Ah, Mammon. Where do I begin?
Truth be told, yanderes are one of my favorite character types, and
Pervert and Yandere has far more depth than I would have expected from the title.
You've made wonderful use of the unreliable narrator (something I've used in one of my games before, much to the psychological distress of everyone involved). It's a fun device that caught me sweetly off guard. But it's what I feel turns this narrative on its head and really gives it substance.
The first ending I reached was the Pervect Ending, followed by the Lucky one.
Now, before I continue, there's something that must be said. This is very important to note. I am not equipped for what goes on in Richard's mind. I was aware of the premise and I read your warning, but somehow, I wasn't ready. You know, when I read books, visual novels, or anything at all, I'm usually silent and straight-faced. It doesn't mean that I don't enjoy it, but I'm just not usually that expressive. I'm someone who would never be chosen for a live studio audience. But with Richard, I think I was aghast half of the time. I'm a writer by passion, but I can't even think of the words to describe it.
Like, "D:" explains what my face was almost literally doing. Just -
D:
This isn't by any means a criticism. Rather, I would say you did a very good job capturing what goes on in a pervert's head.
(At least, I assume so. I've never actually asked one what they were thinking, and I have no plans on doing that any time soon. Also, it probably wouldn't be polite to label someone outright as a pervert.) I kept volleying between finding this man likable (like when he didn't want to see a young woman in tears) to...to...killing me. Just killing me. His whole plan with Vanessa...
D: x100
I-It felt almost like watching a trainwreck, where you want to look away but somehow never did...
But...but anyway, as I was saying...when I went through the first two endings, I wasn't very satisfied with them. It didn't feel quite like a Good Ending, even though, by all rights, they should have been more or less.
When I discovered brand new choices that opened up brand new paths, my interest was piqued.
There was more to this story, and you didn't disappoint. All the pieces began to fit together, and the characters were starting to become better and better fleshed out. I was determined to find out what was going on, and I loved how each ending revealed a part of the puzzle.
The main menu screen ended up fitting the narrative so well.
The characters were all nicely done, each having their own role in the story. I was particularly fond of Vanessa, Kim, and yes, Ms. Aberdeen! Vanessa is a nice yandere who still feels like a real person, while Kim's determination and cleverness makes her likable.
(And the fact that Richard thought the latter up makes this character even more intriguing.)
As for Ms. Aberdeen, I honestly like how much she really seems to care about her students. Other than these three, I found Daniella interesting and I do wish the librarian girl could have made an appearance. Her relationship with Charles sounded cute.
While Richard's brain makes me uncomfortable, I don't actually dislike him or anyone else in the cast. Though, I have known women who act like Cloe. Ah, and the part about jocks and popular girls having to get together like a loveless business arrangement? My dad was the basketball captain in high school, so I can tell you that's definitely true.
The part about wiggling the big toe was a Kill Bill reference, right? Ah, and I also caught the references to anime such as
Princess Tutu and
Clannad.
(And I'm not sorry to say that School Days is one of my favorite anime. But after my experience with Richard, I think I can see I don't want to know what goes through Makoto's head. Ever.)
I can tell you really put a lot of effort and love into this story. After looking over all the bonuses, it's clear an incredible amount of forethought went into planning, extending all the way to the detailed aftermath you wrote in the profiles. You've even gone through scrapped sequels and concepts, which tells me your creativity's constantly sparked and flying.
You've spent over a year and a half with these characters, and you've built your own world. From one writer to another, it makes me think it'd be fun to write, like, a crossover fic with you.
Really, as your first game, you've done a great job. It'll surely be a stepping stone for even better things. I'm already curious with what you showed in the teaser section.
It was both chilling and fascinating. One of my uncles actually had schizophrenia, so this will be interesting to see. Oh, and I loved Simon's schtick of "Simon says." It's creepy in a good way. (Just please tell me that Frank's thoughts won't be like Richard's. I'm only kidding, of course. Sort of...just how much do you want to kill me, Mammon?)