I need some help (concerning a friend and his depression)

[Robert Kirkland]

Recently, my friend has been hinting at suicide and depression in his profiles. So, I decided to confront him.

He told me he was depressed. Of course, I tried to help. I'm actually talking to him as I type this up. He told me he was considering suicide, that his life was broken, and all he had to do was pull the trigger and it would be all over. I really want to help him, and I'm scared that even if I try (which I am..), he'll still lower himself to that level. I've been depressed, but not to the point where I want to kill myself. I don't know how to help. I can't convince him to find help, either. I'm trying, I really am, but I just don't know what to do if I can't help him.

So, Lemma Soft... what am I supposed to do?

[kinougames]

If the situation is that dire, call 911 and send them to his house. That is the best and only fairly assured way to help him immediately.

[musical74]

Hmmmm....

When it gets that bad, you need to get help. I'm NOT saying don't help him - continue to do so. But you will almost certainly need help. Find out why he wants to end it all...there's a suicide-prevention hotline(1-800-SUICIDE) that helps people through this exact sort of thing - I've called on them for matters relating to depression. Sometimes all they really need is a friend, sometimes there's more going on. Does your friend feel comfortable talking to a priest or pastor? Make sure he knows he is NOT ALONE, that people care.

I'm an amatuer psychologist, so I have some knowledge of how to treat this...but it's still hard

[DaR]

Well, the thing is, each situation concerning depression and suicide is different in some way, shape or form, so it's kind of hard to advise what to do for it.

One way to help your friend is to first let him know that you'll always be there for him. That's really the first step to helping someone- I was depressed and suicidal until last June, in those wherabouts. I was terrified of telling people because I didn't want them thinking I was crazy. When I told some friends about how I was feeling, they assured me that they'd be there to help me, and that's what really starts helping people- knowing that there are people that are out there and care about you. Next thing: Actually be there. It's obvious, but it's pretty hard. Just talking to him will help. Try finding out what's bothering him so much that he became depressed and suicidal, and then you can know how to help him a bit better.

Just remember- don't ever, ever get angry. It might be hard on you, but it's hard on them too.
I hope this helps.

[papillon]

If someone's actually at the considering suicide level you probably do need to get the professionals involved and not rely on the opinions of random forum people. We all have opinions and some of us have even been there ourselves but we don't really know the situation and our opinions are not fact.

[PyTom]

According to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, you can call them on behalf of someone else.

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.or ... sHelp.aspx

Looking out for friends and loved ones is an important part of preventing suicide. You can call the Lifeline to speak with a crisis worker on behalf of someone you are concerned about. The crisis workers have access to local resources, and can help you identify ways to get help to your loved ones. So call 1-800-273-TALK today to help save a life.

As far as I know, nobody here is a qualified counselor - so please, get the professionals involved ASAP.

[Riviera]

Yes, as others have said, get professionals involved. This is a matter that needs to be taken care of by people who know what they're doing, not the average layperson, who, even though they might care a great deal, may unintentionally say the exact thing they do not need to hear.

[James]

Like what Riviera said, we're really a bunch of random strangers around the world who happens to share similar interest in 2-D visual novels. Professional help is needed first and foremost, but I have a few suggestions you could try.

On your side, it might be a good idea to list out what your friend's interests are, and work from there. For example if he likes drawing, draw with him or find him a nice on-line art forums that he will be interested in. It may sound cliche but it's important to feel like you're part of something.

Although it might be minor, even the smallest thing could give us something to look forward to. For me its drinking black coffee at night after work. Try and find out what he enjoys doing.

It's hard but I sincerely hope everything gets better for your friend.