Pitching your VN

[rito]

This actually comprises both a personal question and a more general one. Please feel free to comment on just one or the other.

First, on pitching VNs versus pitching books.
Books, at least traditionally published novels, tend to have a rigid structure for pitching to various people--there's a query letter for the agent, a one-line pitch for the editors, and a back cover blurb for the readers (this is overly simplified, but bear with me). Movies have one- or two-line pitches too, the kind you see on Netflix when you're browsing.
The question is, how does that apply for VNs? I get the feeling many topics here have fairly long descriptions, as well as the game's page in places like itch.io or the dev's website. Feels like the only place where I consistently see short pitches is Kickstarter, where one needs something shorter potential backers will see when browsing. Is the VN public more willing to read as a whole? Is that just poor planning? I'd love to hear opinions on the subject.

Now, as for my specific issue: I'm working on a heavily character-driven KN. There isn't a hook, like someone must be saved or a huge secret is revealed, that starts the story; it's just two people whose lives change after meeting each other.
For traditional VNs, the love interests are a big part of the pitch. Who's never played a VN because one (or more) of the romanceable characters was just their type? Since there's only one such character in a romance KN, chances are that trick won't work. Do you know good pitches for character-driven work in any linear media?

[Imperf3kt]

As someone who's tired of the generic boy meets girl, boy pursues girl mechanics, I don't think you need anything special.
Just make sure you tell people the general plot and word it so they understand there's only one romance in the story.
ie: The tale of two people whose lives are forever changed upon a chance meeting. Will they fall in love, or is their meeting not as meaningful as they believe?

I wrote that in about ten seconds with absolutely no context so take it how you will.

[KittyWills]

I would check out other KNs in your genre and see what they do. Don't blatantly copy anyone, but see what trends are popular is a good pitch. No need to reinvent the wheel. I browsed around the WIP threads before putting mine together just to get a feel of what the community expects.

That said, I'm assuming when you say "pitch" you mean just making synopsis posts on here or on your website. If you talking about pitching to a company or team to pick up your idea. That's a whole other game. =/

[rito]

That said, I'm assuming when you say "pitch" you mean just making synopsis posts on here or on your website. If you talking about pitching to a company or team to pick up your idea. That's a whole other game. =/

Ah, definitely. I just want to get it out there, not get someone to pick it up.

[Yunou]

I think any kind of story, regardless of media, should be able to be summarized in 1 - 2 sentences. This is the same for visual novels or kinetic novels. After the reader is hooked, then you can elaborate more in a kind of "back of the book cover" way. I think a lot of VNs personally have too long of an introduction--it should be short and sweet but character blurbs could pad some additional information if wanted.

I am guessing your work is somewhat slice-of-life so focus on who your characters are and make readers care about them. Why do their lives change after meeting one another?

Examples:

Bad: "When Ellie met Mary, everything changed."
Better: "Ellie's careful world turns upside down after meeting Mary."
Best: "After discovering a stranger's phone on the bus, Ellie never expected that finding its owner--the wild and charming Mary--would change her world forever."

Not the best examples because I'm writing in a hurry, but you get what I mean. In the last pitch, we can learn a little more about Ellie and Mary. Ellie's actions of personally trying to locate the phone's owner make her seem like a good person at heart, and Mary's description could lead people to believe she might be a little more prone to flirt and break some rules. These 25 words can also lead us to wonder how Ellie located Mary, did she go through her phone and, if so, what did she find, and of course how did her life change after meeting Mary? All without any major plot or secret.

If you are talking about advertising on KickStarter or even here, a short pitch like that would be good to hook people to read more about the story. Then you could write 1 - 2 short paragraphs going into more depth about what to expect following it.

I don't know if that helps at all.

[Katy133]

Movies have one- or two-line pitches too, the kind you see on Netflix when you're browsing.

That is actually a "logline." Not a pitch. Films and series for Netflix actually include entire booklets for pitching purposes.

I think what will help at this point is creating a list of terms related to pitching, what those terms mean, and what their functions are:

• Logline: A one/two sentence summary/description of the entire work. Also known as a "elevator pitch" (meaning the summary should be shorter than an elevator ride). This is used to quickly explain the project to someone who is totally unfamiliar with it, and may not have a lot of time to read an entire page/booklet/etc about the work.
• Hook: A thing designed to catch people's attention. This can be an early plot twist, a fresh game mechanic, or a gimmick of some sort.
• Query letter: A letter sent to a publisher or studio asking for their time; their time to check out your work, or let you pitch your work to them.
• Pitch: The act of meeting up with a person to formally show them your project's concept with the hope of them greenlighting it, giving you feedback, or giving you money/resources to help make/complete it. This term can also apply to Kickstarters.
• Pitch Bible: A (usually ten-page) booklet explaining the basics of your project. This includes things like the plot, characters, setting, game mechanics, and concept art. This booklet is usually presented during a pitch.
• Bible: Also known as a "production bible." This is a larger, more-detailed version of the pitch bible, and includes things like rules to the fictional world (things like "how magic in the story" works, etc) and what you can/can't have the characters do (eg: "Rule 5: The two main characters should never become love interests"). The production bible is given to the people involved with the project so that they all have a similar vision as to what the finished project should look like.
• Blurb: A short description of a work written that appears on the cover of a book/in an advertisement/on the game's storefront page. This is different from a logline because it's used for promotional/marketing purposes, rather than production/pitching purposes.
• High Concept: A concept for a work that is naturally good at communicating what it is about and easily gets a person's attention. Fantasy stories are generally this because they tend to have plots about adventures and saving the world.
• Low Concept: A concept for a work that is more concerned with character development and other subtleties that aren't as easily summarized to a person who is unfamiliar with the work. Slice of life stories are generally this because they tend to have a small scale and are about an "ordinary" person, with non-life-threatening stakes.

The question is, how does that apply for VNs? I get the feeling many topics here have fairly long descriptions, as well as the game's page in places like itch.io or the dev's website. Feels like the only place where I consistently see short pitches is Kickstarter, where one needs something shorter potential backers will see when browsing. Is the VN public more willing to read as a whole? Is that just poor planning? I'd love to hear opinions on the subject.

So, how does this all relate back to visual novels? Well, basically, all of the above things I've listed in bullet-points can be applied to a VN as much as it can be applied to any for of media. Each "thing" (logline/bible/blurb/etc) is used for different purposes, and depending on what your current situation is, or what stage of production you're currently at, you will use a different "thing."

Now, as for my specific issue: I'm working on a heavily character-driven KN. There isn't a hook, like someone must be saved or a huge secret is revealed, that starts the story; it's just two people whose lives change after meeting each other.
For traditional VNs, the love interests are a big part of the pitch. Who's never played a VN because one (or more) of the romanceable characters was just their type? Since there's only one such character in a romance KN, chances are that trick won't work. Do you know good pitches for character-driven work in any linear media?

Basically, I think for your current situation, you've got a low concept work (and I mean that in a good way--I love works with low concepts because they often feel more personal). The problem with low concepts is that they are hard to summarise in a way that is eye-catching. So you'll have to come up with a creative way to make your logline/blurb attention-grabbing and interesting, yet honest.

For KN examples with good pitches... I haven't played enough KNs to give proper examples. So instead, I'd say go look at a bunch of KNs and read each promotional summary/pitch and ask yourself if they caught your attention or not. Then use that to help you list ways to make your own KN attention-getting.

Hope this helps!

[rito]

@Yunou I agree with you! Feels like too many VNs, including high-profile ones, spend too much of their summaries describing the setting before getting to anything I should care about.
And thank you so much for the example, it really helped ♥

@Katy133 Thank you for the very detailed response!
Yeah, the term "elevator pitch" is why I called this "pitching". Also because it was the only word I remembered ^^; the ESL woes

Also, you're definitely right there, I'm a low concept person all the way through. Will look for more works like that and check out their pitches.