Lemma Soft Forums

Edit: I amd back^^ and my internet connection, too ^^V

Hello everybody,
While working on "Crime•Scene" I got the idea of turning one of my short stories into a KN in order to test some things that I'll need for the bigger project "Crime•Scene". So, I decided to do "The Iron Heart Witch".
(This KN is more like a test for my next project. I did in in about 4 days^^" so don't exspect it to be anyting like Y;N)

Quick Facts:
Title: The Iron Heart Witch
Type: Short Story/KN
Genre: "Dark"-Fairytale
Read Time: About 15 minutes?
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theIronHeartWitch (if you enjoyed the game you may give it a like^^)

Plot:
Get surprised^^
It would be a complete spoiler to summarize this short story here, so ... just enjoy the show^^

Questions:
- Did you enjoy the KN? Was everything working fine?
- Did you find any spelling or grammar mistakes (please list them up if possible)
- Do you like the story, art and music?
- Do you like the presentation?
- Anything else to add? / Suggestions? / Ideas for improvement?
- How long did it take you to read it?

Download:
DOWNLOAD

Preview:

I'm downloading it right now. It looks very good! I'll let you know my impressions once I read it.

Just finished downloading it. It looks awesome! Haha. Can't wait to play it tomorrow~

Just downloaded and played through. Here are my answers to your questions:

Questions:
- Did you enjoy the KN? Was everything working fine?
I did enjoy it. I am using an Imac with Safari, and everything worked just fine.

- Did you find any spelling or grammar mistakes (please list them up if possible)
I did not see any obvious spelling or grammar errors (other than a couple in your
questions here).

- Do you like the story, art and music?
The story was nice, short though it was, the art was nifty, as was the music.

- Do you like the presentation?
The presentation was very unusual; I liked the approach.

- How long do you think it took me to create this KN? *kinda interested^^
As one who has only read visual novels, and never tried to create one, I haven't a clue as
to how long it took you. However, I will take a guess and say three or four weeks. I
suppose the art and presentation would have taken the most time.

- Anything else to add? / Suggestions? / Ideas for improvement?
Nope, will be anxiously awaiting your next effort, though!

- How long did it take you to read it?
Took me about ten minutes to go through it.

philip

@philip
Thank you so much for your feedback^^. I'm happy you enjoyed my little KN.
I created this game within and since a friend of mine wouldn't believe it I was curious about what other people may think. (She guesses that it took me about a month)^^

@Ran08 and Morhighan:
I hope you two enjoyed it as well^^ / or will enjoy it, wish you much fun.

@Mirrowdothack

Hi-

Was visiting a friend and telling him about this story; we clicked on the download link, and got an error message. Just thought that you would like to know as it will prevent others from trying your nifty story.

philip

philip wrote:@Mirrowdothack

Hi-

Was visiting a friend and telling him about this story; we clicked on the download link, and got an error message. Just thought that you would like to know as it will prevent others from trying your nifty story.

philip

Thank u so much for telling me.
I was redesigning the website and forget to change the link here. It should work now.^^
Please let me know, if there are any more problems, thank u so much.

Hi-

Thanks for the quick response . . . . and the quick fix. I tried the download link just now and all is well!!

philip

@philip: I'm happy to hear this.^^

@Ran08: Thanks again for playing my VN and I'm really happy you enjoyed it. Hope u'll like Y;N as well^^

@Morhighan: I hope u will like it^^. Thank u for giving it a try^^.

First sorry, for not replying so long. I'm currently moving into another city for my new job^^
So, I might not be able to reply for a while, since I need to find a place to live there and of course... an internet connection^^

fiarose12 wrote:Did you enjoy the KN? Was everything working fine? Yes! The artwork was GORGEOUS.
- Did you find any spelling or grammar mistakes (please list them up if possible)Nope.
- Do you like the story, art and music?Yes! I loved it~especially the motion in the artwork and their heartbeats.
- Do you like the presentation?Yes, I like how it was being told to an audience.
- Anything else to add? / Suggestions? / Ideas for improvement?This was perfect! I really loved it. I would love a sequel or another VN told in this format.
- How long did it take you to read it?10 minutes.

Thank you so much. I am happy you liked it. It was totally fun to do the animatin and motion parts and I'll include those things in my next project as well. Since there are many more stories to tell, I am pretty sure that another one will be told in a similar way ^^
Thx again for reading my little story^^

This looks really interesting! I adore the title.

Also, I read the spoiler(must stop doing that!).

AntiquedFae wrote:This looks really interesting! I adore the title.

Also, I read the spoiler(must stop doing that!).

4 days?!?!!? I am amazed already...!

Thank you very much^^
I wish you much fun with this little VN and I hope you will enjoy it^^

About the spoiler:

- Did you enjoy the KN? Was everything working fine?
- Did you find any spelling or grammar mistakes (please list them up if possible)
- Do you like the story, art and music?
- Do you like the presentation?
- Anything else to add? / Suggestions? / Ideas for improvement?
- How long did it take you to read it?

1. Yes, I did. It was a very nice little story, told in a very neat way.
2. No.
3. Story: yes. Art: yes. Music: yes and no. The tracks themselves are brilliant, but they don't always seem to be in the right place and a few sound too in-your-face for what seems to be a fairly "quiet", low-key story. The heartbeats were a very neat addition, though.
4. Yes. I did expect more from your usage of music after YiN, but it was still very good.
5. Only suggestion is putting a bit more thought in the use of music. I mean, the tracks themselves are better (than in YiN) but the overall sonic atmosphere is much flatter. YiN was brilliant in its handling of music and sound - and of silence, don't forget the silence. Several scenes in this KN could be kicked up another notch by strategic use of silence and/or by switching tracks. Also, next time, please don't put the website button directly "under" the options button - if someone has a faulty mouse or accidentally clicks twice... yeah. It's not too bad in windowed mode, but in fullscreen this can cause some computer slowdown.
6. 20+ minutes, but only because I slowed down the Text Speed setting, because I'm used to text appearing more slowly. My style is "if I want it to appear instantly, I'll just click again". Also, I was voicing the witch in my head just for fun, so that took extra time, too.

Oh my gosh! The story and art for this look so good!
You made the silhouette style work really well, a lot of times it can look almost lazy, but this definitely looks polished.
I'm downloading it now, I'll write more when I finish it!!
I'm definitely excited for you to be making more games~