Limabaen wrote:Some thoughts while listening (unfortunately I can't give any technical advice because I'm not a musician):
- I feel like it doesn't really...go anywhere? Like it just starts, there's no build up and then it quickly ends.
- It seems kind of suited to an action/cyber vn. The piece sounds rather urgent, esp. because of the astringent guitar(?) sound and fast beat. In fact, it almost sounds like a boss battle theme for an RPG. But at the same time I can't really picture myself reading to it for extended periods of time.
- I like the little patter of drums around 2:23.
- I looped it several times to get a better feel of it. It's not annoying the first few times but it does get old after around repeat number four because of the harsh twangy kind of vibe it has. As stated above, it's rather intense action-y and I feel somewhat exhausted after listening to it a few times.
What kind of scenario would this music be used in? Tell me if my observations are way out of left field, e.g. if you plan on using it once for a sudden, high-intensity battle sequence in which case please ignore everything I've written.
Thanks for the feedback!
1- Yeah...the intro was made last, and I didn't really know what to do with it.
I felt like it might be too short or abrupt! I will focus on making it longer next time around. You mentioned that it didn't really go anywhere. Perhaps I could add different guitar riffs as the song goes along?
2- Oh, nice observation! I am working on a post-cyperpunk story. Although I didn't consider what type of scene this would fit in advance, I also think it might work with an action sequence. I tried reading a scene with this particular song. In truth, I don't know yet...
It's a guitar sound, yes. I've done work on RPGs, so this style might be an unintended habit.
3- Me too. I thought it might help bridge onto the next part.
4- Harsh and twangy. If I had to describe it, that would actually make for a perfect description of the main riff.
I can't listen to it several times over without feeling somewhat drained as well. At first, I thought that was because I heard it upwards of 100 times while making the song, but as it turns out the tune really is exhausting! Haha...sorry about that. So I really need to work on making the music easy on the ears long-term. I call it a "loop-ability factor", and it appears to be on the lower end of the spectrum.
Your observations were right on the mark, by the way! It looks like I have a lot to work toward.
Yunou wrote:So, I don't know much about music besides listening to it, but here are my thoughts.
I really, really liked 00:29 - 00:56, and 1:26 - 1:53 and the the 02:53 outro. Fantastic!
The intro seems very abrupt to me and it startled me a bit. It seems like it's trying to ease into the main part of the song, but the easing in period is only like 1 or 2 seconds. I think it might be better to stick with either elongating the easing in period or just start it abruptly where it begins at like 00:02ish. It just feels like it can't make up it's mind how to start.
I do really like the main rift (?) part of the song that starts at the beginning and 00:56. It's a really catchy tune. At first it seemed a little dated-sounding but I like it. I think the instrument itself makes it sound a little dated but it's still good nonetheless. I like it.
Limabaen wrote:What kind of scenario would this music be used in? Tell me if my observations are way out of left field, e.g. if you plan on using it once for a sudden, high-intensity battle sequence in which case please ignore everything I've written.
I agree with this as well. I don't know what you are using it for, but when I was listening to it, I pictured a scene in which the MC has to book it out of a situation or is being confronted by a group of guys who want to fight him. A scene that wouldn't take an exceptionally long time to read, but that would need to have a sense of urgency.
Anyway, hope this helped with what you were looking for in terms of feedback! It's really catchy, overall, and I feel like there is a lot of depth to it.
Also - I liked the drums.
1- I appreciate the compliments. Getting things to sound okay was a mildly painful process.
2- Ah, I'm so sorry for startling you! I didn't quite...intend for that to happen. I mentioned it earlier, but I was a little unsure about the intro and did a quick build-up, but based on the advice here I also think it's better to go longer or not at all next time around.
3- That dated sound might be the result of a filter I was playing with. I'm glad you think it's catchy despite that! 1 234, 1 2345, was the general idea of the main riff and I think that possibly contributes to the feeling you experienced. Although...I have no idea how to explain that with musical terms. ^ ^
4- A high energy action scene would likely be most appropriate for this one. I'm not currently using it right now for anything, but some of my other music is similar. I love the creative scenario you thought up for the song.
In short, if I were to ever use something like this the scene should be paced accordingly.
Thanks for your feedback! You helped me a lot. The drums are my favorite part of everything actually.
Mammon wrote:I'll have to agree with Limabaen and Yunou, the astringent guitar (Oh thank Buddha someone used the proper term, I could only refer to it as guitar-whine) doesn't really fit that well. Not because it feels like it has to be in an action scene, but because it will distract the reader. I can already tell that if I'd be reading something with this in the background it would be as distracting as vocals, and will therefore negatively influence the story. If there's little to no text then yes it'll work, but in most scenes of a VN it's best avoided. The rest sounds good though!
This is the highest pitched lead guitar I have on any song to date, and I think it may have been way too loud. I can see how the riff itself would be difficult to fit in a visual novel context, especially given that it has to loop over several times as others have mentioned it's not easy to hear more than a few times in a row.
Another thing I just thought about after reading your reply is whether I should be using guitar riffs at all. Personally, I like the idea of using distorted guitars but this particular case hasn't exactly gotten great feedback. The thing with distortion is that it's almost inherently exhausting...I don't want to break immersion with heavy-handed use. Okay, probably not inherently. I didn't use it very well, I feel.
There are various types of guitar in many of the songs I've made thus far; I think I might revert back to techno/EDM for
most of the soundtrack (with nothing set in stone, because I can't make up my mind on these things). Or unless I'm convinced otherwise. The thought is on the table now, at least.
In terms of vocals, that's another story entirely.
They probably won't be used...so no worries?
Thank you, Mammon!
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I'm going to google the term "astringent guitar", because I've never heard that term before it was mentioned earlier!