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yon
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[Project thread is now defunct]

#1 Post by yon » Fri Sep 12, 2014 8:31 pm

[REDACTED]
Last edited by yon on Thu Oct 28, 2021 7:54 pm, edited 4 times in total.

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Re: Yudashi Peril [GxG, Romance Game]

#2 Post by silverpikachu99 » Fri Sep 12, 2014 8:39 pm

THE ART IS ADORABLE!!

I'm gonna go play the demo now :3
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i'll cry if you yell at me
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Re: Yudashi Peril [GxG, Romance Game]

#3 Post by gekiganwing » Fri Sep 12, 2014 10:47 pm

yon wrote:Yudashi Peril is a romance game by and for queer people.
Interesting. I remember a similar work-in-progress called Lilac Melody. It stopped updating early in 2013, and I've been hoping to see a similar story.
yon wrote: In the prosperous town of Myoujoshima, romance is in bloom. Follow Homura Asano, a second-year at the prestigious all-girls academy Ainami, as she becomes closer to her friends and classmates. Your decisions as you play shape Homura’s fate, and the player can see her relationships blossom — or wilt — before their eyes. Who knows what will become of her bonds as they progress? It’s up to you.
In order to think about girl x girl fiction, I made sure to look through the TVTropes article So You Want to Write a Yuri Manga. You might benefit from reading it, and considering what it has to say. A couple of related questions...

* What will your overall tone be? Are you aiming for comedy, drama, relaxation, a combination, or something else?
* What are the main sources of conflict in the story?
* Will the story end with graduation? If so, how will the characters' relationships change from then on?
* How important is the school setting? Will the audience get to see some of the world outside of the Ainami academy?

You mentioned a "navigation map" and "gifts." 1) I'm familiar with the former concept mostly thanks to the first Da Capo game. You can make it clear what will happen if the main character goes to a specific place, though you can make it obtuse if you want. 2) What do you mean by gifts? Will the main character sometimes benefit by purchasing items and then giving them to friends and potential love interests? This happened in Thousand Arms, and I believe it's common in the Harvest Moon franchise.

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Re: Yudashi Peril [GxG, Romance Game]

#4 Post by yon » Sat Sep 13, 2014 3:06 am

In order to think about girl x girl fiction, I made sure to look through the TVTropes article So You Want to Write a Yuri Manga. You might benefit from reading it, and considering what it has to say. A couple of related questions...
I'm not writing this from a yuri manga perspective. It's mostly drawn from my own experiences and views on life and has a heavy focus on characters and their individual development. It should be noted from the get-go that this isn't a stereotypical "I love her, but we're both girls...!" setting, and if I'm totally honest, the current yuri genre is VERY stifling and limited. However, you do raise good questions.
* What will your overall tone be? Are you aiming for comedy, drama, relaxation, a combination, or something else?
Just like real life, it has a mixture of all of the above and more. The tone changes depending on the setting, but I'd say if we were looking at it as an overall theme, it should feel fairly relaxing and almost slice of life-ish.
* What are the main sources of conflict in the story?
Generally, the route's character development and challenge to grow or change as a person, or to better know themselves.
* Will the story end with graduation? If so, how will the characters' relationships change from then on?
Unlike something like Tokimeki, it doesn't span from first year to third year, though I do have a different game planned that will include a similar aspect. As for post-game development and relationships, I think it'd spoil all that if I told you them now.
* How important is the school setting? Will the audience get to see some of the world outside of the Ainami academy?
School's a good place to meet people and try to define yourself, and most high-schoolers base their social lives from their fellow classmates. It naturally follows that deeper relationships form. And yes, a good portion of the game involves going out into the rest of the city and doing things with friends or just spending some time alone.
You mentioned a "navigation map" and "gifts." 1) I'm familiar with the former concept mostly thanks to the first Da Capo game. You can make it clear what will happen if the main character goes to a specific place, though you can make it obtuse if you want. 2) What do you mean by gifts? Will the main character sometimes benefit by purchasing items and then giving them to friends and potential love interests? This happened in Thousand Arms, and I believe it's common in the Harvest Moon franchise.
1) Specifically, during most days, you have the option to look at the city map and choose a place to spend some time. After you pick, you usually find some sort of item or gift to give to your current route, unless you already got the item from that location, or the item isn't available yet.

2) See above.

Thank you for taking your time to bring up these points about the game. It's good to see that people are interested.

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Re: Yudashi Peril [GxG, Romance Game]

#5 Post by Adoxographist » Sat Sep 13, 2014 4:27 pm

Yes! I am thrilled to see a GxG story that doesn't follow pandery yuri tropes. I already knew about the project from tumblr and BTVA, but I'm glad to see you guys made a thread here too!

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Re: Yudashi Peril [GxG, Romance Game]

#6 Post by MoonStar » Sat Sep 13, 2014 4:33 pm

GxG with no yuri? NOOOO!!!! this cant be!!! its like have peanut butter and jelly sandwich but with out the jelly.

Honestly now im actually glad to see a story that is GxG and there is no yuri feels abit more refreshing

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Re: Yudashi Peril [GxG, Romance Game]

#7 Post by yon » Sat Sep 13, 2014 4:46 pm

Again, I feel the "yuri" genre is really unrealistic and often times pretty problematic. Like I said, I wanted to draw from my real-life experiences to write this, and to write a romantic relationship between two girls as, well, a "normal" thing. Because it kind of is. People tend to go into writing queer (lesbian, gay, bi, trans, etc) characters with stereotypes or archetypes in mind based on their identity. It's important to keep in mind that queer people are just people, and by extension, queer characters should be written as though you would write a cis or het character.

That's what I'm trying to accomplish here. I'm trying to tell more of a story than "you get to date girls", which feels so hollow. There isn't an apparent plot at first beyond your own development of relationships and getting to know the other characters better, but it should become clear once you finish it all.

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Re: Yudashi Peril [GxG, Romance Game]

#8 Post by Len » Sat Sep 13, 2014 7:48 pm

Hi all! I'm Percy, and I do secondary writing, character design, and work on the dev blog. I'm relatively new to the world of visual novels/storytelling, but I'm here to help Yon answer questions about the game, characters, genre and direction, etc. to the best of my ability and I look forward to hearing your comments.

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Re: Yudashi Peril [GxG, Romance Game]

#9 Post by Railgun » Tue Sep 16, 2014 3:47 pm

I played the demo and I believe I got all the endings, except Snake's ^^
The characters' portrayal was delightful! They didn't fall in the usual yuri tropes, which was very refreshing :)
I really liked the character art too! It was very consistent with the tone of the story and the characters' personality.
There was still something that bothered me, but maybe it's not like that in the completed game.
I thought the characters were introduced too abruptly...They could have benefited from having a short introduction the first time we met them in the story.
The same goes for certain places.
Also, I thought the build up was very well written for the romanceable characters (even the disturbing Azami XD), except for Yui...
I couldn't feel when the relationship changed from best friends to girlfriends, because there wasn't enough gestures to indicate changes. Like, she could still be her cheery self but she would take the protagonist's hand when she talked, or squeeze her shoulder when she passed by, etc.
Ah but I'm eager to play the completed game :D

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Re: Yudashi Peril [GxG, Romance Game]

#10 Post by yon » Tue Sep 16, 2014 5:40 pm

I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it! As for pacing and writing romance in general, I have to admit the demo is very lacking in this regard. I started writing the demo over a year ago, and I'd like to think I've gotten a lot better since then. Even still, I'm glad you gave it a chance! Thank you for that.

I'll try my best to make the final game even better.

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Re: Yudashi Peril [GxG, Romance Game]

#11 Post by yon » Tue Sep 16, 2014 7:10 pm

Just a reminder: I'd appreciate it if everyone who played the game took the survey, too!

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Re: Yudashi Peril [GxG, Romance Game]

#12 Post by Len » Wed Sep 17, 2014 8:52 pm

Railgun - thanks much for your feedback! I thought, to better address your issues, I could give you info in terms of our direction with Yui in the final game. All of our dateable characters, save Morikawa, will have platonic route options, so the choice of whether you want to date or simply become close with Yui, Snake, and Anisha belongs to the player in the final game. In this aspect, we can make the transition from "just friends" into romantic partners more clear-cut, so to speak. As for "the disturbing" (aptly put) Azami, her romantic route has been cut from the final, and she alone is platonic-only.

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Re: Yudashi Peril [GxG, Romance Game]

#13 Post by Railgun » Fri Sep 19, 2014 6:52 pm

Survey taken! I think it would be better to provide a link in the first post and put it somewhere more obvious on the dev blog ;)

@yon, oh I see. Well, good luck in that case :)
@Len, that's a neat idea!
Question: Will there be CGs?
I would have really loved to see the students' reaction to Anisha's kiss haha

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Re: Yudashi Peril [GxG, Romance Game]

#14 Post by yon » Sat Sep 20, 2014 1:29 pm

Survey taken! I think it would be better to provide a link in the first post and put it somewhere more obvious on the dev blog
Sorry about that. I should fix that.
Question: Will there be CGs?
Yes, if possible. Obviously some scenes are important and would warrant a CG, so I'd like to do that if we can.

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Re: Yudashi Peril [GxG, Romance Game]

#15 Post by bellice » Sat Sep 20, 2014 3:28 pm

Played the demo, loved it.
Not to happy that Azami's route got cut in the final version, mostly because I love forbidden relationships, no matter what form. Oh well, guess I'll just stick to the demo then and keep giggling like an idiot during every playthrough.

Now:
(Forgive me, I'm awful at remembering names.)

1. Snake: Liked her, but I wasn't too happy that the prota had to become so much like her to start a relationship (although it makes sense). Especially when I couldn't tell her to keep her fucking hands off the poor girl she beat up in the hallway. I even had to help her. THAT is the only thing that really bothered me about her route.
2. Indian Girl: Her route was fun and I liked that the prota got the opportunity to defend her against their classmates.
3. Azami: Well, you already know I'm a sucker for forbidden and/or immoral relationships. I had way too much fun making her uncomfortable. Only criticism I have is that I would have liked the relationship to be taken more seriously, since it's kind of a big deal. You know, let them have an honest conversation about what they're gonna do about this. Basically, a tad more realism. But I guess since you decided to cut it anyway, there's not much sense in giving a lengthy talk about that. ;)
4. Best Friend: Probably my least favourite route. Someone else already said it, but I didn't feel like their relationship changed. Apart from the kiss in the doujo, there was nothing, and at the end I kinda wondered whether they were and item now or still just friends.
5. Teacher: Aaaah yes, the fabled student/teacher romance. Another one of those forbidden love stories I get all giggly about. (Especially because I was the kind of student who'd always crush on her young female teachers.) Loved it, of course. I would have liked a bit more tension during the whole thing, though. Ms. Teacher was strangely willing to accept that she's attracted to a student, despite the fact that it could ruin her carrer. Still, probably my favourite route.

I'm not sure what else to say. You just keep doing what you're doing.

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