[CHANGE!] otome demo

[Solry]

Hi all, we have released the demo of CHANGE! - our first otome game project. There are many downloads these days, yet not many reviews are received. So, i really hope that you guys can help us by playing the demos and tell us what you think in term of the artwork, content and translation. ( CHANGE! has 2 versions: Vietnamese and English)
We gonna change the GUI later so please bear with it for now


So, here's the English demo: http://www.mediafire.com/download/a03lb ... ersion.rar
And Vietnamese demo: http://www.mediafire.com/download/omy9w ... ersion.rar

Thanks in advance >w<
Btw, we are running a campaign on Kickstarter for CHANGE! so please support us somehow: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/19 ... otome-game

[mollycubed]

I just finished going through the demo!

The art is great! I love your (or whoever the artist is ;D) style! The characters are all very cute. The background art is great.

The story, though it's been done before, feels unique. I look forward to watching it develop!

The translation still needs work, and if you'd like I can help you out with it a little.

Best of luck!

[Solry]

I just finished going through the demo!

The art is great! I love your (or whoever the artist is ;D) style! The characters are all very cute. The background art is great.

The story, though it's been done before, feels unique. I look forward to watching it develop!

The translation still needs work, and if you'd like I can help you out with it a little.

Best of luck!

Thank you very much for the feedback!
It is true that we dont have any english native speaker to test our translation so there might be some problems. If you're willing to help us, this would be the best. We are in need of a proof reader too.
So first can you please help us point out in which parts of the game the translation's not clear enough? Some people played the demo and told us that some parts dont feel right but they dont know which ones.

[Shaples]

I just finished playing through your demo, and I think I understand why people are having trouble expressing what's "off" about the English version. There are a few places where the word choice feels wrong or is incorrect (like "he is probably a friendly guy with a wide range of communication" - communication isn't the right word here, for example), and a few small errors in things like pluralization or minor punctuation. But a lot of it is more subtle. The word choice and sentence structure aren't necessarily incorrect, but the sentences aren't phrased a way a native speaker would say or write them. Toward the very beginning of the game, the MC says "Loneliness perhaps is something that does not exist in my heart since I still have many adorable and cheerful friends around." It's not wrong, but it sounds, well, like a sentence that's been translated from another language.

I think having a native English speaker work with your translator would help a lot. These sorts of problems can be some of the hardest to catch when you're working in a second language, but will make a big difference in the playability of the game for English speakers.

You mentioned that you plan to revamp your GUI, but I figure it's worth pointing out a few things anyway. First, there's currently no way to go back to the main menu without quitting the game, which I'd like to see implemented. I like the idea of having a log to go back and read previous lines, but it only shows dialogue, not any of the narration, so if you click through too fast, you can't go back and read what you missed. Also, more save slots please

All that said, I think your art is lovely and I'm excited to see where this story goes. Hopefully this was helpful! Best of luck with your kickstarter!

[Solry]

I just finished playing through your demo, and I think I understand why people are having trouble expressing what's "off" about the English version. There are a few places where the word choice feels wrong or is incorrect (like "he is probably a friendly guy with a wide range of communication" - communication isn't the right word here, for example), and a few small errors in things like pluralization or minor punctuation. But a lot of it is more subtle. The word choice and sentence structure aren't necessarily incorrect, but the sentences aren't phrased a way a native speaker would say or write them. Toward the very beginning of the game, the MC says "Loneliness perhaps is something that does not exist in my heart since I still have many adorable and cheerful friends around." It's not wrong, but it sounds, well, like a sentence that's been translated from another language.

I think having a native English speaker work with your translator would help a lot. These sorts of problems can be some of the hardest to catch when you're working in a second language, but will make a big difference in the playability of the game for English speakers.

You mentioned that you plan to revamp your GUI, but I figure it's worth pointing out a few things anyway. First, there's currently no way to go back to the main menu without quitting the game, which I'd like to see implemented. I like the idea of having a log to go back and read previous lines, but it only shows dialogue, not any of the narration, so if you click through too fast, you can't go back and read what you missed. Also, more save slots please

All that said, I think your art is lovely and I'm excited to see where this story goes. Hopefully this was helpful! Best of luck with your kickstarter!

Wow thank you so much! This is a very detail and useful feedback. We will note all of these down to apply on the full version >w<
Anw, it seems like we wont be able to make it without a reliable english native speaker in out team. So we will soon hire one
About the save slots, we limit it to 4 slots in order to make the game a little harder compare to the other otome games with tons of save slots. But... oh well, maybe we will increase them a little, like... 8 or 12 slots hehe

[Shaples]

I see where you're coming from about the save slots. Since you can't "rewind" back through choices, though, and there are so many of them (which I love!), I found myself going "oh no, which save should I overwrite!?" a lot. I think 8 or 12 would help though!