Two Steps Back

[WhiteMageChiu]

Hello everyone! @w@ I'm brand new here~ Nice to meet you all!
I've recently created a rough draft of a visual novel!

It's completely playable start to finish, the visuals just aren't all finished, and I think it could use more audio work as well.
But as for a first attempt I'm quite proud of it!!

It's called [Two Steps Back] and in it you play as a young woman named Therese who wakes up in a strange place she's never seen before. Things get even stranger when a boy she's never met shows up and claims to know her and what's going on...
It's a mystery adventure with a surprise [?] ending! See if you can make it out and free them both!

Everything you see/hear was done by me, save for a few free sound effects I found @w@
I'd love to know what you think! Especially about the ending ;D

PC: http://www.mediafire.com/download/4z8dw ... .0-win.zip

MAC: http://www.mediafire.com/download/8bx90 ... .0-mac.zip

Thank you so much for taking the time to look <3
And I really really hope you can enjoy it even just a little ; w ;

[fleet]

Congratulations on finishing a draft. Many people don't get that far.
You MIGHT want to add a bit of information to your first post (like a sentence or two on what the story is about).

[WhiteMageChiu]

Ah! Thank you very much for the advice! @m@;;; I'll do so now <3

[Hazel-Bun]

I'll be downloading this soon and giving feedback ^^ Followed this on tumblr and congrats for getting a demo out! I'll edit this post then and welcome to the forums.

Here are some quick thoughts I jotted down and then expanded upon afterwards :0 I thought this game was very cool so far and hope you continue it to completion!

OMG This scared the ba-jeezuhs out of me!! The music and SFX(s) were very fitting and lol I'm too much of a scaredy cat to be playing this at night. I also though the sketchy look was befitting of a dream sequence once that was revealed. That plus the cool little turn Theresa did at the beginning with the use of the back sprite flipping forward and so on. The premise itself is also rather surreal and out there which is right up my alley I loved the overall creepiness and what if questions this demo raised and it kept me on my toes and reading!

Some negatives was the relative ease Theresa accepted everything was a dream at first. Maybe just a little extra "No way!" or something would help that. The resolution is a little small for my taste so it made the sprites feel squished. Might benefit with a little more customization (A ren'py game changed to Two Steps Back on the top, icons, opening screen music, etc.) but it's a demo so I expected that! The sprites themselves looked a little wacky some emotions/poses but I'm just going to chalk that up to demo art ^^ Some awkward phrasing in the beginning such as my hands convulsed instead of shook was also a little strange.

[WhiteMageChiu]

I'll be downloading this soon and giving feedback ^^ Followed this on tumblr and congrats for getting a demo out! I'll edit this post then and welcome to the fourms.

Ah! Thank you so so much! I really appreciate the support! <3
//waits patiently

[VocaloidsRCool]

Um, it goes back to the beginning of the game after that creature kills Therese. Is that supposed to happen? I really like Eldin. He was very strong, polite, smart, and supportive. The plot is interesting, and the game is captivating. Did I mention I like Eldin? XD Great job on an awesome game.

[WhiteMageChiu]

Um, it goes back to the beginning of the game after that creature kills Therese. Is that supposed to happen? I really like Eldin. He was very strong, polite, smart, and supportive. The plot is interesting, and the game is captivating. Did I mention I like Eldin? XD Great job on an awesome game.

Yes! That is on purpose @w@ I'd love to hear your theories on why this is the case!
But nnnggggg I'm so glad you like Eldin!!! ; w ; I really love him a lot too <3
Thank you so so much for playing ;; v ;; <3

[VocaloidsRCool]

I believe that after Therese dies, she forgets everything again. About Eldin; about the thing; about the experiment. Everything. And I think that after Eldin dies, he forgets the things that have recently happened, only remembering that he and Therese are stuck dreaming forever until they can find a way out. I think that the way the creature killed Eldin shocked him into forgetting some things. Like the trauma of everything that happened - of everything that the monster did to him and Therese, forced his brain to erase those memories, to protect his sanity. After all, he is a twelve year old boy who saw a woman get ripped apart by a monster. That alone must have been too much for him.

It is almost cruel how you leave the player without any real closure. But, then again, this way the player gets to imagine their own ending. Ah, man, I don't want to use your game to create a work of fiction, but ideas are already flowing through my mind. I really want to write a story about the game, and find a way to get Eldin and Therese out of that world.

It would probably be better if I didn't though. I have a bad habit of not finishing some stories because of life getting in the way, and writer's block. It would be too sad to begin a story from the events of your game and then not be able to complete it. Besides, I have another habit of shamelessly throwing romance into my stories, and I have a feeling Therese and Eldin are too far apart age-wise for that.

Oh, look at me, rambling on and on. You made a great game, and I am so happy that I got the chance to play it. Good luck on any future games that you make. And may you someday make an otome game, because the number of bxb and bxg games are dominating the complete games section. XD

[WhiteMageChiu]

I believe that after Therese dies, she forgets everything again. About Eldin; about the thing; about the experiment. Everything. And I think that after Eldin dies, he forgets the things that have recently happened, only remembering that he and Therese are stuck dreaming forever until they can find a way out. I think that the way the creature killed Eldin shocked him into forgetting some things. Like the trauma of everything that happened - of everything that the monster did to him and Therese, forced his brain to erase those memories, to protect his sanity. After all, he is a twelve year old boy who saw a woman get ripped apart by a monster. That alone must have been too much for him.

It is almost cruel how you leave the player without any real closure. But, then again, this way the player gets to imagine their own ending. Ah, man, I don't want to use your game to create a work of fiction, but ideas are already flowing through my mind. I really want to write a story about the game, and find a way to get Eldin and Therese out of that world.

It would probably be better if I didn't though. I have a bad habit of not finishing some stories because of life getting in the way, and writer's block. It would be too sad to begin a story from the events of your game and then not be able to complete it. Besides, I have another habit of shamelessly throwing romance into my stories, and I have a feeling Therese and Eldin are too far apart age-wise for that.

Oh, look at me, rambling on and on. You made a great game, and I am so happy that I got the chance to play it. Good luck on any future games that you make. And may you someday make an otome game, because the number of bxb and bxg games are dominating the complete games section. XD

Th- that something I made could illicit such emotions out of someone //sobs ...I'm eternally grateful...
I'll... give you the cannon closure to the story, under a spoiler of course hahaha;;;

So please avoid this if you have not beaten the game!! ; w ;

The "closure" to this all revolves around the identity of the anomaly that is trapping them there. That anomaly is you, the player, the human playing the game. You entered a space you weren't supposed to and thus the two of them are trapped. They cannot leave, even if they were to reach the end goal of the dream, until you stop playing the game, hence the continuous looping. But yes you're right about them losing memories due to the types of assault they receive, if it's to the head they lose memories! Also as an adult I cannot recall my dreams any longer, while as a child it was quite easy for me to do so, which is why Eldin finds it easier to retain memories than Therese.

[VocaloidsRCool]

Ah, excuse me, but how do you beat the game? I have a feeling that if I tried to on my own, I would just end up at the beginning again.

[WhiteMageChiu]

Ah, excuse me, but how do you beat the game? I have a feeling that if I tried to on my own, I would just end up at the beginning again.

Putting it under a spoiler again, please avoid if you haven't played U u U

You don't "beat" it persay. Since you are the reason they can't leave, nothing can happen or move forward until you, the player, stop playing the game. In that sense you don't "beat" the game until you stop playing, you never get to see the closure yourself, but leave the game knowing [if you decipher it from all the clues in the story] that they'll be fine now and able to move on with their lives.

[VocaloidsRCool]

I get it. The dream ends when the player stops playing, and that is why it goes back to the beginning. The creature says that there is an entity connected to Therese. Because the player controls Therese, the player is connected to her, but is not inside her. The player is the one always watching them. It makes sense. How clever, and creative! I never would have figured out on my own that I was the one keeping them from waking up. Now I feel a bit stupid and guilty. Haha. The player controlling whether they leave the dream or not is pretty cool. Now I want to play the game again.

[WhiteMageChiu]

I get it. The dream ends when the player stops playing, and that is why it goes back to the beginning. The creature says that there is an entity connected to Therese. Because the player controls Therese, the player is connected to her, but is not inside her. The player is the one always watching them. It makes sense. How clever, and creative! I never would have figured out on my own that I was the one keeping them from waking up. Now I feel a bit stupid and guilty. Haha. The player controlling whether they leave the dream or not is pretty cool. Now I want to play the game again.

Hahaha well I'm glad it all makes sense in the end ; w ;b
Some people have gotten it, most don't though;;; so I wonder if I need to add more hints? I don't want to make it too obvious though... mmm... gotta find a happy middle ground somewhere...

B-but ... the fact that you'd even consider playing it over again... that makes me so happy;;;;sobs
Thank you so much ; o ; <3

This is the completed game, though I want to add in voice acting, more music, and really up the visuals.
So I'm thinking I'm going to put this onto KickStarter! And donators would be getting the finished product!

I'm looking into even adding some animation~ and extra scenes too! [especially the events that lead up to that first suicide! //nods]

[VocaloidsRCool]

Hey, this is a mystery, it has to be hard. I think it's fine without adding more hints.

I really like this game, so of course I would play it again. In fact, I'm near the end right now.

That's great! I am glad you are thinking of enhancing your game. Though it doesn't need much improvement. The sketched scenes could be finished, and extra scenes sound nice too. Maybe you could make a scene that shows the beginning - like information about the experiment, how they ended up volunteering to be part of the experiment, and how they ended up in a dream. Maybe it could be a bonus scene you don't get until you complete the game.

I am sorry, I can not donate, because I am poor. Does that mean I can not get the finished product?

If I were you, I would keep the art style the way it is. The way you drew Therese, Eldin, and even the creature, really fits the horror/mystery genre of the game. I don't know how to explain it well, but I like the art. I really do.

[WhiteMageChiu]

Hey, this is a mystery, it has to be hard. I think it's fine without adding more hints.

I really like this game, so of course I would play it again. In fact, I'm near the end right now.

That's great! I am glad you are thinking of enhancing your game. Though it doesn't need much improvement. The sketched scenes could be finished, and extra scenes sound nice too. Maybe you could make a scene that shows the beginning - like information about the experiment, how they ended up volunteering to be part of the experiment, and how they ended up in a dream. Maybe it could be a bonus scene you don't get until you complete the game.

I am sorry, I can not donate, because I am poor. Does that mean I can not get the finished product?

If I were you, I would keep the art style the way it is. The way you drew Therese, Eldin, and even the creature, really fits the horror/mystery genre of the game. I don't know how to explain it well, but I like the art. I really do.

Y- you think it's really that good?;;;; sobs
Thank you so much;;;;; your words are too good for me;;;;

I think that'd be good, after cycling through the game once being able to unlock a little more background info about the experiment... but still not making it too obvious what's going on of course ;D
My original goal for this story was the mystery!! I wrote everything around it~

Mmm.. tough question... as a fellow artist I know how good it feels/ important it is to be compensated for your work... so if I want to get voice acting and help to better the soundtrack... I want to be able to pay the ones who assist with their talents. Which is why I've been thinking of going to KickStarter.
So asking some to pay for something, and then not asking others to... seems unfair;;;

Perhaps I could distribute the "finished product" not finished [like not have the voice acting, and still have everything be sketchy, yet have all the new scenes?]
And then for those who want the polished piece, they could donate? That might be a fair compromise, those who donate would also have the opportunity for other bonuses too, like an art book and posters and what not. Also looking into making dakimakuras and possibly even figures @w@
...which would for sure require payment haha;;; but yeah!

I'll keep thinking of ways to make sure everyone can enjoy it ; w ;b