Chocolate Kiss-Megan Path Demo

[Sleipnir56]

This game is nowhere near done, but due to the fact that I'm a little skeptical on putting it out I've decided to put a portion of Megan's path out. I really would like to know what you thought about the writing,art,music,story, and if it was interesting. Please give feedback when done playing. Thanks

Here's the link http://www.mediafire.com/download/3o1pk ... .0-all.zip

[philip]

Downloaded this late last evening, and fell asleep before I could go through it. However, I started on it first thing this morning and have just finished my first time going through. I like it! The story is very nice (will be anxious to see the rest) and the art is wonderful. I found the story to be very interesting, and enjoyed the interplay between the various characters.

On the down side, there are a few typos and in the scene with the fortune teller, the "Fortune Teller" name in the dialog box is black on black, making it almost impossible to read.

Overall, I really enjoyed the demo! Will be playing again, and taking some other choices to see what effect they might have on the outcome.

philip

[Sleipnir56]

Downloaded this late last evening, and fell asleep before I could go through it. However, I started on it first thing this morning and have just finished my first time going through. I like it! The story is very nice (will be anxious to see the rest) and the art is wonderful. I found the story to be very interesting, and enjoyed the interplay between the various characters.

On the down side, there are a few typos and in the scene with the fortune teller, the "Fortune Teller" name in the dialog box is black on black, making it almost impossible to read.

Overall, I really enjoyed the demo! Will be playing again, and taking some other choices to see what effect they might have on the outcome.

philip

Thank yous o much . I'm really happy that you enjoyed it. I'll change the Fortune Tellers color box name. Sorry about that.

[dinaga]

Just played through the demo and I liked it very much!
The characters, backgrounds, music, writing... it really fits in.
And I found the story intriguing. I like the chemistry you created between the main character and Megan, and the whole father conflict. It is believable and makes me sympathize with the character, although her "tsundere" side was annoying in the beginning.

And I have to say I really laughed out loud at this line:
Megan: "Just because my dad helped me doesn't mean I'm stupid."
Liz: "Yes it does."

There are few typos, like "exspensive", "constume", "to relaxing" and such, but I like the story very much and am interested to see how it ends. Also, I'm curious if the things you told the fortune teller really decide your fate later on!

Looking forward to the full game! Good job!

[Sleipnir56]

Just played through the demo and I liked it very much!
The characters, backgrounds, music, writing... it really fits in.
And I found the story intriguing. I like the chemistry you created between the main character and Megan, and the whole father conflict. It is believable and makes me sympathize with the character, although her "tsundere" side was annoying in the beginning.

And I have to say I really laughed out loud at this line:
Megan: "Just because my dad helped me doesn't mean I'm stupid."
Liz: "Yes it does."

There are few typos, like "exspensive", "constume", "to relaxing" and such, but I like the story very much and am interested to see how it ends. Also, I'm curious if the things you told the fortune teller really decide your fate later on!

Looking forward to the full game! Good job!

Thank you so much , and sorry for they typos. Those things always show up even after I got over it. But don't worry, I'll check those out. Anyway, I'm glad you liked the game and even got a laugh out of it. Megan is a bit Tsundere, and those do annoy people sometimes Glad she became better though. That means she developing .

[EndlessOcean]

Hi! I played your demo yesterday and I wanted to give you some feedback.
First of all, I like that you decided for a full yuri game, there aren't enough of those around. I enjoyed playing the demo but I also think there's room for improvement. Please note I'm no expert so I may be overanalysing or bothered by things that work just fine, in that case just ignore my comments.

Art: I liked the anime style and it was well done and believable. However the sprite with Megan looking up looked a bit strange to me as if the eyes weren't right (or maybe the eyebrows I'm not sure). This could just be me though. The sprites and background suited each other just fine so I would keep it that way. I liked it and I hope you'll continue.

Story: I liked the story but I found it to be rather predictable. Then again a big part of the animes are very predictable so that doesnt say much. It was still a funny game and the characters were likeable. It might help if you add just a bit more description, it makes the characters more alive (it's a demo so perhaps this'll change in the final).

Grammar/Typos: There were some typos here and there but it's a demo so it's no big deal. Some I noticed where from the sene with the fortune teller in which you get to choose the most important thing in a lover, one of the options was personlity which should be personality.
Another one was in the conversation between Liz and Megan about her barely passing middle school. 'Past' should be 'passed' in the sentence. There were some other minor ones as well like repetition of the same word ('a a' instead of simply one 'a') and sometimes letters were missing. I'm sorry I can't remember the exact place.

Music: I don't remember there being music, but maybe my volume wasn't high enough. If there was any, it didn't bother me which is nice 'cause hard/loud music can disrupt your concentration and it bothers me when reading.

So I hope it was at least a little bit helpful. Again I remnd you I'm no pro so you can just throw my advice out of the window if you like. Either way I hope you keep working on this VN, it looks promising and I would like to play it when it's complete.