Fright and Tragic [medieval fantasy, RPG-elemets?, BxG]

[NekoNutchi]

(Temporary title)

Setting & Lore:

Waitsu
A post-utopian medieval country under religious rule. Animals (including humans) of different species once coexisted, but in combination with increased hybridization, disease swept across the lands and left behind conflict, poverty and desolation.
The dominant religion, ("Cosmolicism"), is based on medieval Catholicism, and has many similar elements (e.g inquisitors and animosity towards sinners and heretics such as pagans). The world contains magic, which was used by the pagans to establish and maintain connections between different species and uphold peaceful relations and tranquility. Following the cosmologists' prevention of magic, several ecologically prominent species have gone extinct which in turn caused instability among others animals that used to rely on them, now reverting to other means of restoring that peace or drive the separation further. (For example, the sheep and wolves are at war, while at the other extreme, individual humans have adopted bestiality much to the contempt of the church, leading them to exile in constant fear of the inquisition).

mock-up map


Main cast:
Player (Loc)

The main character, a classic peasant son who's trying make ends meet.
Little is known about the rest of his family nor his background

, except that he had a grandfather who used to tell blasphemous stories

. This is to put more focus on the other characters of the cast, quite a few of which are getting their own routes (a planned 6). I'm planning on having a few RPG-like elements like a map, an inventory and cash, allowing the main character/player to buy/sell stuff and get a job to earn money. This won't be for some greater purpose of "winning" the game or beating a boss, but rather an influence for story-progression. (E.g money can be used to help another character to get the route with him/her or an item can be used to get a certain scene or ending).

Sheep-girl, Ovilia

The tsundere sheep-girl that refuses to realize she's an outcast.

The other sheep are jealous of her not having to contribute to society by paying taxes. She also doesn't get sheared as often because of her limited amount of wool, which they see as unfair, especially during the winter. They also find her hybrid form (which suggests bestiality) to be disgusting and immoral. Underneath her cold surface however, the sheep girl feels insecure and inferior to the normal sheep. After all, she wants to be normal, but is constantly under attack and forced to build up a facade of personal strength and independence.

Woodcutter, Betti

Chops trees to earn her income, lives alone in the forest. Got her job because of the fallen victims of the plague that opened up many vacant positions and demand for goods on the marketplace. ...She has a cool axe.

Gravedigger, Morty

Another young worker who took a job at the monastery as a gravedigger for pragmatic rather than religious purposes. (He's more interested in economics than religion.) He's blunt and straight to the point, which could make him come off as clumsy or get him into trouble, as well as being a strength in certain situations.

Sick villager, Malissy

As the youngest character in the main cast, she is an orphan on a quest to search for medicine for her ill sister. She's naive and ignorant, doesn't know much about how the land is governed,

and the fact that her sister works at a brothel doesn't put her puzzlement at ease

. Nonetheless, she has a very strong will and loyalty.

Aspiring mage, Demoire

Studies volumes of grimoires at an abandoned barn turned library, at which many of the books were supposed to be submitted for burning, but being a stealthy thief, she managed to get hold of them, along with a few jewels which adorns her hat. However, at risk of being caught by witch-hunters, she has to hide all her activity and become a complete recluse. This is probably the character with the most personality development planned.

Trying her best to shut everything out of her secret chamber, she can be very suspicious and manic at times, but also in complete lack of understanding of the outside world. Out of the cast, she's probably the most insane person, and even prone to hallucinations which she probably gets by consuming a certain type of mushroom. Her main purpose with learning magic is to find out the true will of the Originator and help restore peace between different species.

Nun/Maiden, Gloria

An old friend of the MC, who spends her time at the monastery, growing herbs in the garden, trying desperately to study and interpret the scripture in the correct way, and does what she can to help people in need. She's kind to the point of being overly caring and protective, but also a very helpful and reliable friend.

Adventurer, Amy

A cousin of the MC, with a curious mind and a wish to study. Being that her family is in debt, she can't afford to pursue that interest and wants to set off on a journey instead. Her personality is playful, a bit silly and with a childish curiosity to find out both useful and useless information.

I am still at the idea-development and early writing stage, but felt the need to make a post and ask a few questions to avoid getting stuck. I might return later to ask for help, especially with the programming and/or writing aspect since i'm not confident in adding game-play or interactive elements like a map (although i think it could be done with imagemaps), and neither do i trust my patience with writing, although i enjoy it once i actually get into a story...

Questions

1. Does the idea seem interesting/would you play it if it were made?

2. Would you still play if it featured monster-girls or furries? (no rape)

3. Would you like some of the specific endings (one per character-route) to be romantic and/or erotic?
And note that this would imply one BxB route, one furry, one loli and probably a monster girl as well.

4. I hope this question makes sense; how to balance the story and interactive elements in a way that retains focus on the characters and their back-stories, but still lends some control to the player..?
(At first i was thinking of just making this into a full-scale RPG, but then realized i'm more interested in story-based games, but i still don't want to abandon the idea, so the map-system, money and items are kind of a compromise.)

Lastly, if you have any questions, suggestions or other feedback, feel free to comment in this thread or via PM.

[fleet]

You've done well in developing your concept.
I'm only going to address question number 2 (would you still play it).
Don't worry if people respond in open forum saying they would or would not play it.
If the artwork is decent (your art looks okay to me), the writing is good (your post indicates to me that you know how to write), and someone is interested in a story that includes bestiality, they will play the game.

[Anastylos]

My only concern is that the cosmolitic church sounds a bit "evil" by forbidding magic and prosecuting magic users. Make them less evil, what are their reasons for doing so? Maybe magic is dangerous or in the past the power of powerfull magic users corrupted them like power always does and turned them into dictators. But that is only my opinion, I like moral conflicts and an absence of clear "black" and "white".
Apart from that the game sounds interesting and the art is well done.

EDIT: Maybe something like this:

Aguran the stag-king is still a hero for the pagans, even after three centuries. He was large, even among his own men and had a twelve ended antlers. He allowed the people of the south to settle in his land as long as they obeyed the lows of men and spirits. It appeared to become a time of peace and prosperity, but it only lasted for a couple of years. The harvest was bad and the plague began to spread and soon the comolics where accused of angering the spirits by worshiping the originator as their one and only god. Soon the situation got out of control. Cosmolitics where killed and the empire of Aguran was only one step away from a civil war. Aguran had fought all his life to unite the country and he did not want to risk it all for a religion that was not his own. He declared the cosmolitic beliefs as high treason and banished them. This did not prevent the war but he was able to unite the lords and druids under his banner and kept the empire from falling apart. It only worked for a short time: The church declared a holy war against Aguran. It was terrible. The spirits where unleashed and the druids did summon many terrible creatures to defeat the invaders, but in vain. After many years of battle he was defeated and burned. The inquisition was founded to guarantee the peace. The magic should never be used again to prevent a similar war. Three centuries have past and the situation today is not that different form what is was back then. The plague is spreading again and the toll is high. Entire cities are abandoned and desolated and the pagans have been accused of using dark magic to kill the cosmolitics, as they did before. Pagans are killed and the inquisition is trying to keep the situation under control by holding trial wherever they go. Once again the lands that once where ruled by Aguran are at the brink of disaster.

[NekoNutchi]

You've done well in developing your concept.
I'm only going to address question number 2 (would you still play it).
Don't worry if people respond in open forum saying they would or would not play it.
If the artwork is decent (your art looks okay to me), the writing is good (your post indicates to me that you know how to write), and someone is interested in a story that includes bestiality, they will play the game.

Thanks, i'll keep this in mind.

I think my confusion stems from not really understanding the idea of a 'target audience'. I mean, usually stories, games, books etc. are said to cater to a specific group of people often specified by age and gender. Now, before i go into a rant about that, i'd just like to say those properties don't seem relevant (or even very specific) when it comes to predicting genre-preferences of individuals within those groups... So i'll just disregard that for now and assume people interested in the genre of fantasy and the more obscure sub-genres included would play this if the idea is turned into practice with good enough content.

My only concern is that the cosmolitic church sounds a bit "evil" by forbidding magic and prosecuting magic users. Make them less evil, what are their reasons for doing so? Maybe magic is dangerous or in the past the power of powerfull magic users corrupted them like power always does and turned them into dictators. But that is only my opinion, I like moral conflicts and an absence of clear "black" and "white".
Apart from that the game sounds interesting and the art is well done.

EDIT: Maybe something like this:

Aguran the stag-king is still a hero for the pagans, even after three centuries. He was large, even among his own men and had a twelve ended antlers. He allowed the people of the south to settle in his land as long as they obeyed the lows of men and spirits. It appeared to become a time of peace and prosperity, but it only lasted for a couple of years. The harvest was bad and the plague began to spread and soon the comolics where accused of angering the spirits by worshiping the originator as their one and only god. Soon the situation got out of control. Cosmolitics where killed and the empire of Aguran was only one step away from a civil war. Aguran had fought all his life to unite the country and he did not want to risk it all for a religion that was not his own. He declared the cosmolitic beliefs as high treason and banished them. This did not prevent the war but he was able to unite the lords and druids under his banner and kept the empire from falling apart. It only worked for a short time: The church declared a holy war against Aguran. It was terrible. The spirits where unleashed and the druids did summon many terrible creatures to defeat the invaders, but in vain. After many years of battle he was defeated and burned. The inquisition was founded to guarantee the peace. The magic should never be used again to prevent a similar war. Three centuries have past and the situation today is not that different form what is was back then. The plague is spreading again and the toll is high. Entire cities are abandoned and desolated and the pagans have been accused of using dark magic to kill the cosmolitics, as they did before. Pagans are killed and the inquisition is trying to keep the situation under control by holding trial wherever they go. Once again the lands that once where ruled by Aguran are at the brink of disaster.

Thanks, this was very helpful. I think i made the cosmologists seem more evil in the OP than they will be in the story, where they of course will think they are doing good by following the true will of their god, the "originator". Perhaps a bit too parodying of catholisicm, but i was thinking of this will to be formulated in some sort of scripture and open to interpretation. The leading interpretation would be established at the top of the religious hierarchy, and at this point they think that it would be arrogant and pretentious for mere humans to use magical powers, not since it would rival the power of the originator, but since they believe his true will was that all existing beings have survived because of their 'natural' powers and shall continue to do so (of course this isn't descriptively true since the pagans used magic, but that's just another reason to hate them). I was also thinking of having some basic (albeit vague) rules for the magic, so as not to simply dismiss inexplicable actions as "oh, it was magic!". Probably something like: magical power can make connections between objects, but never create or destroy objects...

But i like the idea of a war with the pagans as a further reason to fuel their hatred against them. Also the concept of a stag king seemed really cool (and fun to draw), mind if i use that?

[Anastylos]

You've done well in developing your concept.
But i like the idea of a war with the pagans as a further reason to fuel their hatred against them. Also the concept of a stag king seemed really cool (and fun to draw), mind if i use that?

That would be very awesome. The stag-king is loosly inspired by king athur, who united the land by many wars and is often depicted as beeing at the crossing from pagan religion to christianity. Don't heistate to ask if you need anymore inspiration^^

[gekiganwing]

1. Does the idea seem interesting/would you play it if it were made?

Yes. That said, consider letting your story's locations be based on places that existed in real life. Look for more resources that provide information on actual history, and then think about how they can influence your fictional story. Primary sources are worth finding, and there's some fascinating secondary sources. For instance, the Norman Centuries audio podcast talks in episodes 8 through 17 about events that occurred in Sicily hundreds of years ago, and how it became a distinct nation for about a century.

...At the same time, don't let research overwhelm your story. This isn't a research project, it's a fictional world.

2. Would you still play if it featured monster-girls or furries? (no rape)

It looks like your story includes some hybrid human characters. If you want at least one to be a romance option, and have an on-screen sex scene, that's fine. I'd say let them be genuine characters first. It shouldn't be a check list of types of possible love interests, and I don't think it would be wise to consider any sex scenes as obligatory.

3. Would you like some of the specific endings (one per character-route) to be romantic and/or erotic?
And note that this would imply one BxB route, one furry, one loli and probably a monster girl as well.

Consider your scope. How much can you commit to writing? How will you persevere when writing the story becomes frustrating or boring?

Also, are friendship endings or "they parted ways" endings just as valid?

4. I hope this question makes sense (because it's my most difficult concern); how to balance the story and interactive elements in a way that retains focus on the characters and their back-stories, but still lends some control to the player..?
(At first i was thinking of just making this into a full-scale RPG, but then realized i'm more interested in story-based games, but i still don't want to abandon the idea, so the map-system, money and skills are kind of a compromise.)

Again, think about how much you want to focus on writing, and how much gameplay you want to create. Ask yourself if you're ready to commit months/years to finishing it. If you need to recruit help, then be sure to ask politely. If you want to crowd-fund it or turn it into a commercial product, then make sure to do a sufficient amount of research first.