I agree with Imperf3kt.
The main thing that jumped out to me is the lack of padding around the text - especially around the character names. Give everything room to breath.
Also, while I applaud you doing something different with the MC side-portrait, it feels kind of 'off' to me. You've seemingly gone to some trouble to make sure your NPCs are all the correct height in relation to each other, and then you have your MC shoved in from the side with a completely different scale. I assume you did this to make sure they fit in the wider bottom part of the triangle cut-away, right?
Why haven't you gone the traditional route of placing the MC next to NPCs? I assume you are trying to emulate some kind of first-person view but have MC expressions at the same time. Instead, I get this weird feeling of standing in the middle of a conversation - like I've picked the most awkward spot to stand and have to keep looking forwards and backwards to keep with the different speakers.
EDIT: I see you are trying to emulate Danganronpa V3. I think it looks weird there too, but it works better because they are using very abstract and blurry backgrounds a lot of the time. Also note that BOTH the main scene and the MC cut-out in V3 are abstract shapes that play off the angles of each other AND the slanted angles of the text box. Not to mention they grow and shrink in relation to each other. Everything has to work together. (And again, let me add that I still find the way V3 did this off-putting and ever-so-slightly nauseating. It is like sitting in a car and trying to keep both the rearview mirror view and the view out the front windshield in focus for an extended period of time - at least to
my brain.)
If you want to do something like this, I would use it sparingly, for big reaction moments. And go big - you don't have to worry about scale if you aren't trying to replicate another scene with a background, but instead give us a large close-up of the MC's face. Look at what
Persona 5 and what
Trigger Happy Havoc did here.
