Hierofanía (Beta version) (Critique? Please? ^^)

[Anna]

Ten years ago, Utrecht, God of Justice, disappeared.

Haha, did you know 'Utrecht' is the name of a Dutch city? I will think of your VN every time I go to university :D!

Anyway, your novel looks really interesting~ I'll try it out later and give you my thoughts on it.

For now I'm just wondering if the backstory you posted here will be fleshed out more or if that will be all we'll know. For example, I'm wondering about this "his Knights, first lost their magic and then the respect of the people". Why did they lose their magic and the respect of the people? If things will be clarified in the VN, then consider me curious haha.

[sake-bento]

Fascinating story, and the artwork really matches the mood of the piece. I love the world you built, and how much it makes sense without you spending too much time feeding us boring details.

I got the true ending first (yey!), and it felt like a good first episode to a much longer series. I went back and got three more endings (how many are there?), just to see if I could glean any more info, and I found those to be interesting, but not as satisfying as the true ending (go figure).

There are a few typos here and there that a good proofreader can catch without much issue. Although I did like the look, there are two things that bothered me. If you get the chance, look for a (readable) custom font. I'm used to seeing DejaVu as the default, so it really stands out as a "default setting" look to me. Also, the character sprites don't always match the backgrounds. As in, if it's day or night or underground or whatever, the lighting on the sprites is always the same. D+D look terribly out of place as their bright yellow selves against the blue background of the Knight's HQ, for instance. Or The Stranger at night looks a little too bright against the night sky. I know asking for color adjustments is kinda a nitpicky thing, but it'll make the characters look like they're actually in the environment instead of pasted on top.

[ludeshka]

For now I'm just wondering if the backstory you posted here will be fleshed out more or if that will be all we'll know. For example, I'm wondering about this "his Knights, first lost their magic and then the respect of the people". Why did they lose their magic and the respect of the people? If things will be clarified in the VN, then consider me curious haha.

Well, the True ending explains why the Knights lost their magic.
They lost the respect of the people because they couldn't "deliver". As in, they accepted missions, but got killed trying to complete them. ^^

If you try the game, please tell me what you thought of it. ^^

Although I did like the look, there are two things that bothered me. If you get the chance, look for a (readable) custom font. I'm used to seeing DejaVu as the default, so it really stands out as a "default setting" look to me. Also, the character sprites don't always match the backgrounds. As in, if it's day or night or underground or whatever, the lighting on the sprites is always the same. D+D look terribly out of place as their bright yellow selves against the blue background of the Knight's HQ, for instance. Or The Stranger at night looks a little too bright against the night sky. I know asking for color adjustments is kinda a nitpicky thing, but it'll make the characters look like they're actually in the environment instead of pasted on top.

Hmmm....I don't know how to make fonts myself. T_T
I was trying to use as little things that weren't mine as possible.
If it really detracts from the look of the game, I'll look up a prettier custom font.
Thank you very much for your advice.

Hey, and thanks so much for the compliments! I'm happy you liked the story! I like that world and those characters, so I'll do my best to portray everything in a way that'll let people enjoy them too.

Again, thank you so much for giving this demo a chance.

[SusanTheCat]

I now have a new favourite saying:

If crickets weren't dead, they'd be chirping.

Susan

[ludeshka]

I now have a new favourite saying:

If crickets weren't dead, they'd be chirping.

Susan

Hee, thanks! XD

I'm still trying to make this game as good as possible, so if you feel like it, do tell me what you thought of the game, yes?
(I've already changed the pattern on the dialogue box, as you suggested ^^! Thanks a lot for that!)

[SusanTheCat]

I just finished it a I really like it!

The artwork is very cool! The story was intriguing. I was left wanting to know more about the world and Utrecht. I've only reached 4 of the endings so far.

I was a little thrown off my going into nvl mode at the end. It wouldn't have been quite as jarring if it was used a couple of other places too.

I still like the way the world is introduced to the reader in nice easy stages.

The coffin image is a bit low and gets covered up by the dialog box. Maybe put it up on a stage. (Which I think suits the character) When I first read that scene I was like:"What coffin?"

All it needs is a bit more polish and it is a A1 Visual Novel.

Susan

[Nimuell]

I just finished this yesterday night and I was impressed so deeply... I'm more of a lurker here on forums, but I just can't stay silent, I really want to tell you how much I loved this. I don't think I can find the right words to express my feelings, but I'll try ^^

The fist one and only ending I got was true ending.
That was really... deep. And strong. And now my heart is so broken by the true ending, so sad to the point of crying, but still you have the feeling this ending was just RIGHT.
Really... How people can write such deep things... I don't think I could ever... do something like this.

Regarding

That Cricket was not lucky enough, that she didn't make right decisions etc. As I was the one choosing for her I felt a little bit guilty too. Even knowing this was true ending the author actually planned.

I really love how realistic some characters are. I can understand how Kia feels for example. Or Douglas.
And the protagonist is really unique for a VN. Well... At least I think so. I'm the fan of smart girls, so at first I was confused, but in the end I came to like Cricket really much.
However I disliked it, when she was called ugly >__> Maybe I was insulted in her place.

I just love the whole atmosphere of the world you created.
What attracted me to this game was the art. I'm just in love with the style and the feel of it. The only sprite I didn't really like was Gillan, at first I even thought it was woman ><''

I could also post some critique, but really, It all was said already without me.

I'm just glad I was able to read such a good story. It really touched something deep in my heart, so I'll be looking forward for the final version.
And sorry if I'm being a little too emotional ^^ I'm still under the impression.

If I can be of any help, let me know.

[DrakeNavarone]

I'm a little late to be catching on to this now, but a friend of mine pointed this out to me recently and today I finally sat down with it and a fairly long backlog of other titles, and this definitely stood out amongst the crowd. It didn't take long for me to be swept up in it and I soon found it impossible to pull away. There's just so much to love about it: The characters, the mythology, the prose itself.

And I especially liked Crocket, which is fairly rare for me as I find most EVN hero/heroines to be avatars instead of characters. She's honest to a fault but not anywhere near the extent of being annoying, which is a hard thing to avoid. Most characters of this ilk either blur into the background or have such a squeaky pitch to their dialogue, it becomes impossible to like them. So congratulations are in large order for avoiding one of the deadliest pitfalls of EVN writing.

It really is an astounding work, and I sincerely hope it isn't too late to believe it will one day graduate from its beta status. It deserves its place in the Completed Games forum much more than its contemporaries.