Your opinion wanted!

[boyfoxy]

Heyo, I'm new to this forum and, yes, I did read the rules for this board. I know you don't want people dropping in, posting ideas, and leaving but that is not at all what I'm doing. Because i'm going to make this thing a reality. Any help you can offer as to whether you think this is a concrete foundation for a good visual novel would be greatly appreciated.

Concept:
The main character is a 19 yr old male who goes to a commuter college. He doesn't have many friends because most of them moved away to universities. He's a loner. His life is depressingly redundant and he's the type to often ponder the big questions. "What is the meaning of life? Who am I? Where am I going? What's my purpose?" Yada yada...

One day, he's walking through this forested area. Idk, if its in his backyard or just some park or something. It's somewhere secluded. He's just walking there to clear his mind cause his day sucked. He looks up through the trees and there is something white almost glowing a bit. So he walks off the beaten path to find this all white stair case. Other than it being unusual for being in the middle of a forested area, the staircase gets more and more transparent with every step until it is no longer visible. So its more of a stair section. He ends up walking up it and with every step he becomes more and more transparent. Or at least to an outisder he would seem to get more transparent. To him, the world is getting more transparent until he is in this room.

In the center of the room is this giant mirror lookin portal thing like in Star Gate (i don't watch, this is just for your minds eye). Then there is this pillar with rules etched into it. So he reads some of the rules and really what it says is you can wish to go anywhere you like just speak it, and then walk into the portal. This is sorta how it works...

"I wish for a beautiful meadow full of flowers"
You walk into the portal and its just like walked into the portal room only now your walking down the staircase and onto the ground of another world and it's in the middle of a giant meadow full of flowers but its so beautiful and nothing like earth. When you're done there, you walk right back up the stairs and into the portal room from which you came.

Here's the catch.

You wish a second time.
"I wish for a beautiful meadow full of flowers"
You walk into the portal and down the stairs. You are now standing in a giant field of dead flowers and thorns and thistles. It's dark and cold.

The portal has a mind of its own, listens to your request and chooses where it wants to put you. Because "beautiful" is a subjective word, it can put you somewhere full of flowers but you might not think of it as beautiful. This does not mean, however, that the portal cannot read your mind. It chooses the path it wants you to go on.

Now, if you went somewhere great and want to return, you must find out the name of that place and be very specific in your request.

So that is pretty much it for the concept. The plot will just be his experience using the portal stairs and finding out more about the rules of the portal stairs and how they work. He'll make friends with other characters in other worlds and blah de blah.

However, I'm going to throw in twists like maybe time goes faster in certain worlds than others. Two minutes there is two hours here sorta thing. It's still in the works.

Please suggest and criticize!

(after taking criticisms and suggestions into account, my next post will be the actual plot summary. Like what actually happens in the story. The turns, the drama, the love, the horror, you know.)

[platonicheart]

So you're planning on making something like Kingdom hearts???

[MiSi]

somehow it reminds me of a novel by Sergej Lukianenko...

but I like the idea... sounds eerie

[boyfoxy]

@MiSi - Thanx! = ) That's kinda the mood i'm going for.

@platonicheart - At the risk of embarrassment, I haven't played any of the KH games. I know they are good, just haven't tried them yet. If this concept is too similar, I'll have to make some big modifications because if it's too similar to a big title like KH, chances are you are probably not the only one who thinks that.

So I know what to change, in what way exactly is my concept like KH?

[platonicheart]

@platonicheart - At the risk of embarrassment, I haven't played any of the KH games. I know they are good, just haven't tried them yet. If this concept is too similar, I'll have to make some big modifications because if it's too similar to a big title like KH, chances are you are probably not the only one who thinks that.

So I know what to change, in what way exactly is my concept like KH?

Ow, well KH games and your project are not exactly that alike, not the mirrorlike concept. But the ue of portals, meeting certain persons and different scenarios from each portal, just somehow reminds me of KH because it's like that ( get it??? hehe ). though don't think about it too much it may be more accurate to say PURSUE YOUR PROJECT!!! , since KH is an rpg and yours is another story kk Well, if you need any help, concept, proofreading, or anything just drop me a line

[LVUER]

Actually, before KH, there's FF anime, titled Final Fantasy Unlimited. Though different, it has somewhat similar world with KH.

FF:U world consists of multiple world that absorbed into the bad guy's world. Outside of that, there are still lots of other world, but that doesn't get covered in anime. The protagonists are sucked into the bad guys world. And they will meet other "heroes" from another world that also got absorbed.

And I'm pretty sure there are other anime/game that feature similar world. So KH isn't the first, it's just a very popular one.

So don't be afraid and change your concept just because it's similar with KH.

[platonicheart]

Actually, before KH, there's FF anime, titled Final Fantasy Unlimited. Though different, it has somewhat similar world with KH.

FF:U world consists of multiple world that absorbed into the bad guy's world. Outside of that, there are still lots of other world, but that doesn't get covered in anime. The protagonists are sucked into the bad guys world. And they will meet other "heroes" from another world that also got absorbed.

And I'm pretty sure there are other anime/game that feature similar world. So KH isn't the first, it's just a very popular one.

So don't be afraid and change your concept just because it's similar with KH.

I agree with LVUER ( how could i have forgotten FF ), you should stick to your plot because, who knows, you may create a different impact with your own story Goodluck!!!

[musical74]

I like this idea...

I honestly like the idea of *the portal decides things*. Say you wish for a beautiful field of flowers with some *nice music*....well, what's nice to me is different than nice to LUVER, and different than what you view as nice. So instead of a beautiful field of flowers with a nice soft rock, you get a field full of thorns with rap!

Biggest problem I can see is what happens if the character tires of it OR asks for something the portal can't or won't deliver on (ex: I want to be in a field of flowers with a hot babe that just worships me)...but maybe have the character keep wanting to come back because of the variety?

This is a good idea I hope you do continue with it!

[boyfoxy]

@platonicheart - I'll stick with it and if I run into any problems, I'll definitely ask for help.

@musical74 - Yeah, the character is sort of drawn to it because his life is so boring. Plus, the fact that he realizes he has the rare opportunity to visit places that people can only dream about. He'll learn, as time goes on, to be very specific and use the right words to get the portal to put him where he wants to be. Continue, I must!

Thanks for the support guys! Next I'll be posting a plot summary which will go into a lot more detail of what actually takes place in the story.

Arigato!

[platonicheart]

yeah! that's the spirit!