CLEANSERS [a short KN] [supernatural/psychological]

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mori
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Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2016 4:31 pm
Completed: CLEANSERS
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CLEANSERS [a short KN] [supernatural/psychological]

#1 Post by mori » Thu Aug 11, 2016 9:36 pm

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C L E A N S E R S is a short (10-15 minute) introductory kinetic novel about two students who clean shrines and cleanse spirits from dead bodies in order to guide their souls to the afterlife.


this is my first attempt at creating something with renpy.
it took me just under a week to write and draw this from scratch and learn how to use the basic renpy functions, but it was a really fun process!
all of the art and music is done by me.

i would appreciate your feedback and constructive criticism. please let me know what to improve on so i can try to make better visual novels in the future!
thank you so much!
cleansers.png
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Last edited by mori on Sat Feb 10, 2018 4:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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akareed
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Re: CLEANSERS [a short KN] [supernatural/psychological]

#2 Post by akareed » Fri Aug 12, 2016 3:50 pm

This was a quick, entertaining read!
But before I go any deeper, I have to make sure I show the appreciation to the fact that this was done in just under one week! :shock: Even NaNoRenO's 1-month limit was a huge challenge.

One word that popped up in my mind as I finished it was: cute. Not just the ending, there were even some scenes where I thought the demon was quite charming. I can see how some young readers will want to pick this up.
A thing that I've been questioning is in regards to the character God. She seems to be added in as a comical character, was that the main purpose of her character?

I really like how the sprites are not too static since they move around the scene to portray what's happening. It'd be interesting to see how you can improve your games when there's more time to spend on its development, like GUI and such.

To wrap it out, I do think that it was an enjoyable game overall as I've said so in the beginning.
Keep creating and improving!
Attachments
Screen Shot 2016-08-12 at 3.49.39 PM.png
Quick Yumi Fanart!
↓ check out gallery and projects I've worked on with fellow creators! ↓
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mori
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Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2016 4:31 pm
Completed: CLEANSERS
Contact:

Re: CLEANSERS [a short KN] [supernatural/psychological]

#3 Post by mori » Tue Aug 16, 2016 6:15 pm

akareed wrote:This was a quick, entertaining read!
But before I go any deeper, I have to make sure I show the appreciation to the fact that this was done in just under one week! :shock: Even NaNoRenO's 1-month limit was a huge challenge.

One word that popped up in my mind as I finished it was: cute. Not just the ending, there were even some scenes where I thought the demon was quite charming. I can see how some young readers will want to pick this up.
A thing that I've been questioning is in regards to the character God. She seems to be added in as a comical character, was that the main purpose of her character?

I really like how the sprites are not too static since they move around the scene to portray what's happening. It'd be interesting to see how you can improve your games when there's more time to spend on its development, like GUI and such.

To wrap it out, I do think that it was an enjoyable game overall as I've said so in the beginning.
Keep creating and improving!
thank you so much for reading!!! first of all, oh my gosh that fan art of yumi is awesome!! it made my week! thank you so much, i'm seriously really happy about it! ahaha your quick fan art is better than my try-forever-to-draw-a-character art!

but anyway, thanks a lot for the feedback!
for god, i imagined a kawaii anime girl who is super carefree and doesn't take her job very seriously at times. when i make a full length VN of this someday, god will definitely be a character that you interact with and learn a lot more about. in this story though, she's mainly comic relief.

i wanted to add more sprites and emotions and whatnot, but i figured since this was such a short story i should focus more on learning renpy first! i'm glad the sprites moving around held attention at least! my next project will definitely have a custom made GUI and other things of that sort. i'll work on the next one a lot more!

again, thank you so much akareed! i really appreciate your comments!

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