At Bay [Sci-fi|Mystery|GxB|[Romance] Character Info Updated

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flaminghippo
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At Bay [Sci-fi|Mystery|GxB|[Romance] Character Info Updated

#1 Post by flaminghippo »

3/5/14: Updated Carter info

This is my first project; I've been stalking LSF for a while and finally decided to commit myself to a project of my own, which I will be working on with my sister (she's helping me out with the art assets (she's doing the art lololo)). The story is primarily sci-fi and mystery, though there will be elements of romance involved.

Just sayin', none of the artwork below is final. I'll update it as we make progress.
At Bay

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Characters:

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Maeve Lattis
Age: 17
17, snarky, a little too curious for her own good, and every bit as confused and lost as a 17 year old should be, Maeve is absolutely not ready to be a heroine any time soon, and she knows it. She grew up in Arden's shadow and developed a rather crippling inferiority complex—which contributes to her confusion as to why someone like Arden would possibly have felt the need to kill herself.

Arden Korterine [DECEASED]
Age: 18
Maeve's best friend who committed suicide last semester via cyanide poisoning. Former president of the Artex Environmental Engineering club and the valedictorian-to-be, Arden was an incredibly bright student and well beyond her years in knowledge and awareness. She could adapt to any social situation: she talked quantum mechanics with the math heads, joked around with the class clowns, played rocketball at lunch with the jocks, went shopping with the popular girls, and hit the books in the library with the preppies.

Of course, she was Maeve's best friend before she was any of that, but how well did Maeve really know her, anyway?

PURSUABLE:

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Side characters to be added to this list in the future.
Gameplay
Each pursuable character has his own path. The path you end up on is determined by the choices you make in the prologue—which, by the looks of it, will be a relatively lengthy introduction to the story and its characters. Of course, each path has multiple branches and endings that are determined by the choices you make throughout the course of the story.

The story is centered around Maeve's investigation of Arden's suicide and her relationships with the other characters. Each path will provide new insight into the details of the main story, and each route will be unique—it is therefore recommended that you play through all of the paths to have the most complete understanding of the story and its characters. Most of the paths do involve romance, though the choice is ultimately yours whether or not you want to see it through (by which I mean your choices will affect how "romantic" the ending of a path is).

Really, this whole shebang is under construction; I'm still working out the details of the gameplay and will definitely update this when it's all finalized.

For the time being, any suggestions are more than welcome :)

QUESTIONS:


I'd really love it if you could answer some of the following questions! It'll help me out a lot as I move forward with this game.
  • Is this a game you would be interested in playing? If not, what would make it more appealing to you?
  • This is advertised as an otome game; how much romance would you expect/want from it?
  • Do you find the protagonist, Maeve, likable?
  • Do you like the idea of having a side image to portray Maeve or would you prefer we left it out?
  • The art isn't polished yet (these are rough designs), but how do you feel about the style? Would you prefer more anime-styled artwork?
Progress
  • Story/Outline: 85% (fleshing out some details)
  • Script: 3% (I'm busy stop pressuring me, mom)
  • Character design: 80%
  • Final sprites: 0% (looool will update, I promise)
  • BGs: 30%
  • Music: 0% (bahahahahahahahaha one day)



I'll try to update this as frequently as I can, but I'm actually more busy than I'd like to admit (lol who does homework these days). Like I said, my sister and I are working on this alone and I'll be composing an original soundtrack later (this whole process calls on literally all of my skills across the board and it's exhausting). We're both students and we're busy.

I'd like this to stay here in the WIP forum because this really is a project that we're actively working on and putting a lot of effort into. It's not just an idea, we're just slow. I'll have all the free time in the world to work on this once school gets out.

Comments and feedback are more than welcome! They're actually encouraged! Please!
Last edited by flaminghippo on Mon Mar 17, 2014 1:48 am, edited 13 times in total.

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Re: At Bay [Sci-fi] [Mystery] [GxB]

#2 Post by Mad Harlequin »

Oh, hey, Hippo! So this is your first project, huh? Cool! :)

Question-answering time!

1. Sure, I'd play this. I have a complicated relationship with romance games, but the plot looks interesting and you have the opportunity to explore some very deep emotional territory.

2. It may be an otome game, but I'd prefer realistic romance if possible. The characters have to be strong enough to stand on their own and should not be defined solely by the romance.

3. I really like Maeve. She's on the cusp of adulthood, she has weaknesses (oh my gosh I love you for this), and she's dealing with a problem I think all of us encounter in life---who are our friends, really?

4. I don't mind either way.

5. For the love of heaven, don't travel the anime route. Anime-style artwork is often very pretty and stylish, but it's been done. I'd much rather see your sister's own special art style. :)

I'll be watching your progress. Best wishes!
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Re: At Bay [Sci-fi] [Mystery] [GxB]

#3 Post by Superslouch »

This looks really cool! I guess I'll just answer your questions in order:
  • I'd love to play this game. One of the things I like most about it so far is that the characters are pretty human and have the potential to be more than just archetypes. Keep that up! I do have to point out that the whole "post-apocalyptic world in which people live in some colony or another to hide from pollution" theme has been done time and time again. That's not to say you shouldn't do it—obviously nothing is original these days and what you make of that theme is what matters.
  • I think the selling point of this game isn't the romance aspect; that may just be me, but I think you should focus on the sci-fi/mystery. It looks like the story is played on a route-by-route basis, so romance can definitely add to it.
  • If you're referring to her spunk, I'd say yes. Pleeeeaaasseee give me an independent female protagonist. I'm so sick of seeing feeble, girly, childlike, hyperinnocent, subservient female protags. Can we move on from those kinds of characters? This is the 21st century.
  • Meh. Side images are cool when they're done right.
  • Love the art style. Keep it. Polish it up, but keep it. It's a helluva lot more distinctive than anime styled art is, and it definitely has a certain appeal.
Hope this helps you out!

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Re: At Bay [Sci-fi] [Mystery] [GxB]

#4 Post by qirien »

Is this a game you would be interested in playing? If not, what would make it more appealing to you?
This is advertised as an otome game; how much romance would you expect/want from it?
Do you find the protagonist, Maeve, likable?
Do you like the idea of having a side image to portray Maeve or would you prefer we left it out?
The art isn't polished yet (these are rough designs), but how do you feel about the style? Would you prefer more anime-styled artwork?

I think your game sounds really interesting! Romance is okay, but I think it works better with another genre, so Mystery/sci-fi/romance sounds awesome. :-) I would expect a lot of the plot to revolve around solving the mystery, and suspicions of the different characters, and some flirting with the different characters, and maybe something romantic at the end.

I like Maeve! She sounds fun, but also has her own struggles. Personally, I like to see a side image for the main character or have them on screen. Otherwise, I forget what they look like, and then there's a CG and I'm like "who's that?! Oh, that's supposed to me?!"

I love, love, love the current art style. We need some more variety in art, and this is close enough to feel familiar, but different enough to feel unique, too.

Good luck!
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Re: At Bay [Sci-fi] [Mystery] [GxB]

#5 Post by flaminghippo »

Mad Harlequin wrote: 1. Sure, I'd play this. I have a complicated relationship with romance games, but the plot looks interesting and you have the opportunity to explore some very deep emotional territory.

2. It may be an otome game, but I'd prefer realistic romance if possible. The characters have to be strong enough to stand on their own and should not be defined solely by the romance.
I'm hoping to develop my characters into well-rounded and complex personalities. I definitely don't want the romance to be the main attraction of the story—it'll be subtle! :)
qirien wrote:Romance is okay, but I think it works better with another genre, so Mystery/sci-fi/romance sounds awesome. :-) I would expect a lot of the plot to revolve around solving the mystery, and suspicions of the different characters, and some flirting with the different characters, and maybe something romantic at the end.
I also think that romance works well when it's paired with more serious genres. I love a good romantic comedy when I'm in the mood for it, but I really want to write a mystery/sci-fi...the romance will serve as something of a contrast here.
superslouch wrote: I do have to point out that the whole "post-apocalyptic world in which people live in some colony or another to hide from pollution" theme has been done time and time again. That's not to say you shouldn't do it—obviously nothing is original these days and what you make of that theme is what matters.
Thanks for this! Blaaaahh, I was totally freaking out about originality for a while. Anthropogenic environmental destruction is a heavily used theme in science-fiction VNs, after all. I like to think that my story has something new to offer in its mystery and romance aspects.
Mad Harlequin wrote: 3. I really like Maeve. She's on the cusp of adulthood, she has weaknesses (oh my gosh I love you for this), and she's dealing with a problem I think all of us encounter in life---who are our friends, really?
Yeeessss. I like to think that it's a writer's job to portray things as realistically as he/she can. People aren't one-dimensional; hopefully I'll be able to get that across.
qirien wrote:Personally, I like to see a side image for the main character or have them on screen. Otherwise, I forget what they look like, and then there's a CG and I'm like "who's that?! Oh, that's supposed to me?!"
Alright, thanks! I know that some people would rather not see what the protagonist looks like (so they can feel more immersed in the story, I guess), but you're totally right when it comes to CGs.
Mad Harlequin wrote: 5. For the love of heaven, don't travel the anime route. Anime-style artwork is often very pretty and stylish, but it's been done. I'd much rather see your sister's own special art style. :)
qirien wrote: I love, love, love the current art style. We need some more variety in art, and this is close enough to feel familiar, but different enough to feel unique, too.
superslouch wrote: Love the art style. Keep it. Polish it up, but keep it. It's a helluva lot more distinctive than anime styled art is, and it definitely has a certain appeal.
Great! I'm glad you all like the art style, and I'm sure my sister will be, too. I know that anime-style art has a pretty widespread appeal, so I was just wondering if deviating from that norm would be detrimental to my project.

Frankly, I don't think anime-style artwork would really fit the theme of the story, anyway...

Thanks for all your input!

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Re: At Bay [Sci-fi] [Mystery] [GxB]

#6 Post by thelovebat »

flaminghippo wrote:
Mad Harlequin wrote: 5. For the love of heaven, don't travel the anime route. Anime-style artwork is often very pretty and stylish, but it's been done. I'd much rather see your sister's own special art style. :)
qirien wrote: I love, love, love the current art style. We need some more variety in art, and this is close enough to feel familiar, but different enough to feel unique, too.
superslouch wrote: Love the art style. Keep it. Polish it up, but keep it. It's a helluva lot more distinctive than anime styled art is, and it definitely has a certain appeal.
Great! I'm glad you all like the art style, and I'm sure my sister will be, too. I know that anime-style art has a pretty widespread appeal, so I was just wondering if deviating from that norm would be detrimental to my project.

Frankly, I don't think anime-style artwork would really fit the theme of the story, anyway...

Thanks for all your input!
I do concur with what everyone else has mentioned regarding the artstyle. While on a technical level every artist has room for improvement, it's always a great change to go with what you think is best, rather than trying to go with what you think the masses of anime (or VN) fans would take a liking to. I guess I could say it's refreshing to see a unique, realistic styled kind of art with anime influence but not necessarily anime styled. I especially like Maeve's character design, at least the face and hair that was shown.

As for the character design of the pursuable guys, at least facially, you could probably have your sister do a bit more to have them more distinguishable outside of the hair type and color. I think though with time she'll be able to flesh them out a bit based on their different quirks and personalities which more than make up for how the designs look now (and as you mentioned they are rough designs), as the characters all seem very interesting as well as the story.

As for answering the other questions you had


•Is this a game you would be interested in playing? If not, what would make it more appealing to you?

Yep I definitely would love to play this. :) I really like the idea of sci-fi, and the story itself going a more personal route more related to the character themselves, rather than feeling like "If there's a world to save, I might as well be the one to save it!" mentality. Something like a Planescape Torment-esque visual novel but in a sci-fi (and somewhat apocalyptic) setting, where the characters and dialogue are what make the story, and while romance is definitely an option (and a very interesting one) it's not required you pursue anyone like that to progress through the game.

All in all, the more you focus on fleshing out the characters and properly utilizing the unique world around them to help drive the story (whether it be backstory or side stories or whatever else) then I think this could turn out to be really interesting. Considering it's your first project it'll be tough to pull it off on your first try, but from the characters and the story presented so far it seems you're on the right track to do it. It'll just be a lot of work ahead to make sure it's done right.

My one big piece of advice seeing as it's your first project would be to have patience. That's very important, both for you and your sister doing the art. Seeing as how many people may not even get to the point of seeing their first idea/project to completion, just know it's better not to try and rush things to get closer to the finish line. Be patient with your project, take time to go through draft after draft and revision after revision with the writing/characters. I'd even be willing to help out with the writing if you ever have need of any help on that front.


•This is advertised as an otome game; how much romance would you expect/want from it?

As much as you feel is necessary. Just as long as you don't try too hard or overdo it (like where things happen out of nowhere or for no good reason). I honestly feel that well done romances are a great thing and I enjoy them a lot. However, we've seen time and time again that writing even a solid romance plot can be harder than it looks (i.e. "Still a better love story than Twilight"). All of the characters presented so far seem unique in their own way, so I guess I can say that should mean how each guy can be pursued should be at least a bit different from the others. You could also have it so if you try pursuing more than one with the choices made, eventually Maeve is confronted by the guys she's attempted to pursue and has to choose between them.

All in all, it's up to you how the romances are implemented. I do think if the romances are a bit more subtle as you mentioned, then it would still be cool to have a fair amount of flavor text or cosmetic decisions that go along with the different routes/paths, especially with the late game/ending situations as Maeve finds out more about Arden. An example being Marus who had a falling out with Arden at one time, which presents many possibilities romance wise and story wise as Maeve finds out more regarding Arden.


•Do you find the protagonist, Maeve, likable?

She's very likeable I think for the fact that she's her own person, and yet at the same time she has her imperfections that she (and others) deal with. I like the idea you're taking with Maeve, intentionally writing her with having faults along with quirks. This makes for a more interesting and less predictable story, one where the characters aren't totally reliant on the otome or romance aspects to seem interesting. They're able to stand on their own whichever direction the story ends up unfolding. And, for better or worse, breakdown if things come down to nitty gritty things.


•Do you like the idea of having a side image to portray Maeve or would you prefer we left it out?

Yes. Knowing what the main character looks like is pretty essential for me to be able to have a better "connect" with them. Immersion is great, but I think this goes more for being immersed in the story and the atmosphere, not necessarily the main character themselves (I'm a guy as it is, so for an otome game I don't see myself as the main character like that anyway). We see things unfold through Maeve's eyes, but it's like seeing a digital recording and controlling which direction things go, if that makes sense. Having things immersive where it doesn't feel like it's a videogame, but you're able to identify with the main character or sympathize with them which brings you in. How things have been done in WRPGs I've enjoyed where you're able to role play, but the character is still the character. Imagine in something like a Star Wars game where you play as Han Solo. It wouldn't be any fun to try and play like "I'm" Han Solo, because what makes him so cool is that he's his own character and some things he'll still end up doing his own way. Rather it's just me controlling him or influencing his actions.
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Re: At Bay [Sci-fi][Mystery][GxB][Romance]

#7 Post by flaminghippo »

Updated Carter's info (and added his character design).

We're always open to suggestions/questions/and comments! :D

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Re: At Bay [Sci-fi|Mystery|GxB|[Romance] Character Info Upda

#8 Post by Googaboga »

-Is this a game you would be interested in playing? If not, what would make it more appealing to you?

It is :].

-This is advertised as an otome game; how much romance would you expect/want from it?

In my opinion in order for something to be labeled 'otome' you simply need to have the option of interacting with at least one male character and their relationship can possibly become romantic. That's all you need. Sometimes it's the main focus on the game and other times it is very much a side thing. So I never how much romance to expect. As for how much I want, I don't really have a preference. I suppose it depends on the game.

-Do you find the protagonist, Maeve, likable?

I'm not sure. She sound interesting, sympathetic, and possibly relateable to some but not blatantly likable. From her description she definitely could be but there is also room for her to go another way and be not so likeable.

-Do you like the idea of having a side image to portray Maeve or would you prefer we left it out?

I'd like that. It's always nice to be able to see the MC. But I can definitely live without it.

-The art isn't polished yet (these are rough designs), but how do you feel about the style? Would you prefer more anime-styled artwork?

I like it a lot. I think the characters all look good c:
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Re: At Bay [Sci-fi|Mystery|GxB|[Romance] Character Info Upda

#9 Post by Mad Harlequin »

So Carter is basically my boyfriend in a nutshell (even the portrait looks like him!), give or take a few things. Get out of my head. :lol:
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Re: At Bay [Sci-fi|Mystery|GxB|[Romance] Character Info Upda

#10 Post by flaminghippo »

Googaboga wrote:-Do you find the protagonist, Maeve, likable?

I'm not sure. She sound interesting, sympathetic, and possibly relateable to some but not blatantly likable. From her description she definitely could be but there is also room for her to go another way and be not so likeable.
Thanks for your honesty there! Looking at it now, I realize Maeve's description doesn't really say much about who she is—hopefully I can get you to like her eventually :)
Mad Harlequin wrote:So Carter is basically my boyfriend in a nutshell (even the portrait looks like him!), give or take a few things. Get out of my head. :lol:
Actually?! Hahaha, you're a lucky one! Guess we know which one's your favorite....?

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Re: At Bay [Sci-fi|Mystery|GxB|[Romance] Character Info Upda

#11 Post by Mad Harlequin »

Heheh. Maybe he is my favorite. I won't be sure until I play, of course. My beau's a bit like Kai, too, come to think of it . . . "some say he's a genius, and other people say he's an asshole." :lol:
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Re: At Bay [Sci-fi|Mystery|GxB|[Romance] Character Info Upda

#12 Post by Ferdokki »

Wooow, this sounds cool! 8D
Lemme answer some of your questions (that is, if you're still interested in reading the responses >_>):


1. Is this a game you would be interested in playing? If not, what would make it more appealing to you?

YES! I'm super interested in playing this! In fact, I accidently stumbled on this thread and was disappointed that it's a WiP instead of an actual download. But don't worry, please take your time! Good games take time. =)
One thing though: Is there a way to maybe post some of the features of the game? I know you've posted how many guys can be pursued (there's so many, and they're all awesome! <(*o*)> Though I'll admit I'm not too drawn to Kai), but how about other features? Like maybe length or number of endings?
Other than that, the concept in your gameplay description sounds really cool! I think it's interesting that you get assigned a path based on your initial decisions, and then still have more different types of decisions and stuff to make! =D

2. This is advertised as an otome game; how much romance would you expect/want from it?

Well, I like that you said the romance aspect depends on the player and the choices made. I'd prefer if each boy has a "friendship" path and a "lover"(?) path (and maybe an "evil" path? o_0). That way, you don't have to get into a romantic relationship if you don't want to.

3. Do you find the protagonist, Maeve, likable?

Yeah, I like her. She seems like an average girl anyone could know, and I like to be able to play in that kind of character position. It kind of makes the game relatable. I also like her realistic reactions and thoughts about events/characters (based on the info you've provided). For example, she's not the typical otome fangirl obsessed with an arrogant douche (Rayze); rather she knows what his personality is like and acknowledges it instead of blindly falling in love. I also like that she questions her friendship with Arden like a normal human being instead of thinking, "Gee, that was my best friend. She committed suicide. She must've been unhappy. That sucks." Instead, Maeve raises questions and thinks about what could've gone wrong for someone like Arden. And she also questions how much Arden was hiding from her, instead of being a weakling protagonist and thinking, "Oh, it's probably for the best. I'm sure she would've told me such and such if she were comfortable about it."

4. Do you like the idea of having a side image to portray Maeve or would you prefer we left it out?

I'd actually prefer the side image of Maeve. I really like her character design, and I'd like to see her in the game. As I mentioned in the last question, I like her personality too, so I wouldn't mind playing as her. =)

5. The art isn't polished yet (these are rough designs), but how do you feel about the style? Would you prefer more anime-styled artwork?

No, I actually like the art as is. I mentioned in the first question that I stumbled across this, and aside from the interesting plot, the other thing that drew me in was/is the artwork. The art, coloring, and designs look really original and cool. I like that they're not "shiny shojo-esque" boys as drawn in some mangas. I even like the coloring style! =D It's like gentle coloring, instead of hardcore graphic CG art you see nowadays. Kinda reminds me of the "Trader of Stories" games from Pastel Games. =)


This project is looking really great! Keep up the awesome work! =D

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