Forcibly Asocial - Days of Void [KN][Mystery, mindfuck]+Demo

[Gorgils]

Forcibly Asocial – Days of Void is a simple, short, free Kinetic Novel. It is my first attempt at a psychological mindfuck: I wanted to bring to mind things like 'calming horror' or 'atmospheric mystery' in the execution. I tried putting a lot of effort into creating a weird and mysterious mood/atmosphere—there’s quite a bit of metaphysics and psychology in the plot and setting as flavour.

Description:
After a surreal, bizarre dream, I wake up to discover that the world is not as I remember it any more.
Everything is surrounded by an unnatural, illogical sensation of comfort along with a rational, obscure feeling of discomfort.
Will I be able to figure what’s going on? Will I ever find the roots behind this perplexing, twisted mystery?

To fully enjoy the demo of this Kinetic Novel, please turn the lights off, switch to fullscreen, put your headphones on, and raise the volume. Make sure there are no disturbances. Sound and music were especially important to me in conveying the mood, so please don’t turn the sound down. If music is so far louder than the sound effects that you can barely hear them, consider toning down the music a bit (while the balance between the two is perfect with my headphones, I noticed that's not the case on other sound systems).

Statistics:
The game contains 303 dialogue blocks, containing 4,465 words and 27,061
characters, for an average of 14.7 words and 89 characters per block.
The game contains 0 menus, 164 images, and 14 screens.
There are also numerous sounds effects and seven different soundtracks.
Resolution is 1280x720.
I use an animated film grain effect for the most part, which I worked pretty hard to make. It’s based on this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0QOpCwKyGI
(And if anyone is wondering: NO! There are no screamers or sudden scares in this vnovel.)

DEMO DOWNLOAD LINKS:
[Windows]
[Mac]
[Linux]

So, what is the purpose of this thread?:
- A means to share the demo of my work with other people. I want you guys to try it and even attempt to be entertained by it.
- Any ideas, criticism, questions, comments or just thoughts are more than welcome.
- I’m thinking of changing the logo/menu artwork (not entirely happy with it): If any artist believes he can come up with something more fitting for the Visual Novel, they’re more than welcome to contact me about it.
- I’m looking for a new editor. The guys that helped me with the demo did a wonderful job and I’m really grateful, but they’re currently way too occupied with real life responsibilities. I want someone who can meet me at least twice a week at Skype to discuss the plot with me. Note: English is not my native language, so I’m looking for someone very knowledgeable with it and with also possibly a little experience on the job. Your job won’t be to only discuss the ideas with me, but also criticize, work on correcting my clumsy grammar/orthography and rephrasing weird English sentences into ones that read more vividly. Editor, GETO.


Credits to:
Bluedemon, for her brilliant editing job. I have yet to witness in my life such an amazing editor. Alright, I know, it’s because I haven’t worked on many projects this far, but I assure you... I'm certain nobody could have done a better job than her when it comes to this specific project! Many, many thanks!
Eamonx. He’s basically the secondary editor of the project. Bluey’s pretty busy with her work lately and doesn’t have enough time to help me at the moment. Eamon took over and helped me finalize the demo’s script by giving suggestions and nitpicking every single flaw he could see.
Falsewander, for her breathtaking soundtrack. Without her work, I doubt this demo could've even been completed. Her music is this project’s heart. Related links: http://www.last.fm/music/Falsewander -- Falsewander in last.fm / http://falsewander.blogspot.com/ -- Falsewander’s blog / http://falsewander.bandcamp.com/ -- Listen some of her albums here
Whoever created the sound effects. They’re a very important part of the project – every single one of them. I found them in random places on the internet. Part of them are from the “1001 Sound Effects” torrent in piratebay, and the rest are from various youtube videos.
Py Tom, for making this project possible with his awesome Ren’Py Visual Novel Engine. I couldn't thank you more, man!
Nik0s X., for creating the main menu of this VN.

Quality Checkers:
Falsewander, Grudgeal, Jonarific, mortsyn, yuudai, mecharobot, lordish, dc_neorok, KiteMiya, Faggqt, Nuctemeron, nerdfish, RobertTene, Jim_imba, corva, Hinoe, eternal, Lysander Daringer and pinkyivan.
Many thanks to all of them for their cynical criticism, enlightening advice, and kind-hearted encouragement. Not to mention the outstanding demonstration of some impressively grandiose Nazi Grammer skills; especially Hinoe’s. I had no idea before that his breed could get this formidable. My eyes are teary out of fear as I’m writing this sentence.

Project by: Gorgils [ANIDB][VNDB]

Screenshots:

[Hinoe]

Why, hello. I think I got a link to this thread somewhere.

Not to mention the outstanding demonstration of some impressively grandiose Nazi Grammer skills; especially Hinoe’s. I had no idea before that his breed could get this formidable. My eyes are teary out of fear as I’m writing this sentence.

It's spelled "grammar Nazi". One can see why you'd fear my skills... Now, wipe the tears from your eyes (Wipe your tears away / I'll wipe your tears away / I'll wipe your bloodshot eyes / Sunday, bloody Sunday... uh, sorry, I got carried away).

/me runs

So anyway... I'm not sure if this changed a bit since I ran my QC pass (Gor?), but the story was very short and hadn't yet been completed. Since it's short, it can be read fairly quickly, and since it's incomplete, I'm sure everyone can make a couple of suggestions for some of the next steps.

Since I'm here anyway, have my opinion on the work itself, TL;DR version: I think the story is still too much of an infant to give it any definite review, but what I see so far is pretty decent, and if you consider how much I hate nearly everything I see (my AniDB posts speak for themselves, hah), I guess that means something. It is fairly promising.

[Gorgils]

Why, hello. I think I got a link to this thread somewhere.

Oh, shi---w-who gave you the link?! Goddam--- E-eeh, erm, I-I mean... *clears throat* Oh, hi Hinoe! It's so nice of you to post here. S-Sorry for not notifying you about this release, I simply forgot about it, I swear!

It's spelled "grammar Nazi". One can see why you'd fear my skills...

But, that was an intentional mistake, to put emphasis on... (screw this, at this point nobody is gonna believe me anyway) --
Well spotted man, well spotted! But I'm not gonna change it anyway, with the sole purpose to defile your name, since it's next to it. Gahahaha, sue me!

On a serious tone now, I wrote that "special credit" because you offered me way more feedback in comparison with the other proofreaders. I thought you deserved an extra thumbs up.

So anyway... I'm not sure if this changed a bit since I ran my QC pass (Gor?)

Why yes, I changed quite a few things. I improved the believability of two short scenes by mildly altering them (without taking away their original meaning) and simplified/improved the flow of a lot of sentences. I think the whole thing reads much more fluidly now, without having much of its cool pretentiousness toned down.

but what I see so far is pretty decent, and if you consider how much I hate nearly everything I see (my AniDB posts speak for themselves, hah), I guess that means something.

Hehe, thank you for your good words. I appreciate it.

[Qrii]

I should've paid attetion to the 'mindfuck' word. Because I think I lost my brain somewhere in the middle of trying the demo.
Anyway, I see you have a delicate (and quite hilarious) team there, I hope this will come to a release because I enjoy the demo alot!

[Hinoe]

Oh, hi Hinoe! It's so nice of you to post here. S-Sorry for not notifying you about this release, I simply forgot about it, I swear!

But you did notify me... well, kind of. I was looking at the Skype group log without paying particular attention to anything and the link was there; as I recognized the domain, I took a (correct) guess at what the subject was and followed it.

But, that was an intentional mistake, to put emphasis on... (screw this, at this point nobody is gonna believe me anyway) --
Well spotted man, well spotted! But I'm not gonna change it anyway, with the sole purpose to defile your name, since it's next to it. Gahahaha, sue me!

On a serious tone now, I wrote that "special credit" because you offered me way more feedback in comparison with the other proofreaders. I thought you deserved an extra thumbs up.

High-five, bro-fist!

Why yes, I changed quite a few things. I improved the believability of two short scenes by mildly altering them (without taking away their original meaning) and simplified/improved the flow of a lot of sentences. I think the whole thing reads much more fluidly now, without having much of its cool pretentiousness toned down.

Will reserve some time to reread it later.

I should've paid attetion to the 'mindfuck' word. Because I think I lost my brain somewhere in the middle of trying the demo.

I know, right; I had the same feeling at a point or two.

Anyway, I see you have a delicate (and quite hilarious) team there, I hope this will come to a release because I enjoy the demo alot!

I, uh, seriously hope that, by "delicate", you meant "dedicated".

Anyway, I'm personally glad to have been a part of this. Once we go pro and can aim to become as relevant as Type-Moon, I'll want a considerable share of the profi-- I mean, uh... Allah damn it! Uh, never mind.

[Gorgils]

I should've paid attetion to the 'mindfuck' word. Because I think I lost my brain somewhere in the middle of trying the demo.

I know, right; I had the same feeling at a point or two.

Keikaku doori--! *instantly blocks mouth* ... I-I mean-- I hope it wasn't anything unpleasant in the sense that it gets beyond enjoyable. I actually hate exaggerated brutality because I believe horror can be disturbing without doing the obvious thing (but I can still appreciate it if it's well done).

Anyway, I see you have a delicate (and quite hilarious) team there, I hope this will come to a release because I enjoy the demo alot!

I'm really glad you enjoyed the demo. I'll work hard with releasing the full version as my sole purpose. I'll try to not disappoint everyone.

High-five, bro-fist!

*brofists back*

Once we go pro and can aim to become as relevant as Type-Moon, I'll want a considerable share of the profi-- I mean, uh... Allah damn it! Uh, never mind.

XD