The Reject(GxG)(Supernatural)(Mystery)(Fantasy)

[infel]

Update:
June 4- Aria's sprite added and Logo finished
June 8- Elena's sprite added
June 14- Shion's sprite added


Synopsis-Since she was a child Rinoa has always had a tough life due to her abilities with being able to see the unseeable. With her younger days now behind, she has taken it upon herself to be the watcher of the Spirit Gate and stop any spirits from coming to the human world. Sadly her job is lonely and she has little social interaction with 'normal society'. However after accidentally waking up a demon, Rinoa's life soon takes a turn for the worst and she must now find a way to seal up the gate and bring back the spirits that have escaped. Sadly this will not be easy and soon she'll learn of a much bigger threat that is from her not so welcomed guest.

I know the synopsis might be a little choppy but I'll fix it I promise. This is just an example of what I'm going for.

Anyway, the game is set to be a GxG. It will be mature and free. As the player you have to help Rinoa get her life under control and go through the story of the girl of your choice. Romance is not a definite thing either and, as in real life, the relationships with the girls start out as friendship and will grown slowly over time.


Also here are the characters for the game =). They aren't definite either but this is a rough draft of how they will be for the game.




Tera- A vampire who is searching for a way to break her curse. Since the day of being turned, Tera has resented what she has become and loathes her own self for being weak and allowing a certain demon to turn her into basically the 'walking dead.' Her own self hatred has caused her to care very little about her own life and she's highly reckless when fighting ghouls, zombies, and other vampires. To her the human world is her home though and she rarely goes back to the monster world. Tera holds life as very important and is in a constant battle with herself to not take the lives of the innocent. It's because of this that she has become a bit of shadow to the world and very few know of her existence. What was once loneliness has now turned into a cold heart and the only goal in mind for her is to regain her humanity.



Aria- A witch who follows after Tera to the human realm. Despite her young looking age, Aria is actually around 400 hundred years old but looks young because of a spell she put on herself. Unlike most of her kind, Aria is helpful and fairly friendly with mostly everyone she meets. She has deep admiration for Tera and looks up to her lie an older sister. Sadly she is very bad at hiding her powers and Tera often has to babysit her when they travel to the human world. Though energetic and a bit hyper active, Aria is very self conscious about her powers. Due to always exploding things or accidentally causing curses, her own fellow witches have cast her out and she has no home, which is why she follows Tera. Though a seemingly happy witch, Aria is in a constant struggle with not allowing her powers to get the best of her or once again cause an accidental death.



Elena- A gorgon who is trying to keep her identity a secret. Despite knowing her true heritage for a good portion of her life, Elena has tried to live like a human. With a human mother and gorgon father, she struggles with who she is and how she must go about living. Personality wise Elena is shy and a bit clumsy. She doesn't do well with crowds at all and due to being bullied in the past has little trust in people. Strangely though she is actually very skilled with technology and has some talent in hacking. Of course she doesn't show off this talent since it's not exactly legal. When she meets Akane, Elena's life begins to slowly change and she embraces both her human and gorgon side. However as she learns more about the world of monsters, she will realize just how dangerous her kind actually is and that she may not be able to stay with her friends.


Shion- A lilim who is anything but your average demon. Unlike most of her kind Shion has a fascination with humans. Since she was a child she found the human world to be quite interesting and has always found ways to visit it without her father knowing. Sadly though she's finally gotten caught and was thus banned from her home world never to return. Of course that doesn't bother her much though since she's always wanted to live with that special someone on the other side. Flirty, confident, and passionate, Shion is always ready to speak her mind when it comes to her feelings and is highly romantic. Her love for Rinoa is especially shown and she will do anything to protect the human from her enemies. Shion though is a bit of the jealous type and has a way of being possessive. She's also very secretive however and constantly hides the truth from Rinoa and the accident that she herself had a part in.


Kira- A hellbound who has come to the human world just to cause trouble. Kira is fierce, violent, and highly manipulative. She enjoys toying with humans, especially guys, and has little empathy for the ones she hurts. Her most favorite targets though are Shion and Tera due to them being such powerful beings. Kira is highly arrogant and believes herself to be one of the strongest demons in all the universe. She loves a challenge and will do just about anything to find one. What makes her truly deadly though is when she gets angry. Her temper is what fuels her powers and can be a danger to those all around her including herself. Still she's not a full evil being. Deep down she does have slight goodness but even she doesn't know it yet.


Credits
Art- blood_shiki(on this site) Thank you =). )
Logo-Alexandria (On this site) Thank you =).)
writing-me
Coding-me
Backgrounds-???
Music-???

Questions:

What do you think of the art?

Is the idea good?

Are the characters interesting?

Any advice?

Hope you guys like this thread. I'm a bit scared of posting just because of my lack of confidence. Still, I want to share this with others and am happy for any support this game gets. Thanks again =).

[Sights]

If Rinoa had a boyfriend, why are her only options women? Even if she was bi-sexual, doesn't make sense for women to be the only available partners.

None of the romance options sound like people anyone should date at all. Some characters are very emotionally distant, while others can be obsessive. If we're being honest, if you met someone with qualities like that, you'd know now wasn't the time for them to be dating anyone.

I think the word "love" is being used inaccurately here. A demon you described as "jealous" and "possessive" is not someone you seriously consider dating. Those are the perfect traits for a seductive demon (which is what Shion is). But not for a romantic partner.

The most well-adjusted sounding character is Tera, and her life doesn't sound like it has any room for romance right now. Friendship, maybe. But romance? No.

Aria sounds too childish to take seriously. She wants Tera to turn her because she thinks she'll be "cool" like Tera? I also don't believe that she could supposedly have so much power, but difficulty controlling it whenever she gets "excited." If every time she gets too excited an explosion happens, she likely would have killed or seriously injured herself a long time ago.

I personally don't like Sheath's profile. She has nearly no emotions, save for her master. No other friends or role models, and her entire life revolves around Shion. And that life is the role of a servant, not a friend as an equal.

Kira's profile doesn't make much sense at the end. She's a "hellbound." She's a sadistic, power-hungry demon that's indifferent to whoever she hurts. Creatures like that don't have a hidden goodness inside them. Why would they? And even if she did, that's further proof how "evil" she really is. She can choose to embrace that inner goodness, but doesn't. Which means she's technically evil by choice, not nature, and that makes it even worse.

It also doesn't sound like you defined Ryel as evil, which you should have based on her actions. A genuinely nice person doesn't have a child promise they'll get married when they grow up. They'll date someone from their own species, and not get innocent humans involved in their dangerous affairs.

Plus, no sane person would just marry a demon over a regular person, no matter how friendly they became. If the demon was truly her "friend," she'd say you deserve to live a normal life in the human world as a normal couple, and have a family if you want.

The only character so far that sounds like a possible romance is Tera. And that's after a long time and many hardships, since someone with a life like hers is bound to be full of them. I'd scrap the romance for all the other characters, and write new, more suitable alternatives. Not saying you have to abandon the old characters, though.

Lastly, the premise sounds way too convenient. Think about it: she just happens to cross paths with this one person who can magically grant her a wish?

I wasn't trying to be mean about anything here. I hate how we have to clarify that these days, but I mean it. Those were just my honest thoughts.

[wererat42]

@takkun-hime
I do like the idea, even if the whole "childhood marriage promise" is an anime trope that has been worn into the ground.

Concerning the characters, based on the description you provide, it doesn't really seem like Elena is a type of character that would be involved.

The sprite for Tera is nice, and I look forward to seeing more. Are you planning on the protagonist being visible or not?

@Sights
Whether or not the protagonist had a boyfriend in the past or not shouldn't mean anything. You fall in love with people, not genders. And based on the creator's character summaries, there is some preexisting relationship between her and one of the heroines.

Also, the other characters may not "sound like people anyone should date at all" but that's probably the point. A lot of your criticisms seem to be regarding flaws or personality quirks that define a character, for example you state that Sheath has no emotions save for her master and sounds like a servant and not a "friend or equal" but that sounds like exactly what she is - a servant.

[infel]

If Rinoa had a boyfriend, why are her only options women? Even if she was bi-sexual, doesn't make sense for women to be the only available partners.

None of the romance options sound like people anyone should date at all. Some characters are very emotionally distant, while others can be obsessive. If we're being honest, if you met someone with qualities like that, you'd know now wasn't the time for them to be dating anyone.

I think the word "love" is being used inaccurately here. A demon you described as "jealous" and "possessive" is not someone you seriously consider dating. Those are the perfect traits for a seductive demon (which is what Shion is). But not for a romantic partner.

The most well-adjusted sounding character is Tera, and her life doesn't sound like it has any room for romance right now. Friendship, maybe. But romance? No.

Aria sounds too childish to take seriously. She wants Tera to turn her because she thinks she'll be "cool" like Tera? I also don't believe that she could supposedly have so much power, but difficulty controlling it whenever she gets "excited." If every time she gets too excited an explosion happens, she likely would have killed or seriously injured herself a long time ago.

I personally don't like Sheath's profile. She has nearly no emotions, save for her master. No other friends or role models, and her entire life revolves around Shion. And that life is the role of a servant, not a friend as an equal.

Kira's profile doesn't make much sense at the end. She's a "hellbound." She's a sadistic, power-hungry demon that's indifferent to whoever she hurts. Creatures like that don't have a hidden goodness inside them. Why would they? And even if she did, that's further proof how "evil" she really is. She can choose to embrace that inner goodness, but doesn't. Which means she's technically evil by choice, not nature, and that makes it even worse.

It also doesn't sound like you defined Ryel as evil, which you should have based on her actions. A genuinely nice person doesn't have a child promise they'll get married when they grow up. They'll date someone from their own species, and not get innocent humans involved in their dangerous affairs.

Plus, no sane person would just marry a demon over a regular person, no matter how friendly they became. If the demon was truly her "friend," she'd say you deserve to live a normal life in the human world as a normal couple, and have a family if you want.

The only character so far that sounds like a possible romance is Tera. And that's after a long time and many hardships, since someone with a life like hers is bound to be full of them. I'd scrap the romance for all the other characters, and write new, more suitable alternatives. Not saying you have to abandon the old characters, though.

Lastly, the premise sounds way too convenient. Think about it: she just happens to cross paths with this one person who can magically grant her a wish?

I wasn't trying to be mean about anything here. I hate how we have to clarify that these days, but I mean it. Those were just my honest thoughts.

If Rinoa had a boyfriend, why are her only options women? Even if she was bi-sexual, doesn't make sense for women to be the only available partners.

I don't think who you fall in love with matters. And werecat is right. It's a person you fall in love with. Not what gender they are.

one of the romance options sound like people anyone should date at all. Some characters are very emotionally distant, while others can be obsessive. If we're being honest, if you met someone with qualities like that, you'd know now wasn't the time for them to be dating anyone.

I'm grateful for your thoughts on this but that's actually the point. I don't want the girls to be someone you date just when meeting them. I'm actually glad that they seem like people you shouldn't date. That means a relationship and change can grow over time. Also, like werecat said these are a part of there personalities and give them characters, though I know some do need to be edited.

I think the word "love" is being used inaccurately here. A demon you described as "jealous" and "possessive" is not someone you seriously consider dating. Those are the perfect traits for a seductive demon (which is what Shion is). But not for a romantic partner.

Rinoa is not dating Shion when they meet. As a demon though these are common traits that she has. She doesn't know much on love and has only learned little about it. I'll tell you in Shion's path she's going to grow from this and become more mature.

The most well-adjusted sounding character is Tera, and her life doesn't sound like it has any room for romance right now. Friendship, maybe. But romance? No.

Technically no character is. Romance grows over time in the story. I didn't want to just jumped straight into the romance. I want Rinoa to be an active main character and helped girl the player chooses out. If fact romance might not even be the main point of the story. I can see a cool adventure between Tera and Rinoa and how she must help Tera through her struggles as a vampire =).

Aria sounds too childish to take seriously. She wants Tera to turn her because she thinks she'll be "cool" like Tera? I also don't believe that she could supposedly have so much power, but difficulty controlling it whenever she gets "excited." If every time she gets too excited an explosion happens, she likely would have killed or seriously injured herself a long time ago.

I agree with you on the second part of this so I might change it later on. Still it's funny to think this could happen. As for Aria's personality I'm fine with it. Some people who are even twenty can't always be taken seriously. Also she thinks it's cool yes, but in truth that's not why she wants to become a vampire. I'm not posting the real reason though. And actually a character can have difficulty controlling their power even if they are strong.

I personally don't like Sheath's profile. She has nearly no emotions, save for her master. No other friends or role models, and her entire life revolves around Shion. And that life is the role of a servant, not a friend as an equal.

It's fine if you don't like her. I know people probably won't. However she's suppose to be a servant, at least in her own eyes. For Ryel she is a loyal friend and she actually asks very little of her.

Kira's profile doesn't make much sense at the end. She's a "hellbound." She's a sadistic, power-hungry demon that's indifferent to whoever she hurts. Creatures like that don't have a hidden goodness inside them. Why would they? And even if she did, that's further proof how "evil" she really is. She can choose to embrace that inner goodness, but doesn't. Which means she's technically evil by choice, not nature, and that makes it even worse.

I'm not sure this is entirely true. For most of these characters the reader will no little about them, so many don't know why a character will act a certain way. I believe that even if you're someone who might have so many bad traits that you could be good. Her story will be the most interesting to right since she is technically an anti hero. And unlike Shion she has really studied much of goodness and love so she doesn't know what the feeling is. She acts bad because she's a demon, but slowly becomes good if she gains friendship. Basically she doesn't know she can be good since she's not like a human or monster.

It also doesn't sound like you defined Ryel as evil, which you should have based on her actions. A genuinely nice person doesn't have a child promise they'll get married when they grow up. They'll date someone from their own species, and not get innocent humans involved in their dangerous affairs.

Please don't take this statement in the wrong way but in truth the reader can't possibly know how exactly they made a promise to marry. Still as a demon she does have those common traits. She's still trying to get basic human emotions. Still due to it being a cliche i will change that since it's a bit weird. Still I believe Shion is far from evil in truth. Also, sorry for the confusion in names. I've been changing them around.

Plus, no sane person would just marry a demon over a regular person, no matter how friendly they became. If the demon was truly her "friend," she'd say you deserve to live a normal life in the human world as a normal couple, and have a family if you want.

I'm a bit mixed on this. Rinoa didn't know she was a demon though. I suppose that could make Shion look a bit bad but she didn't start learning about human emotions till meeting Rinoa. I don't know....I'll probably change that little bit though.

I'd scrap the romance for all the other characters, and write new, more suitable alternatives. Not saying you have to abandon the old characters, though.

I'm grateful for your thoughts but I won't do this. I will edit them but am keeping these flaws. They're important and I'm actually glad they have them. It means there's much story and that the characters actually have to form strong bonds. If I just made suitable alternatives it would feel fake. They could either fall in love quickly or barely have problems that didn't have to do with romance. For me these girls and the flaws they have make them who they are. I think they'll be more interesting for the player that way.

Lastly, the premise sounds way too convenient. Think about it: she just happens to cross paths with this one person who can magically grant her a wish?

I'll likely edit the premise but i kind of like it in the end.


Anyway I'm grateful for the thought you put into this. I think the major thing that made me think was how the characters are not datable because they have flaws and quirks. Don't everyone in the world have those? I believe it makes for a more interesting story for the girls to grow. I don't want them to be someone the main girl can just date since that doesn't always make for a good story. For the most part I'm going to keep them as is but rework them a bit.

[infel]

@takkun-hime
I do like the idea, even if the whole "childhood marriage promise" is an anime trope that has been worn into the ground.

Concerning the characters, based on the description you provide, it doesn't really seem like Elena is a type of character that would be involved.

The sprite for Tera is nice, and I look forward to seeing more. Are you planning on the protagonist being visible or not?

@Sights
Whether or not the protagonist had a boyfriend in the past or not shouldn't mean anything. You fall in love with people, not genders. And based on the creator's character summaries, there is some preexisting relationship between her and one of the heroines.

Also, the other characters may not "sound like people anyone should date at all" but that's probably the point. A lot of your criticisms seem to be regarding flaws or personality quirks that define a character, for example you state that Sheath has no emotions save for her master and sounds like a servant and not a "friend or equal" but that sounds like exactly what she is - a servant.

I do like the idea, even if the whole "childhood marriage promise" is an anime trope that has been worn into the ground.

Thank you so much! And you're right. It's a bad cliche since it's been used so much. I'll think of something new for that part =).

Concerning the characters, based on the description you provide, it doesn't really seem like Elena is a type of character that would be involved.

And really? Ah, I think I see it. She does seem the most out of place. I'll think of something new for her so having her in the story isn't weird =).

The sprite for Tera is nice, and I look forward to seeing more. Are you planning on the protagonist being visible or not?

And thank you ^^. blood_shiki has been working hard on the art and has done a great job in designing them himself =). As for the main character she'll have art for herself. I'm just waiting for the main to be done.

Also, the other characters may not "sound like people anyone should date at all" but that's probably the point. A lot of your criticisms seem to be regarding flaws or personality quirks that define a character, for example you state that Sheath has no emotions save for her master and sounds like a servant and not a "friend or equal" but that sounds like exactly what she is - a servant

I'm grateful for you saying this. I'm happy they have flaws and quirks ;_;. In too many visual novels the characters are usually perfect and I hope to avoid that with this. As for Sheath I may have a bit of a problem with her. I'm guessing I didn't convey well that Shion actually sees her as a friend and barely asks anything of her =(.

[DarkSin]

I'm very interested in this. The art is great, I like the premise and I love the characters! I'll be keeping an eye on this

A note - I don't see 90% of the "flaws" Sights pointed out. The other 10% can be chalked down to personal preference. Characters ought to be imperfect. It would be boring and unrealistic otherwise. Also in VNs not everyone starts out as being complete "date-material". In fact it's better if they didn't. Character growth is always interesting to see.

[Mad Harlequin]

One thing that nobody's pointed out yet: the title sounds like a drug reference if viewed through a certain lens. Were you perhaps going for Stone Heart? (Yes, I know the title's pending.)

[infel]

One thing that nobody's pointed out yet: the title sounds like a drug reference if viewed through a certain lens. Were you perhaps going for Stone Heart? (Yes, I know the title's pending.)

Really 0_0? It does sound like that now that I think about. And yes....T-that's what I meant. I'm so sorry. Thank you for telling me .

[infel]

I'm very interested in this. The art is great, I like the premise and I love the characters! I'll be keeping an eye on this

A note - I don't see 90% of the "flaws" Sights pointed out. The other 10% can be chalked down to personal preference. Characters ought to be imperfect. It would be boring and unrealistic otherwise. Also in VNs not everyone starts out as being complete "date-material". In fact it's better if they didn't. Character growth is always interesting to see.

Thank you so much ^^! I'll be sure to tell my artist that. He's working really hard. And I'm glad you like the characters and premise. I'm still working on the premise though it's something like the one I have now. Also, the characters, though they will have some reworking, will stay the same as well.

And thank you =). That's what I'm going for and can hopefully make them all likable for those who play. It's true Sheath and Shion might be a bit confusing so I might have to change something.

[wererat42]

Was kind of hoping to see some more character designs. Any idea when/if you'll update this thread?

[infel]

Was kind of hoping to see some more character designs. Any idea when/if you'll update this thread?

So sorry for the wait DX. I'm currently waiting on my artist to finish the line art for Shion and once he does, I'll be sure to post her next. Hoping that will be in the next week.

[infel]

Sorry for the delay in updating :-;. Now with summer though I'm hoping to get The Reject and Reach for the Stars going. Anyway here's a pick of Aria, the passionate witch =).

[wererat42]

Aria looks pretty cute, but one thing I've noticed in common with both sprites, is that their outfits looks somewhat ordinary. There's really no visual cues that indicate they're anything other than normal humans. This would make sense if they were trying to 'blend in' with humans, but I'd kind of expect at least Shion to have horns or Kira to have dog ears.

[infel]

Aria looks pretty cute, but one thing I've noticed in common with both sprites, is that their outfits looks somewhat ordinary. There's really no visual cues that indicate they're anything other than normal humans. This would make sense if they were trying to 'blend in' with humans, but I'd kind of expect at least Shion to have horns or Kira to have dog ears.

Thank you ^^. Oh and don't worry. Both Kira and Shion have demon forms that I'll post soon. You're right about Aria and Tera. Aria is actually in her casual wear though. Once my artist is done with school we'll be working on more outfits and I'll give her a more supernatural look =). As for Tera, her clothes do look common. I'll need to get a new outfit for her. What I do like about this one though is that it looks like she would be able to move around with ease in it XD. Anyway, thank you so much for the advice =). I'm soon going to show either Shion or Kira in their monster form =).

[polarisked]

Ahh---- The art is so beautiful! QAQ /cries bc of gorg art

I like this idea! Normally I don't go for GxG, but I /saw/ that there'll be demon forms!! ((Bet it's gonna be awesome too QAQ)) Can't wait to see your BG art too *q* /addicted to this!/

I'm just curious, how far is the "mature"-ness in this game? Since I'm interested to play this, this would be the first GxG game I'm getting my hands on! Just wanted to know what I'm gonna see xD

Oh, and I love how the girl's relationships are going to grow over time instead of directly jumping in the romancing part! ((its a plus for newbies like me OTL))