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[chokkidre]

Please delete.

[chokkidre]

70 views and not a single comment? Tsk tsk.

[sake-bento]

This does sound like a very interesting game. Personally, I'd love to see how it plays out. I can't offer up my services right now since I'm in school and I don't want to make a commitment I can't keep. But I'll definitely keep my eye on this.

[chokkidre]

Yay, a comment. XP

I totally understand, and thanks for the compliment.

[bloodywyvern]

Oh not too bad, studentXteacher= win. I'll look forward to seeing what you do with it ^_^ though I'm not a very good editor, so I won't volunteer (plus I'm kind of swamped >.>;;).

Uh...*holds out hands*...cookie time now...?

[chokkidre]

Haha, thanks!

*hands you a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie*

[papillon]

70 views and not a single comment? Tsk tsk.

Personally, my eyes glaze over when faced with a huge long list of characters like that, especially in the standard profile format which is full of all sorts of data I really don't need. Starsigns and favorite foods are okay for individual profile webpages (although even there, I probably won't pay attention to them) but in an overview they just load me up with trivia until I can't see the big picture anymore. I keep skimming over the list trying to get a general idea of what kind of game it is, but I can't tell.

I'd feel better able to take in the game if you just summed up people other than the main character quickly and then expressed what the feeling of the game was like... what the player's experience is intended to be like. Not details on the full cast. After all, I'm going to meet all these characters in the game and hopefully they will be well-presented there and I will learn the information I need to know about them and learn to care about them... I don't need or want to know their secrets just yet. (And depending on how far along you are with the work, details may change anyway.)

As it is, I can't take all that in. All I see so far is 'School game, possibly with a focus on studentxteacher and a big cast.'

[chokkidre]

Yup, totally understand what you're saying. I'm new to all of this so I thought it was enough to just copy and paste the character's profiles but it makes sense to give you an overall picture instead of a laundry list. I'll edit the first post so you can have a better view of the generalized picture. Thanks for your honesty. I mean that. :]

As far as what the player's experience is intended to be like, I guess you'll have to play the game to find out.

[monele]

Wow... I refrained from saying anything because I stopped after the two first characters and didn't feel like reading all the others... but I'm glad I was not alone to be put off by the quantity . I do also suggest having a little summary of the story as a whole (or the theme at least), and only have descriptions of the most peculiar characters, including the main ones.

[chokkidre]

Haha, you guys are killing me. Kidding! XD

I totally appreciate the advice I'm getting. I learn something new everyday. :"P
Yeah, I'll be sure to add in the summary of the story as a whole but I'm going to wait until I get at least halfway through with the script before I do. Like papillon mentioned, the details may change.

[bloodywyvern]

Well yeah...but now you have nothing up as a proof of concept >.> You might want to have a rough summary based off what is decided on already, any character bio's should be a few sentences max...forget the pointless parts.

[chokkidre]

Good idea. What I have up is the main focus of the game... I'm not worrying about putting the character's bio up right now. Oh, and excellentcoffee volunteered to edit my script so I'm not looking for an editor anymore.

[monele]

Yeah, I'll be sure to add in the summary of the story as a whole

Not the *whole* story eh? ^^;... Just a little intro to the world and mood of the game would be good . Try to think you're advertising for the game (as if it was already done or you were trying to pitch the project to a producer ) and write one or two paragraphs that describe what the game is about.