Deadly Desire (Scrapped)

[Sleipnir56]

Sorry. This game has been scrapped. The idea just isn't working out....

[Moon20]

What do you think of the plot? I liked the plot very must, i think it was very intressing

Are the characters interesting? Yes very interesting

If so, who would you like the most? Jun

Does the story seem appealing?" Yes very much

I really looked forward to this game very much and i know this game Would be very good

[FjärilPrincess]

What do you think of the plot?
Erm,To be quite honest..This plot sounds intriguing and all but it reminds me of a game called 'Kiss of Revenge'.It's by a known otome-game company called 'Voltage.inc'.I don't know if you've heard of it (or maybe got some inspiration from it)? But anyways,you should probably check it out...your game is REALLY familiar to it.Excepting the fact that the MC doesn't work in a hospital O_o.xD.I think a character in the game,Issei,said something similar to: "I have no right to know what happiness is. Not when I nearly cost someone their life." (Issei also sort of disliked his dad).It's just a heads up.I'll still play your game,though..But..just in case,you HAVEN'T heard of that game,you should maybe look it up and change some things in the summary? I don't know,it's just a suggestion.Still,a good plot .
~
Are the characters interesting?
Yeeuuuppp ~ ^_^.Ryu,doe xD."Dislikes being beaten by Hiro".
~
If so, who would you like the most?
I like the MC.She's all bad arse 'nd stuff.Like,Ima get revenge on you guys!
~
Does the story seem appealing?
Hm.Well,the fact that I played a game like this already,I think that your game sounds OK.This is just my opinion,though.I'm sure a lot of other people will find the plot very interesting.As I said,I will still play the game to see if it's different from Kiss of Revenge.
~
Anyways,Good luck .Doing 5 character routes is truly a lot of work.I hope you get it done! ^_^.I also wish you luck in finding a CG artist.I'd help but..I can't draw to save my life.Lel.Really *_*.Okay,Bye now ;o.I'll be checking this(;.

[Sleipnir56]

What do you think of the plot?
Erm,To be quite honest..This plot sounds intriguing and all but it reminds me of a game called 'Kiss of Revenge'.It's by a known otome-game company called 'Voltage.inc'.I don't know if you've heard of it (or maybe got some inspiration from it)? But anyways,you should probably check it out...your game is REALLY familiar to it.Excepting the fact that the MC doesn't work in a hospital O_o.xD.I think a character in the game,Issei,said something similar to: "I have no right to know what happiness is. Not when I nearly cost someone their life." (Issei also sort of disliked his dad).It's just a heads up.I'll still play your game,though..But..just in case,you HAVEN'T heard of that game,you should maybe look it up and change some things in the summary? I don't know,it's just a suggestion.Still,a good plot .
~
Are the characters interesting?
Yeeuuuppp ~ ^_^.Ryu,doe xD."Dislikes being beaten by Hiro".
~
If so, who would you like the most?
I like the MC.She's all bad arse 'nd stuff.Like,Ima get revenge on you guys!
~
Does the story seem appealing?
Hm.Well,the fact that I played a game like this already,I think that your game sounds OK.This is just my opinion,though.I'm sure a lot of other people will find the plot very interesting.As I said,I will still play the game to see if it's different from Kiss of Revenge.
~
Anyways,Good luck .Doing 5 character routes is truly a lot of work.I hope you get it done! ^_^.I also wish you luck in finding a CG artist.I'd help but..I can't draw to save my life.Lel.Really *_*.Okay,Bye now ;o.I'll be checking this(;.

1.I've never played the game before. This was just something I came up with and decided to see if I could make a story around it. Eventually, I was able to think of something. I did take your advice and read the plot to Voltage's game. It does sound similar wise but my game is very different. One of the biggest things, and I'm really hoping this isn't a major spoiler ,is that she is a former Hermaphrodite. I didn't want to put that into the plot here because I thought it would ruin it for people. Also, I really suck a writing summaries and came up with the most simple thing I could think of because I didn't have a good idea in my mind yet. As for Hiro, I can't really change him. He's part of her suffering but has nothing to do with anyone's death. I also guess that him not liking his dad is a bit cliche but I need that badly because he's close with his uncle Jun. I'm really sorry that this might sound similar to the companies game but it is very different. I hope that you and anyone else who sees the similarity will know that it's nothing like 'Kiss of Revenge'. I'm just not good at writing summaries so it's hard for me to come up with a unique one, which I hope is better now. I still hope you'll be interested though and thank you for telling me this .

2-I want to have a poll if I can to see if Ryu beats Jun. I get the feelings they'll be the most popular guys . PS-Jun is my fav to. My sister helped me make him

3.I'm worried that people will hate the main character. It's true that she will have some bad moments but she will be a good person, hopefully, and maybe, instead of getting revenge of the family, Kana will help them solve some of their problems they have.

4. Please don't think they're similar. I know the plot sounds the same, I changed it by the way, but the story is much different. It's about betrayal, lust, friendship, love, and trying to understand someone's elses pain. I want her to try and help the Himura family, because they are really screwed up in some ways.

Five routes are a lot. I might get rid of Liam's route and just make him a person she can talk to. He's the only one whose not on her hate list

[Sleipnir56]

What do you think of the plot? I liked the plot very must, i think it was very intressing

Are the characters interesting? Yes very interesting

If so, who would you like the most? Jun

Does the story seem appealing?" Yes very much

I really looked forward to this game very much and i know this game Would be very good

1.Thank you

2.I'm glad you like them. It's hard for me to make interesting ones

3. Thanks again.

I'm glad your looking forward to it. I hope I'll be able to continue on with this, and my other two, and finish it this year

[Rozume]

former Hermaphrodite

I can't speak for everyone, but a lot of intersex indivduals find the term 'hermaphrodite' offensive. Furthermore, it's outdated.

Also, if you're going to make your MC an intersex indivudal, designated female at birth, then you need to do a lot of research on the topic. She going to question the very concept of gender as well, and learn/know that sex and gender is not as strictly binary as people think it is.

[Sleipnir56]

former Hermaphrodite

I can't speak for everyone, but a lot of intersex indivduals find the term 'hermaphrodite' offensive. Furthermore, it's outdated.

Also, if you're going to make your MC an intersex indivudal, designated female at birth, then you need to do a lot of research on the topic. She going to question the very concept of gender as well, and learn/know that sex and gender is not as strictly binary as people think it is.

I'm sorry if it was offensive. I wasn't trying to be. The plots being restructured right now. I'm changing personalities and getting rid of Liam. She will no longer be intersex either

[BrokenAngel75]

1.I like the plot a lot. Though I'm not to into tragedy because I always have a tendancy to cry . Still think it's a neat idea

2.Yes very. Can't wait to see their story arcs.

3.I love Reno. Reminds me of the Reno from Final Fantasy a but

4.Yes. I'd like to play it when it comes out

Anyway, good luck with this. I hope you do a good

[Omniknight]

......
*Not sure what to say*

[Sugar-Junkie]

I don't think PhoenixStardust's point was "don't do the game", it was more like "please, handle this issues carefully as it could hurt real life people".

I would have loved a well-written intersex MC myself. You should get some intersex & non-binary beta readers, that would surely help you to get a better understanding of your character and make sure your work isn't offensive

[Sleipnir56]

I don't think PhoenixStardust's point was "don't do the game", it was more like "please, handle this issues carefully as it could hurt real life people".

I would have loved a well-written intersex MC myself. You should get some intersex & non-binary beta readers, that would surely help you to get a better understanding of your character and make sure your work isn't offensive

I didn't want be be offensive and I know she didn't mean stop the game at all. It's just I can't get the story in gear . I've changed the title many times and even took away/added characters but it's not going anywhere. The original plot I had was okay but someone said it sounded familiar to a popular game by voltage. I wish I could think out the story better but I can't. The reason I got rid of it was the story just didn't sound to good. But still, thanks

[Caveat Lector]

Don't entirely throw away the story itself, or at least certain elements of it. If some elements or characters in the story aren't working but still appeal to you, just make a note of them and put them aside. They might come in handy for a future story. And if you want to write an intersex character, go for it--just do your research on the topic and try to get someone who knows more about the topic to go over the basics with you.

[Sleipnir56]

Don't entirely throw away the story itself, or at least certain elements of it. If some elements or characters in the story aren't working but still appeal to you, just make a note of them and put them aside. They might come in handy for a future story. And if you want to write an intersex character, go for it--just do your research on the topic and try to get someone who knows more about the topic to go over the basics with you.

I'll keep some elements and will defiantly will do the research. Thanks and I hope I can come up with a better idea and know more if I'm writing that part