussion or room for personal opinion... So feel free to think what you want about the ending.
Although I do enjoy writing depressing things that upset people, haha XD

[Ghost-Rain]

Wow. I think there were tears in my eyes in the whole second half. I really liked that the protagonist wasn't just going to lay down and die (for the most part). I guess I can relate to the 'brat' part of her. Most characters aren't quite that strong willed and blunt, and I liked that she was, especially given her situation.

But oh the little sister. ...I have little sisters, so I had to think a bit after finishing this.

Ooh, I just noticed that you also made 'The Way We All Go' Ah...where's that walk-through again...I need to find it. I think I got the majority of the endings for that VN though. You are really great at making these kind of visual novels though. It's not all dialogue, the details are really immersing without droning on and on about unnecessary parts. I really like your writing style overall.

[ebi-hime]

Wow. I think there were tears in my eyes in the whole second half. I really liked that the protagonist wasn't just going to lay down and die (for the most part). I guess I can relate to the 'brat' part of her. Most characters aren't quite that strong willed and blunt, and I liked that she was, especially given her situation.

But oh the little sister. ...I have little sisters, so I had to think a bit after finishing this.

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!
I love to write sad things haha XD
I feel like I only write things are really depressing or things that are really ridiculous...
Yes, the poor heroine is in a bad mood for most of the story. Mainly because she's been in hospital for so very long.

Ooh, I just noticed that you also made 'The Way We All Go' Ah...where's that walk-through again...I need to find it. I think I got the majority of the endings for that VN though. You are really great at making these kind of visual novels though. It's not all dialogue, the details are really immersing without droning on and on about unnecessary parts. I really like your writing style overall.

Yes, I wrote that too!
Um, the walkthrough for it is here.
I needed to rely on the walkthrough myself, since there are so many choices... I kept getting lost when trying to edit my own story, and forgot what choices to make to get to certain endings XD

I like writing dialogue a lot, but I think I'm not very good at describing environments... So writing VNs feels kind of logical to me. Or, I think it makes the best use of my abilities as an author.

[sugaryday]

Hello! The story and all seems very interesting, but I was wondering if there will be a Mac version as well?