A Smiles Dream (CANCELLED)

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ChillTaco
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A Smiles Dream (CANCELLED)

#1 Post by ChillTaco »

You play as a girl named Angela living in the streets. A man named Henry finds you starving and he offers you food. Eventually over time you begin to trust him. He offers you a job at his club. Cleans you up and acts as your fairy god mother or guardian angel. At the end of the game Angela is beaten to death by a young boxer named Charley. Reasons have yet to be decided.

The game play will be pretty liner as I plan the game to be mostly story focused and cut down on the complications of choice. I'm to lazy. But after you beat the game you will unlock choices that allow you to interact with Charley and better understand him.... Ill tell you now I don't like Charley. His character makes me sick.

After you finish Charley Im thinking of adding an extra chapter where you play as Angelas ghost and you try to comfort the ones who morn you but in the end realize you are unable to do anything.

Year is unknown but everything is kinda 60's. Ill try to find some free musics I guess that fit the setting. Something that sound like Frank Sinatra or Nick Cole.

Here are some sprites people have ether seen or not seen, and one new sprite. Im not gunna put to much effort into the designs as this game is just a game Im making to finish something. BG's will be the last thing I make, Im gunna try to make a total of 8-10 CG's but the end product may have less.

The Murderer Charley. A classic boxing hero that cant keep the violence in the ring. Weak or strong he will beat down people without a shred of regret or guilt. He kills Angela in a back ally. The reason why changes on the second play through if you take his path.

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The Club Owner Henry. Thought to be a snake and a cheat because of his looks and manner of speaking. Has no luck with women despite being a nice guy because of this. Rumored to be a member of the mafia. He morns Angela the most after she dies.

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Angela is a young woman who lost her family at a young age and ran away from the orphanage because the lady who owned it abused her. She has been living on the streets ever since. Though untrusting, rough, and occasionally very cruel, she can recognize sincerity when she sees it and be kind and grateful to that person.

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This song wont be used cause... poo anyway it best represents the tone of the first half of the game.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHDO3XB9hFw
Last edited by ChillTaco on Mon Apr 20, 2015 11:15 pm, edited 4 times in total.

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Re: A Smiles Dream (Tragedy, 60's Cheese, Otome)

#2 Post by ChillTaco »

Well. Im guessing that people really dont like the guy designs and find the "No matter What death end" stupid. So Im gunna add a decent looking dude and make him a shaman. He unlocks after Charleys path is completed you find him after you die and become a ghost. He helps you find peace and promises to remember you in the next life.

Well he keeps that promise, when you start a new game after that you can then go on his route and though he pretends to not have known you he will remember you from before. This is the only good ending, as you will not be murdered on his route.

I have no idea what to name him. All I got is an incomplete CG of him on a couch, though it looks weird so Im gunna change the couch into a banister and make another where he looks down from the second floor. Geez I hate that I cant draw anything but people. LOOK at that couch, it looks like shiiit. Ill post sprites tomorrow I guess.

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Re: A Smiles Dream (Tragedy, 60's Cheese, Otome)

#3 Post by fleet »

"Well. Im guessing that people really dont like the guy designs and find the "No matter What death end" stupid. "

Your post was only up for less than 12 hours (in the USA most of those hours were at night), and has had 129 views when I posted this. Your art is original; I especially like Angela. Write the story that you want to write.
Some of my visual novels are at http://www.the-new-lagoon.com. They are NSFW
Poorly done hand-drawn art is still poorly done art. Be a Poser (or better yet, use DAZ Studio 3D) - dare to be different.

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Re: A Smiles Dream (Tragedy, 60's Cheese, Otome)

#4 Post by ChillTaco »

Nahh it wasnt that. I showed a couple of friends and they gave me shiit yesterday. Its my own fault for being a dude trying to make an otome. Maybe next time Ill make a quick game for the dudes. LOL. But thanks though, that actually makes me ultra happy.

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Re: A Smiles Dream (Tragedy, 60's Cheese, Otome)

#5 Post by fleet »

In this case I'd say ignore your friends and write your story the way you want to write it. Remember, you can't please everyone.
Some folks will read your story and like it, some will read it and not like it, and some won't read it. :wink:
Some of my visual novels are at http://www.the-new-lagoon.com. They are NSFW
Poorly done hand-drawn art is still poorly done art. Be a Poser (or better yet, use DAZ Studio 3D) - dare to be different.

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Re: A Smiles Dream (Tragedy, 60's Cheese, Otome)

#6 Post by ChillTaco »

Yea. I should ignore them more often. Those d-bags lag to much anyway.

@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@

Well I dont think Im going to use him. I hate his outfit, His hair, and I especially hate how terrible I am at pixels. I think Ill turn him into the creative commons section. Doubt anyone would use my dirty pixel art anyway. Ill post some dialogue I had written for him that I didnt proof read and an unfinished sprite along with that gross looking CG I managed to finsh.

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Scene 22

edit: removed cause writing was really baaad.
Last edited by ChillTaco on Thu Apr 16, 2015 4:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: A Smiles Dream (Tragedy, 60's Cheese, Otome)

#7 Post by ChillTaco »

Ima post my Incomplete cg of Angela as a child. Its actually pretty painful to draw in this size cause my Wacom is damaged so Ive been drawing with the tips of my fingers on my laptops touch mouse. Spirtes arent so bad, 24 bit is easy to draw, but masive images are difficult. So details go down the toilet lol. Anyway yea. The face is done..... OH GOD MY HAND HURTS>




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Re: A Smiles Dream (Tragedy, 60's Cheese, Otome)

#8 Post by ChillTaco »

ANd its done. Not as planned though. This is actually the second of a two part cg sequence. The first one will have the child sitting in the streets looking all depressed. This is just a close up... It didnt turn out as good as I thought It would. Maybe cause I got lazy with the BG. WELL IM BAD AT THOSE so forgive me lol.

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Re: A Smiles Dream (Tragedy, 60's Cheese, Otome)

#9 Post by ChillTaco »

I made the first part to the bg above. IS>.....Incomplete. It turned out ok but the background is none existent. I dont know what to do? Cement wall? BUT THATS boring. Maybe cement wall then a transition with feathers and purple glowing junk. Cause chicks like purple glowing junk.... Probably?

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This is one of the only two CG's you get during the childhood act. I don't think Ill use a whole sprite for her child self. IT would be tuuu short. So Ill just do that stupid thing where you see the faces in the corner of the text box. Lazy 4 the win.... Maaan I really got to work on a logo of some shit huh, along with some other stuff. This short game is turning out more demanding then I thought. I mean only like 5 people are going to download it probably.

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Re: A Smiles Dream (Tragedy, 60's Cheese, Otome)

#10 Post by ChillTaco »

So I got Angela age child box sprite done. Its meh. I also started on adult Angela but I made it waaaaaaay to big. I was like god dammit. NO. NOO..... sigh. I work all day on assets. Support is 0. I dont even get so much as a you suck now adays. My friends suck.

I made her to pretty I think. But Adult Angela is supposed to be sexy beautiful, cause you know, I don't know how to draw ugly girls and females. Also damn. Why are anime chicks always looking like their 10. F$@K moe. And I was watching/reading some shoujo for research on how to make a girls story like 2 months ago. It was freaking awful. Like the chicks supposed to be normal. BUt she was adorable and shit. Why the hell are they always innocent? They aren't even like, church girls or anything. And for some god damn reason all the dudes wanted them on there mighty weapon. Wut. And shirts fly off every god damn panel, and always crying. THE CHICK IS ALWAYS CRYING>

Shounen chicks suck too. But that's usually the main characters fault for being a huge spurglord or border line homo. I mean pansu pansu Moge Moge shit. Im a man. I like things..... But that's just, its not the god damn plot. NOT THE PLOT>

Anyway. I decided to go with a more american approach to the writing long ago. So that's how the story is going to play out. The only time the girl will cry is when she is beaten to death in a back ally and stuffed in a dumpster. Well maybe not a dumpster. I haven't decided yet. I like how I used a dysney/pretty woman/chick flick cliche and made the ending about murder. Cause shit happens.

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Re: A Smiles Dream (Tragedy, 60's Cheese, Otome)

#11 Post by ChillTaco »

Angela expressions for small box near text box. Re-sized. 2 of them maybe considered disturbing. I consider them disturbing, only cause I know the details.

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Re: A Smiles Dream (Tragedy, 60's Cheese, Otome)

#12 Post by Laiska »

ChillTaco wrote:Its my own fault for being a dude trying to make an otome. Maybe next time Ill make a quick game for the dudes. LOL.
The label 'otome' generally implies that you are making a game that is intended to be played and enjoyed by women—why is this something you're interested in doing? Just because your main character is a female, it doesn't automatically make it a game for women, any more than a story with a main character who is a rabbit is intended to be enjoyed by actual rabbits. You can make a game for a general audience or men with a female main character.

If you sincerely are trying to appeal to women, you are going about it in a tragically wrong way. I know very few women who enjoy an explicit battered woman story. There is nothing appealing about violence towards women and murder, without very extenuating circumstances. As far as I can tell, Angela holds no power, only exists as an object to enact violence upon as you learn Charlie's story. Even her just floating around as a ghost hardly tells her story. She has no power, and no agency.
ChillTaco wrote: I consider them disturbing, only cause I know the details.
I assure you they are disturbing regardless.
ChillTaco wrote:Why the hell are they always innocent? They aren't even like, church girls or anything. And for some god damn reason all the dudes wanted them on there mighty weapon. Wut. And shirts fly off every god damn panel, and always crying. THE CHICK IS ALWAYS CRYING>

Shounen chicks suck too. But that's usually the main characters fault for being a huge spurglord or border line homo. I mean pansu pansu Moge Moge shit. Im a man. I like things..... But that's just, its not the god damn plot. NOT THE PLOT>
What are you even trying to say here? I sincerely hope you are a troll. If not you need to really evaluate what you're doing, and whether you should be communicating this project with the public.

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Re: A Smiles Dream (Tragedy, 60's Cheese, Otome)

#13 Post by ChillTaco »

Laiska wrote:
ChillTaco wrote:Its my own fault for being a dude trying to make an otome. Maybe next time Ill make a quick game for the dudes. LOL.
The label 'otome' generally implies that you are making a game that is intended to be played and enjoyed by women—why is this something you're interested in doing? Just because your main character is a female, it doesn't automatically make it a game for women, any more than a story with a main character who is a rabbit is intended to be enjoyed by actual rabbits. You can make a game for a general audience or men with a female main character.

If you sincerely are trying to appeal to women, you are going about it in a tragically wrong way. I know very few women who enjoy an explicit battered woman story. There is nothing appealing about violence towards women and murder, without very extenuating circumstances. As far as I can tell, Angela holds no power, only exists as an object to enact violence upon as you learn Charlie's story. Even her just floating around as a ghost hardly tells her story. She has no power, and no agency.
ChillTaco wrote: I consider them disturbing, only cause I know the details.
I assure you they are disturbing regardless.
ChillTaco wrote:Why the hell are they always innocent? They aren't even like, church girls or anything. And for some god damn reason all the dudes wanted them on there mighty weapon. Wut. And shirts fly off every god damn panel, and always crying. THE CHICK IS ALWAYS CRYING>

Shounen chicks suck too. But that's usually the main characters fault for being a huge spurglord or border line homo. I mean pansu pansu Moge Moge shit. Im a man. I like things..... But that's just, its not the god damn plot. NOT THE PLOT>
What are you even trying to say here? I sincerely hope you are a troll. If not you need to really evaluate what you're doing, and whether you should be communicating this project with the public.

Well Im a troll, but I am seriously making the game and them things are my real thoughts after researching chick stuff. A friend of mine said I should work out the kinks and learning curve of making a game myself. So I said, "Well what should I make?" and he replied make a game for girls, something out of your comfort zone.

Decided to make a short game. I looked up the what a girls VN would be called, Its otome, But maybe my game isnt otome.... whoops? Uggh now that I look at it, I was saying a lot of weird shit. Thats just how I explain things to people though. My writing of this otome with a dark ending, the characterization, and and the look was all decided on my incredible disappointment in mainstream manga. Originally it was just going to be rainbows, unicorns, and glitter. Maybe I should change the Description to horror. I dont know cause only the end of the game features the brutal seances, most of the game is you basic pretty woman Cinderella scenario, except her childhood, thats more like....that one book with the marry go round? She may be powerless, but that's cause she is normal. If you picked up a boy off the streets it would be the same.

You are right about the battered female thing. I don't like it ether. ITs the reason I hate Charle, intermittent explosive disorder... But I want to make a good story with a touch of realism, usually when people are beaten to death by a psychopath they look like pooop. And well, male or female, people die horribly.

The point of the ghost scene, if I decide to add it, was for development. Angela never had people important to her really. She mostly lived day by day trying just striving to survive. She stopped feeling helpless regardless of her situation a few years after she left the orphanage, that's how she manged to keep going . Even during her murder she felt strength in the fact that she wasn't scared. Acceptance. I wont go on and on though. LOL. I dont like to write much about the plot cause Im not someone who likes reading paragraphs of stuff. I tried to get into the other Ideas and stuff written here, but they had LOOOONG summaries. I just looked at the art and skimmed the rest.



OH YES. Im also supper hyped that someone else finally said something. I am actually putting hours into this so your feed back makes me happy. I get a lot of flak from my friends but they dont like VNs. So I dont get so much as a "you suck" from them anymore. So thanks.

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Re: A Smiles Dream (Tragedy, 60's Cheese, Otome)

#14 Post by Rinima »

I can't say the story strikes me as something I want to read, but that's just me. And I don't think this is an otome XD Maybe relable is horror or a deconstruction of otome, would make more sense.
As for the art, as a fan of pixel, I'm looking forward to seeing it come into the VN scene more, so yay for that. The only thing I would point out is the the boobs look a bit like balloons taped to her chest, maybe make them less... gravity defining XD
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Re: A Smiles Dream (Tragedy, 60's Cheese, Otome)

#15 Post by ChillTaco »

Rinima wrote:I can't say the story strikes me as something I want to read, but that's just me. And I don't think this is an otome XD Maybe relable is horror or a deconstruction of otome, would make more sense.
As for the art, as a fan of pixel, I'm looking forward to seeing it come into the VN scene more, so yay for that. The only thing I would point out is the the boobs look a bit like balloons taped to her chest, maybe make them less... gravity defining XD
Yea. Those boobies do look like balloons. Maybe I go and be a free artist after this, cause that comment made me happy. TOOO HAPPY.... hmmm Maybe I should make 2 versions of the game, The PG and the R version.

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