I Will Hold Your Hand. (DEMO!)

[Pugfarts]

First I have to tell you that I seriously dig your style. The designs are really awesome. It's nice to play a game without the typical anime-styling.

The characters as I see them so far are good, too. I think so far I like Caleb, if only because I have a thing for guys who are over-polite and use proper speech.

So I guess you could say I really like what you have so far. Nice work!

Thanks! I've got some interesting ideas for what I'm going to do with Caleb in the storyline.

[Aleema]

I like the art style, the atmosphere, and where its going, but the writing needs be way more professional (proper grammar, capitalization, punctuation, etc). It's interesting that whenever the PC does something the menu option comes up, but a bit jarring, since you have to click that button specifically, not just anywhere. Still, it's interesting and interactive, since you're going with 2nd person POV.

[Pugfarts]

I like the art style, the atmosphere, and where its going, but the writing needs be way more professional (proper grammar, capitalization, punctuation, etc). It's interesting that whenever the PC does something the menu option comes up, but a bit jarring, since you have to click that button specifically, not just anywhere. Still, it's interesting and interactive, since you're going with 2nd person POV.

Thanks!
The intro is a bit like a kinetic novel, but the meat of the game is going to be a lot more open (sim-based), so I wanted to make sure players get used to making choices early, even if there's only one choice to make. All the writing is in early draft stages as well, so I'm going to have a bit of cleaning to do

[Camille]

I found some spare time today to give this demo a shot and I actually quite liked it a lot. There's still a ways to go on improving the writing (there are multiple errors) and I think the GUI could use some work, but I really like the atmosphere, art style, and characters. All three of the guys felt really distinct, which is really important to me in otome games. I actually really can't pick a favorite! ^^; (I am leaning towards Caleb, though) Also, I have to say I love how the MC appears on the screen with the guys. Not enough games do that and relegate the MC to being faceless or just having a side sprite. :C I thought the one-choice menu was a little strange at first, but I got used to it and think it's a unique way to show what's going on and progress the story. I'm looking forward to learning more about the story/characters and seeing this complete. (: Good luck!

[TsukiShima]

I tried out your game, so I'm here to give my feedback and opinion.

Your artstyle is really unique, and somehow everything fits for me. It's simple and were able to blend in with the back ground. The first CG felt a little bit weird though, but I guess I don't mind that much. I like Clara's sprite though, I didn't saw her emotional changes at first, but I got the glimpse later.

I feel that I'm used to the second person point-of-view (played Persona a lot), and so I liked it.

The opening music was a bit scary at first, but then it's goes fine by me xD

And I must say, my likings are going towards Caleb, he's in my fav color and I somehow admire someone like him. But he seems to be more of a tsundere, since a kuudere is colder. Well, I'm not exactly sure but I'll be waiting for more developments.

[Pugfarts]

@ Cam and Hana;

Thanks so much! The guys are my higher priority, but I really want to take some time to define Clara more as a character. It's nice to have the whole silent protagonist thing to fall back on, but I want to go a little deeper than that.
The GUI is also going to get a makeover before this is done.

I actually just finished figuring out how to mod the DSE to suit my needs! Now I can get back to actually writing story!

[Auro-Cyanide]

I love the new art, it definitely much stronger than the previous ones. I've downloaded the demo so I'll give it a go this weekend hopefully ^_^b

[gekiganwing]

Finally read the demo.

At one point, it's briefly mentioned that one of the guys was on the wrong side during an unspecified war. While I assume more will be revealed about his life and the conflict later, just make sure you don't infodump. The audience needs to know what's happened, but at the same time, the characters shouldn't lapse into expository "maid and butler dialogue." It's a challenge to get this right.

Also, I think there are only a few reasons why the player should be given only one choice:

* It indicates the character lacks information, or doesn't trust other people.

* The first time around, the main character doesn't know much. But he/she learns more as the story goes on. And when the player starts over, more options are available. This makes the most sense in stories where the characters are in a "Groundhog Day" style time loop.

* If the player hesitates, one option vanishes, or another option appears. The concept of a timed choice has existed in a number of VNs, including the freeware story "Truce for a Moment" (should still be on this forum), as well as the translated games "Yo-Jin-Bo: The Bodyguards" and "Sakura Wars: So Long My Love." I think it's most effective in tense situations where the main character needs to act quickly.

* It's part of your theme. If your story has something to do with the main character being coerced, having an illusion of choice, or a lack of free will, then go with it.

[YonYonYon]

Read the demo. My messy thoughts:

- There was a sense that the text is cropped oAo like: a-little-bit-of-text *chop!* another-little-bit-of-text-with-another-information *chop!* what-the-hell-is-that-thing *chop!* another-little-bit-of-information *chop!* oh-new-charcter! *chop!*
Hell, that was kinda fast oAo but still interesting

- Usually I don't like second-person stories, but this one is charming.

- Liked a joke about shirt lols

- Caleb! Why he's so cute? D:> wanna cuddle him. I feel like I, as a MC, can be a lead in the relationship

- Great art~

- Wanna more oAo

[Pugfarts]

thanks for the feedback! I really should have made it clear that I plan on going back and filling out the writing as I correct it. I admit it is somewhat lacking as is.

@ Geki
I really want to avoid needless exposition. Half of the fun is figuring out what the heck is going on.

One of the things I want to gradually but quickly make obvious is that Clara doesn't know a lot of things that the other characters would find obvious, such as the war, so the player can find out more about that along with her. She's not an amnesiac though (heaven forbid), so the players can find out more about Clara (and other strange happenings) along with the guys. Nobody knows everything in this story, except maybe Yolok Tos.. ..maybe..

as for the one-choice menus, I like them because they show that the player is actively controlling what Clara is doing, even if there is nothing else she can do.

@Geki
I wasnt originally gonna have it all second person, but because it's a sim-game it was hard to make it work without it. (>__< )

[kara24601]

Yay, looks like the main / PC character is a Blue themed female! I get so sick of Pink girly girls. And she's cute! I'm usually not a big fan of short hair on girls but she's so cute! heh

[xelacroix]

how sexy u wanted? if u want sexy to girl, its different to sexy to boy. if u ask me, i think girl with feminine appearance and boobs were sexy rather short hair girl

[Pugfarts]

Well I was out of town and away from my computer for a week, but now it's back to work! Huzzah!

@kara; I know right? I really want to make her an interesting character too.

@xela; the focus is really the guys. If you have some ideas on what kind of guys would be sexy go ahead and lemme know! Now I kind of want to try making a game featuring a full-figured girl though... adding that to my to-do list.