Get that thing off your chest... Now...

[kura-ou]

I'm not trying to whore attention. I just need to get this out of my system. I've been over-worked in school for the past 3 weeks and had to help out lab partners until late at night. I had to go out in the field much more often to collect more specimens, but was rushed and almost got dehydrated during the trip. I've spent far too much money these carpools, and when I tried to sell things on eBay for more gas funds, I got stiffed by several buyers even though it's eBay (I can't even re-list because the buyers have been ignoring me for a month, so I owe eBay fees for not even being able to sell).
My printer has also been out of commission for a while, and I can't afford to buy a new one. I'm a bit disappointed since I bought it last year, hoping that it would last me at least 2-3 years.

My close friend was also suicidal last week and I couldn't focus on anything. I was afraid to lose another friend of mine to this sort of thing. I did my best to help and am happy that he's doing a little better now...

And, if anyone is already laughing at my misery and calling me a bad person and all that, my kitchen got flooded with the upstairs' apartments gunk again just yesterday--it was dirty, disgusting and now I don't even have a table to eat on until everything is cleaned up. I'm tired of where I've been living for almost a decade. It's in a bad neighborhood and I can't take all these teenagers making the stairs outside my apartment a hang-out. Even my professors know that I hate living here. I can't really leave any official business to my parents because they need me at home to translate for them when it comes to these crappy apartment problems, but I'm at school for too much of the day. This doesn't even count the travel time required on the bus to and back from school--it's so ridiculous sometimes.

And speaking of school, I'll still be in school for the next month. I won't even have a break until near the end of June--we've just finished taking our 2nd midterms. I'm disappointed with myself because I haven't been keeping up to par with informing commissioners and unlike last quarter, I have been retaining less information for my classes. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's never happened before, but I know one thing: I FEEL LIKE TOTAL CRAP. I would normally be able to handle 12 hour weekend field trips, but I guess because I'm taking 3 science classes, it should be justified that I feel that way. That doesn't help for commissioners, however, especially since someone changed my password on this site while I was away.

I've been out of the loop for so long, I don't know what to say anymore. I don't have any excuses, and I do have sparse sketches, but...I feel like crap, and I don't want to make anyone hateful or angry towards me any longer. I hate that I've been forgetful, and it's my own fault.

I've had 4 exams in the past month, but I brought it on myself, for being this type of dumb student that over-estimated herself.

I just keep thinking that my life will fall apart before I even have energy to formally apologize. I'm afraid of how bad tomorrow will be...especially since there are people IRL who like to make me feel like nothing, and this worsens everything else I've gone through...

[Blue Lemma]

@kura: Hopefully no one is laughing at your misery. There are only a handful of people in the world whose misery I'd laugh at, and you're not one of them.

I would suggest changing your signature for the time being to avoid further complications.

[dramspringfeald]

So, Mom's Been having trouble eating lately. What we were hoping was just an Ulcer was a Tumor on the duct leading from her stomach to her Small intestines. :/

her cancer has Jumped the fire line and will most likely spread faster now.

[Applegate]

Being a music freak, I decided to add an ocarina to my collection of musical instruments. I'm don't particularly play music much, so I went for the cheap $20 plastic ocarina option. I bought another one as a gift to my little brother.

Today I received an ocarina of regular material valued at $130 and a bass double ac ocarina valued at $170, with a receipt for two plastic ocarinas worth $40 total. The problem is that they're in Korea and I have no idea how to communicate other than buying stuff. My sense of morality says to return to sender, my sense of everything else says OHGODTHISREALOCARINAHASSUCHAMAZINGSOUNDI'MINLOVE.

;_;

[merdeamour]

@Applegate ... Oh my gosh. I've been wanting to buy an ocarina for my younger brother (because he wanted to learn how to play one after playing Legend of Zelda...). ...Sense of morality will win, though, I'm sure, although I feel you T_T

[Applegate]

I've played them for a bit, fallen in love, then broke my heart and returned to sender with a letter saying they shipped the wrong items.

;_; Return to sender, order unknown. No such purchase, these aren't my own.

[Donmai]

;_; Return to sender, order unknown. No such purchase, these aren't my own.

Elvis lives! So this is truly the ocarina of time!

[dramspringfeald]

Lol knowing some of the Korean Venders. it IS the cheap $20 ones they just sell some at 6 times the price to tourists. Just think of it as a wind fall, but if you have to just email them on their vender site.

[kura-ou]

@dramspringfeald ;___; My prayers are with you and your family. Please take care.

@Blue Lemma Well, I would like to hope that, but I've dealt with many others who weren't kind on the net .__. I have changed my signature for the time being and will updating my commissions thread to clear up any issues...hopefully. Unless that isn't allowed, then I understand.

I just went on another field trip this weekend and will have an exam and a paper due on Tuesday. Both the students and professors are so tired at my uni @__@;;;

Despite all the depression I've gone through and all these problems I've caused, I'm grateful to two people who have sent me such kind and sweet messages. Thank you to you both for your warm, compassionate words. I'll keep trying to bulldoze through the piles of schoolwork and commissions that I have.

ファイト!!!

[Applegate]

Lol knowing some of the Korean Venders. it IS the cheap $20 ones they just sell some at 6 times the price to tourists. Just think of it as a wind fall, but if you have to just email them on their vender site.

I'm expert enough to tell the difference between a trainee's plastic ocarina and a professional double AC ocarina. These were not plastic.

[merdeamour]

@Applegate Oh, at least you did the right thing. *pats back*

A double AC ocarina, though... T_T

[Razz]

-snip for embarrassment-

[arachni42]

-snip for embarrassment-

Hey, that's about how I feel whenever I write something after taking Ambien and then not actually going to bed... and then discover it in the morning with no memory of it. I'm thankful that most of such writing has NOT been public.

In any case... I hope that having written it got it off your chest anyway ^_^

[Ionait]

-no longer relevant-

[Carassaurat]

I realise this isn't a very big thing to deal with compared to what other people post here, but I recently find myself confronted with the horrible flip side of technology; namely, whenever I make a joke, it's only all too easy to Google it and find out that I'm not the first to make it. No longer can I be blissfully unaware of other people's cleverness and think myself a really funny guy, because to everyone else I might as well just have stolen the joke from someone on the Internet. I was really delighted with the "We have nothing to fear but fear itself and also killer robots" line, but it turns out that "We have nothing to fear but fear itself and spiders" is a complete meme with YouTube videos and all. Both the joke that is the title of the VN I'm working on now and its tagline have been made before. Sometimes I miss the days when we weren't all connected to funny people...