The Edge of Magic (Modern fantasy) [Demo]

[Roseus Mirabili]

Wow the demo was pretty good and it introduced the characters quite nicely. It definitely makes me want to see the finished product.

[PyTom]

This being one of the games I'm anticipating, I played through the demo.

I think it has a lot of potential, since you have a lot of characters in what could be an interesting setting. I'm not sure the demo really show that off, though, since there is a lot of talking, but not much seems to happen.

(IIRC, the most interesting thing that happens is a non-magical fire that occurs off-camera.)

I'd suggest breaking up the long run of character introduction with more things _happening_.

I think you really need to show the magic a bit more, and set up a sense of wonder, impressiveness, whatever. I suspect the game will do this, but I think it needs to do so earlier, before you lose the audience.

The opening is a little slow, and kind of dense, especially the first line - the first line approaches John Carter levels of opacity. Wouldn't it make sense to just have our hero introduce himself to Lily when he first meets her, and skip the first 40 or so lines?

The art is serviceable, but not great. I see a lot of perspective problems. I'm willing to ignore them, but at the same time, I'm not wowed by the art.

The text box is terrible. The text is way too wide, which makes it hard to read - I'd suggest adding a lot of padding on the left and right sides, so it fits without 2.5 alphabets or so. Right now, I have to move my head to read each line, which is really annoying - for a much longer full game, that would be very problematic. The font is also an issue - the huge heights of n or x really distorts letter shapes, which makes the game hard to read, for a very small style advantage. The logos in the back of the textbox also just distract.

I'm not letting these problems get me down, and you shouldn't either - this is an 0.01 release, and that means that there's a lot of time for improvement.

[Ellume]

I guess I have a different perspective and set of interests.

The first three points you give, PyTom, pretty much sum up to wanting more flash faster and I can't say that would really improve the story for me. I enjoy seeing character self-reflection and I liked that opening. Also I'm often more interested in character discussion then events, so I enjoyed the pacing. I admit I'm unsure as to the scale of power that the magic is capable of in this universe, but this was pretty much a non issue to me when I played through.

I enjoy the style of the art, it adds to the story for me and I'm interested to see more. So in my books that's a success.

I agree that having some padding for the text box would likely work well. I do like the background pattern it has though. Not sure if there was a border planned?

I'm very much looking forward to this release. It's interesting reading different perspectives, I guess it goes to show it important to stick to what you want as a developer because you won't be able to please everyone.

[Kikaharu]

How is this game coming along? I remember playing the demo a long time ago and it was really great so I hope this is still getting somewhere. ^^

[philip]

Just stumbled across this demo, so downloaded it and played through; the artwork is quite nice, the story is interesting. Overall, a very good job so far. However, it has been quite a while since the OP has visited this thread; I am hoping that this is not another promising story that is dying on the vine and will not be completed.

I surely would like to see the complete game!

philip

[neuropsy]

I have to say that I'm excited for the full release (I do hope it comes out!).

Concept: As a student research assistant at my university, it was really exciting for me to see the scientific milieu in the game. The idea of a magical research facility provides a sense of familiarity in the sense that it's an academic setting, but with a nice twist to it in that the facility is focused on research as opposed to instruction. I also find the idea of alternate history with the League of Nations as immensely fascinating. Blending reality with fantasy is one of the fastest ways to secure my attention.

Writing/Characters: I thought the writing was nice and easy to read, not too detailed and not to bare. There were several times I laughed throughout the demo. The scene that sticks out to me the most was when Lily exclaimed that she was both their friends.

As for the characters, I liked how Lunin was depicted to have flaws such as arrogance, but was still an overall likable guy. It's a nice break from the generic nice guy protagonist. Lily's my favorite character--she's an absolute sweetheart and I would totally go for her in the full release. She's so cute and funny and I just want to give her a giant hug. I'm also really curious about her backstory.

Professor Ulric a pretty interesting character too, and I look forward to more conversations with her. I love philosophy. I'm also really curious about Sophia, and do plan on following her path, too.

Art/Graphics: I'm not an artist, so I can't comment with too much complexity on the art, but I really liked it! It's soft, bright, and inviting at the same time. It's really cute. The character designs are great too, with Lily's (of course) being my favorite. :p I really loved the CG's that were featured in the demo. They were very well drawn and quite pleasing to look at it.

*prays for a full release*