First project (Voids : The Beginning)

[yanario]

Currently i'm working on my project. I just want all of you to give me an advice for the story.


Synopsis :

The story is set long before dinosaurs age. When ANGELS and DEMONS live together. You will play as "Main Protagonist" (I still haven't decided the name). He is one of the Angels. He is the destined child to be Angel's savior. Usually Angels can spread their wings when their at 16. But, "Main Protagonist" cannot. He is now at 17. He's called "The Failure" with the people around him because he can't spread his wings. But with his mother support he keep his ambition to become the "Strongest Angels". But there is something with Angels that cannot spread their wings at 16. Only the chosen one can spread their wings at 17, they are called The Generations of Gods. The 10 chosen Angels in every century to serve the "King". But in this decade there are "11" chosen Angels. The Oracle never wrong. The Oracle predict only 10 chosen Angels in every century. Who is the remaining 1 Angels? Is he an ally or a foe?

Read as the story follows in this dark and gore + romance story between "Main Protagonist" and "Main Heroine".






So after reading this Synopsis what do you all think? Do i need some modification for the story or did anybody have a suggestion for the "Main Protagonist" name?



~sorry for my bad english

[Otoke_Neko]

Hm, why don't you let the player choose the name instead? The story is really interesting.

[Parataxis]

It seems to me like you have given us a pretty good set up, but very little story.

What does your character want? How does his chosen status change how he lives his life? What happens when the other angles find out--as they should have already if its been a year? Is he revered, is he hated?
What about when people find out that he's an extra who's note supposed to be there? Is he cast out of angel society? Is he mistrusted? Are people split on how to feel about him? Does your character seize on the opportunity to finally be some one special? Or does he strive always to just fit in and be some one ordinary?

These questions should be the backbone of your story, and even the pitch of your story to people. I feel like you probably know a bit more than the above about where your story is headed, but I can't really get invested until I know a bit more about who your character is and what his stakes and tension in the story are. What does he want? Why is he the main character?

[Taleweaver]

This is something for our Ideas forum, not something suited to the more general Creator Discussion forum.

Moved.