Looking for feedback on a story idea

[unchow]

Hello everyone! I'm new to these forums, and also new to the visual novel scene. I want to write a visual novel, and I have an idea and a loose outline, but I have a hard time knowing if the idea is worth pursuing or not, or what I would have to do to make it work. If this isn't an appropriate place to ask a question like this, just let me know!

The basic idea is that the player character works in a medical examiner's office, and is part of a team of people that perform autopsies on the deceased. Gameplay-wise, this would work kind of like Trauma Center except without a timer. There would be sequences where you perform the actions involved in an autopsy (take photos, measure/characterize wounds, open the body and remove/examine organs, etc.). But since the subject is already dead, there's no frantic pressure or countdown timers, and you can take as much time as you want. Instead, the goal is to gather information about the death and draw conclusions about what happened.

There's definitely elements of Procedural Crime Drama, but I'm not wanting this to just be "Phoenix Wright but you're a coroner." The player character works within an organization, and their office plays only a part in the investigations. A Medical Examiner gets to see a lot of evidence (they go to crime scenes, examine the body, etc), but they don't get to see everything or talk to everyone. So the player gets a chunk of the full picture, but not all of it.

In real life, that's all totally fine and just how things work with the division of labor among specialized fields. But as the player takes on these cases, they start to notice patterns and inconsistencies. It quickly becomes apparent that a criminal organization is pulling strings behind the scenes, and you uncover evidence of a vast conspiracy. As the player digs deeper, more and more people are implicated, including some of your colleagues and others in the criminal justice fields. The question then becomes how much can you learn and uncover when you only get to see a part of the puzzle, and who do you trust to help you?

That's kind of the gist of it, though I have more of it outlined than that. There's some downsides to this structure, I think, and I'm not sure if they're deal breakers. For one, I know that it's good to limit the number or characters in a visual novel, since they take a good bit of time to create. I can limit the number of long-term recurring characters, but there would be a healthy number of other characters that act as suspects, associates of the deceased, the deceased themselves, etc.

I also wonder if this is something that people would even be interested in, or want to play. Basically all gameplay that doesn't involve talking to someone would involve looking at a dead body (or inside a dead body), and that's not always a pleasant sight. Even something as “simple” as a gunshot wound to the head would be pretty grisly when you have to get all up in there.

So yeah, feedback welcome! Is this something worth working on? Do you think other people would be interested in helping with a project like this? Or play it, for that matter?

[fleet]

I like the premise. Do you plan to make the game free ot release it commercially? I hope you make the visual novel. If the VN is free and theart is good I'd probably play it.

[plastiekk]

I really like the idea of the story (reminds me of "Quincy"), but:

Basically all gameplay that doesn't involve talking to someone would involve looking at a dead body (or inside a dead body), and that's not always a pleasant sight.

That's the crux of the matter. If it's done skillfully, you don't really have to show the autopsy. You could cover the body with a white cloth, for example. Or just show a door that contains a window through which you can see the MC working at the autopsy table. Since your MC has been working in the organization for several years, it will be difficult to introduce him to "new" characters in the organization (imho).

And yes, these kinds of crime thrillers certainly never get boring. (I'm thinking of the older audience here.)
Have fun!

[HEXdidnt]

Hello everyone! I'm new to these forums, and also new to the visual novel scene. I want to write a visual novel, and I have an idea and a loose outline, but I have a hard time knowing if the idea is worth pursuing or not, or what I would have to do to make it work. If this isn't an appropriate place to ask a question like this, just let me know!
...
So yeah, feedback welcome! Is this something worth working on? Do you think other people would be interested in helping with a project like this? Or play it, for that matter?

OK, speaking for myself here, I am very much of the mind that every idea is worth pursuing. Without question. It may work, it may not... But there's really only one way to find out.

Your idea is excellent, criminal investigation is a very popular genre, and a more realistic approach to the forensics side of things (by which I mean, wholly focussed on examining evidence gathered by others, outside of one's control, and presented to the player as pieces of a much larger - and likely incomplete - puzzle) is a refreshing angle. Normally the protagonist - even in an ostensibly forensics setting - would end up becoming central players in the investigation. Just look at novels, movies and TV shows: most creators just can't help but put their protagonist centre stage, however unrealistic that is.

I would, however, gently caution against tackling this as your first project, since it sounds as though it could become a huge, sprawling project with myriad branching paths depending on how successfully each body/piece of evidence is investigated (or would you want to only progress the story when all the evidence is successfully located and analysed? That's another option, after all!). It could easily become overwhelming, at least while working on it solo, particularly the background mechanics of how you would make the all these analyses work, in-game. Consider each angle you want this project to take, and perhaps put together a set of shorter, simpler versions just to familiarise yourself with Ren'Py, and with the process of creating your characters and crafting the story. That way, everything you do with Ren'Py contributes toward this project.

On the matter of investigating cadavers - particularly the victims of violent crime - one could take the direct, full-on visceral approach (which might put off those who don't like the sight of gore, not to mention possibly making it more difficult to find an artist willing to tackle it), or one could take the analytical approach where, for example, the player could gradually fill out a report (presented as a folder split between different tabs), with the actual work being shown as a sequence of hand-drawn diagrams (indicating wounds, incision sites, etc.), x-ray or MRI-style imaging, walkthroughs, photos and reconstructions of crime scenes, chemical analysis of trace evidence, etc. There might also be a shooting range (for ballistics) and a progress board where you can draw links between objects and suspects, etc. The idea of introducing conflicting evidence is a powerful one, and will allow you to add some real depth and stakes to the story. What if it turns out that one of the colleagues involved in the conspiracy is a trusted friend? Would you introduce the option of covering up their wrongdoing, or trying to get them out of trouble some other way? And what if someone they don't trust turns out to be the only person you can trust?

The very fact that - as you observed - a Medical Examiner would not see everything or talk to everyone will help you limit the number of 'active' characters in the story, as the list of suspects would likely be a simple board covered with mugshots and interview notes.

Since your MC has been working in the organization for several years, it will be difficult to introduce him to "new" characters in the organization (imho).

Difficult, but not impossible - the player might encounter only one or two colleagues in the course of their work on a particular case, and a brief internal monologue could handle the introductions. Others might be encountered outside the ME's office, if delivering a report to a police station, for example, or at home if you choose to include the protagonist's personal life as well as their professional life.


Based on your short pitch alone, Unchow, I'd be surprised and disappointed if you weren't able to gather a team willing to help in one way or another. Given the popularity of the genre, you're sure to find an audience with an idea like this.

Again, speaking for myself, it sounds potentially amazing and I'm absolutely here for it!

[plastiekk]

Difficult, but not impossible - the player might encounter only one or two colleagues in the course of their work on a particular case, and a brief internal monologue could handle the introductions. Others might be encountered outside the ME's office, if delivering a report to a police station, for example, or at home if you choose to include the protagonist's personal life as well as their professional life.

@HEXdidnt:
Yes, of course, it is not impossible. But you shouldn't use something like that too often, because otherwise it might seem unrealistic (imho).

@unchow:
Don't let that stop you from writing your story, I didn't mean to stop you in any way. (It was just the first thing that went through my mind )

[phantmoftheomsi]

It's a bit jarring to go from coroner to gang-buster. You could logically link them together, but the difference in style and overtones creates too much dissonance.

It might be compelling if a fellow coroner was to blame to the discrepancies, which creates a personal motivation for the main character to become involved. This would also make the danger tangible because "the killer is in the room," as it were.

Your audience would be hella limited, but there would be one.

[Zelan]

It's a bit jarring to go from coroner to gang-buster. You could logically link them together, but the difference in style and overtones creates too much dissonance.

It might be compelling if a fellow coroner was to blame to the discrepancies, which creates a personal motivation for the main character to become involved. This would also make the danger tangible because "the killer is in the room," as it were.

Your audience would be hella limited, but there would be one.

I don't really think it would be jarring. Plenty of main characters start out their stories doing whatever "normal" thing is expected of them, and then due to circumstances end up doing something way out of their wheelhouse (because nobody else will, for instance; if it seems like people in the organization are covering things up, maybe the main character's burning curiosity drives them to get to the bottom of things).

Unchow, specifically regarding your concern about having a lot of one-off side characters, you could leave these characters spriteless, or have them represented by silhouettes. This would cut down on your workload. (:

I'm a HUGE fan of both Trauma Center and Ace Attorney so I'd definitely be interested in a project like this one! Good luck if you attempt to pursue it. ^_^