The Clean- Demo included

[Mistik]

The Clean
Picture of father and brother

On a floating island (Kiri), a utopia for evil geniuses, upon coming of age this one apprentice has been sentenced to die, unless He can make a girl fall in love with him with in 7 days. He must make her fall in love with him then bring her back to be killed and sacrificed for his evil genius inauguration ceremony.

-I'm going for 5 girls with 2 endings each.
-The demo covers about 1/7th of the story.
-So far it has no music and some of the art scenes are place holders or are missing.
Thank you

concept art

[papillon]

Ummmm.... I wouldn't mind reading a static story with that plotline, particularly if I were hoping for a last-minute reversal in the character's motivations leading to a happier ending after all, but I'd feel slightly uncomfortable actively playing a character who is solely out to make someone love him and die for him. That seems even crueller than the usual dark game plot, and makes me not really want to identify with or care about anyone involved...

[Mistik]

Well the reason I want there to be two endings for each girl, are the good endings where you don't end up killing them and the bad ones where you do.

[Blue123]

Go for it. The fact that there's a chance of danger/whatnot makes me more interested in the characters and their details. the darkness of the whole thing would would probably hold over my interest longer than most VN's.

[4394]

I'll give this a shot.
Sounds interesting. =)

[Mistik]

Right now the demo is all I have written. I would like to know if people had any problems with the story,plot or characters, because now I'm deciding how I'm going to plan out the rest of the game.

[4394]

I didn't have any problems with the story per se, but something left me a little lost. Maybe I'm just being slow, but how are Mitsuko and Keichi related? It's never cleared up in that infirmary scene where Keichi's introduced, and it left me a little lost. Curious, but lost. Did you plan on elaborating on that later in the story, which is why you left it out, or did you perchance overlook that? They seem like rivals or something, which is pretty cool.

Also, I'm lovin' Hanna. I hope she's as sweet a girl as the demo makes her out to be. ::

[Mistik]

Really honestly thanks for playing and I'm glad you like one of the characters...Yosh....
gah... guess I forgot to mention they are brothers. If you choose the other answer for the first question, the brother is a lil more talkative.

[4394]

Is that so? I'll have to replay that route.
I kept replaying the Hanna one 'cause, I'll be honest, she's just my kind of girl.
Heh.

[Mistik]

You should be happy then. Hanna has two routes in the demo.
can't wait till you get a demo up for your game It really has me intrigued.

[4394]

Hah, thanks. I've almost got enough artwork down to make a demo -- one should be out in the next couple weeks, depending on whether or not my mediocre coding skills fail me. Ehehe.

Also: replayed the second route, chased down Hanna.
She's a bundle of love.
(I could put in a really corny 'the cake is a lie!' joke here, but I'll refrain. Hehe.)

[Mistik]

Do you think I should post pictures and such, or would that be considered kind of spoilerish?

[4394]

I don't think it's spoilerish at all.
A lot of folk are enticed by good art, which yours is, so I think you'd do well to show us some.
::
A Hanna sprite would be nice--
*shot*

[Mistik]

Here's a picture of the main characters brother and father.
I also added a couple of pictures to the main post
Bro and pops

[4394]

Nice work! I see your dl rates have gone up already.